Should my friend offer to wash up when I’ve cooked for her?

[Wonderwall25]

As above really. My friend comes over once a month and vice-versa and we cook for each other and catch up.

I always offer to help with the washing up at hers, but she doesn’t ever offer when at mine.

I find this rude. However, when I’ve mentioned to DP he says he wouldn’t expect a guest to wash up so thinks IBU.

Would you usually offer or is it just me?

Fucking hell. Many of you do not like your friends.

I wouldn't dream of allowing a guest to wash up. It's part of hosting.

If I’m hosting I want my guests to relax and drink wine and chat! There’s a skill in hosting and there’s also a skill in being hosted. If you’re scrabbling around trying to help / interfere and refusing to chill and relax, you’re not helping the host feel like they’re doing a good job of hosting! Sit the duck down.

No, I wouldn’t offer any where else and wouldn’t expect anyone to offer me.

I agree with it's just a part of hosting. They wash up at theirs when it's their turn, you wash at yours.

I wouldn't expect guests to do washing up, that's very odd is it not? I dont remember anyone ever doing that at anyones house I've been too, total vibe killer imo

If someone cooked for me I’d offer to wash up.

If I cook for someone else and they offered to wash up I wouldn’t let them but I’d appreciate the offer.

I wouldn’t dream of expecting a guest to do any domestic chores in my home. I’m with your DH - you don’t host them expect the guest to wash up.

I would offer but they’d always decline - same as would happen at mine

the most I would expect would be assistance taking dishes from the table to the sink, not actual washing up, nor would I think to offer at a friends house.

If you’ve been invited to dinner enough times in your life you will know not to offer to wash up. You eat and chat and enjoy yourself which is what a seasoned host will want you to do.

Absolutely. And I wouldn't expect another MN favourite - stripping the bed after they have stayed the night. It's weird. Stop it!

Nope, I never offer to wash up as a guest, however I never expect or want guests to wash up at mine. Like a PP says, it’s part of hosting, if a guest is going to have to help cook/ wash up then tbh they may as well have stayed at home and cooked for themselves IMO.

My MIL always expects guests to help her prepare food and wash up and it irks me tbh, I’d understand more if she was cooking for me every week but it’s like twice a year

Would never let my guests wash up

Guests shouldn't be washing up. I say no if they offer.

I would never expect that either, but weirdly I always do it when I stay somewhere. Can’t work out why as I would never be annoyed if my guests didn’t do it

Stop offering at hers!

It isn’t the done thing to expect guests to wash up, nor to accept any offer they make to do so.

God no, guests should not wash up!

You're inviting them over for a meal. Then you want them to do the dishes?

I'd pass on meals at your place. 🙃

No not really I might vaguely offer on the
assumption they’ll say no.

I don’t go to other peoples house for dinner to do washing up, I have to do that enough in my own house.

i would do it for family, to help out, maybe going back to the days when we lived together and all pitched in.

Does she accept your offer to wash up when she has cooked?

God no. You don’t invite a guest expecting them to chip in with house work!

When you have dinner with a friend who the heck is spending some of that time washing dishes? How odd. And no, guests shouldn’t be expected to do domestic chores. I wouldn’t offer either. You do them after the evening is over or next morning. The social occasion and enjoying the company is the whole point. Not clearing up!

I wouldnt wash up until they have gone so no i wouldnt expect them to help

Get a dishwasher!