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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

185 replies

Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:10

The arrangement was I’d dog sit for 4 days, dog has always been fed on dry dog food no issues and I wasn’t expected to do anything more than feed, walk, look after him. With a week to go I’ve just had a message explaining his new diet (raw!!! With all theses extra things eggs sweet potato vegetable and some kind of oil!) I can’t cope with that as I’m vegetarian and autistic and have issues around food smells!

There’s also a grooming appt ??! That I’m expected to take him to. I’ve said it’s not going to be possible for me to facilitate the raw feeding or the appointment. This has caused a massive issue as friend wasn’t prepared to back down so I’ve said ‘sorry you’ll have to make alternative arrangements’ AIBU ? It’s been arranged for months and I even saw them last week and nothing was mentioned then but apparently he’s been on this new diet for a while ??

OP posts:
BettysRoasties · 25/09/2025 17:12

Totally not unreasonable.

We raw fed our dogs when we had them and it’s not something I’d just throw at someone who’s not used to it. I also wouldn’t book in dog grooming for while I was away.

She wasn’t upfront when she asked the goalposts have moved. I wouldn’t feel bad for backing out.

tinyspiny · 25/09/2025 17:14

This is entirely your friends own fault she has changed the goal posts massively

HannahHamptonsGloves · 25/09/2025 17:15

Not at all unreasonable. While raw food is typically carefully prepared and of high quality, is is not without risks for both dogs and those feeding them. It is a very different ball game to tipping some kibble into a bowl twice a day.

InMyOpenOnion · 25/09/2025 17:15

The grooming appointment could presumably be moved to when they're back, it's not really fair for them to expect you to cover that. For the food, could they prepare it in portions before they go so you just put it in the bowl? They sound a bit inconsiderate to me, probably because they can't see the problem. I would try and do the feeding but if you can't, you can't.

TheJeanQueen · 25/09/2025 17:16

She should have mentioned the new requirements when she first asked you. Maybe she didn’t realise it would be an issue, but that’s on her. It’s not worth falling out over, but if she’s being an arse about it, I’d back away from her.

UnhappyHobbit · 25/09/2025 17:16

I’m a bit undecided here. Does your friend have form to mess you around?
If you’re a vegetarian, I assume your an animal lover? I’d hate to put my friend under unnecessary stress when they are going away. What if kennels are the only other option? I’d also hate to think that I have left a dog to be in a kennel, you know, as an animal lover.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/09/2025 17:18

The grooming appointment can be changed

and she can bag up the food into individual bags so all you have to do is tip it in the bowl. She can easily mix the oil and the mince and the veg together and have individual bags made up in the bottom of the fridge

you shouldn’t have to touch any of the meat Flowers

Original poster
Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:18

I’ve said I’ll still do it if he can have the dried food he was previously on but she said that will upset his stomach. Apparently he’s been on the raw diet for 6 weeks now. There’s no way I’d be able to stomach doing it as much from a sensory perspective as not wanting to handle meat.

OP posts:
Original poster
Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:19

LaurieFairyCake · 25/09/2025 17:18

The grooming appointment can be changed

and she can bag up the food into individual bags so all you have to do is tip it in the bowl. She can easily mix the oil and the mince and the veg together and have individual bags made up in the bottom of the fridge

you shouldn’t have to touch any of the meat Flowers

I can’t do it anyway but she was saying it has to be done fresh each time as she adds things like fresh veg and raw eggs ?

OP posts:
millymollymoomoo · 25/09/2025 17:20

We feed raw but it’s out of a packet ( ie no preparation) can they not do that for 4 days ?

BettysRoasties · 25/09/2025 17:21

Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:19

I can’t do it anyway but she was saying it has to be done fresh each time as she adds things like fresh veg and raw eggs ?

Edited
Show quote history

Yeah some people add loads of stuff others buy or make freezable premade.

She’s got the type that would be an Instagramable plate. Chia seeds and all sorts. COD liver oils. Maybe some seaweed.

TheJeanQueen · 25/09/2025 17:21

UnhappyHobbit · 25/09/2025 17:16

I’m a bit undecided here. Does your friend have form to mess you around?
If you’re a vegetarian, I assume your an animal lover? I’d hate to put my friend under unnecessary stress when they are going away. What if kennels are the only other option? I’d also hate to think that I have left a dog to be in a kennel, you know, as an animal lover.

lol, I’m a vegan and definitely an animal lover. But presumably her friend loves dogs and loves her friend, yet she has planned things in a way that has put her friend in an awkward position and maybe her own dogs will have to go in kennels. Just because OP is vegetarian, which may mean she’s an animal lover, doesn’t mean she has more responsibility to her friends animals than the friend has herself!

TheRealGoose · 25/09/2025 17:21

I’m a dog lover and even I think this is too much, particularly the grooming. You’ve done your bit, happy to do it with dry food, otherwise they make alternate arrangements,

Silverbirchleaf · 25/09/2025 17:21

Booking a grooming appointment whilst you were looking after the dog was inconsiderate. That can be moved.

Regarding the food, as someone else has said, can she get portions ready? Its a big ask to ask you to sort this all out.

Lennonjingles · 25/09/2025 17:24

I am a dog owner, no way would I change diet to raw without letting you know, there are raw complete meals, whilst not perfect for you, may be ok as you just empty the tray out. I wouldn’t expect you to take dog to groomers appointment, they’ve known about being away, so should have changed this appointment. I don’t know any dog boarders who would facilitate this.

dammit88 · 25/09/2025 17:26

The food I think you are being unreasonable but to book a grooming appointment expecting you to take the dog is ridiculous!

Original poster
Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:27

I know she has had said his diet can’t be changed back and I appreciate that but what would the effect be if he had a raw diet without the meat part ? Eg the eggs , veg, oils etc just for 4 days ? Or would that also make him unwell ? As if I could raw feed vegetarian I would do it (as I was actually looking forward to looking after him😭)

OP posts:
SparklyCardigan · 25/09/2025 17:28

I mean, I wouldn't have agreed to dog sit in the first place but if you can make your own meals surely you can feed a dog raw food? It might not be pleasant but it's not going to kill you.
Not going to the appointment is fair enough, they can move that.

Xztop · 25/09/2025 17:29

I like animals more than people and I don't think you're unreasonable at all. Your friend is.

Whentosayitsover · 25/09/2025 17:32

I think you’ve been more than accommodating and tried to find a way around this to help your friend. She needs to be less rigid and meet you at what you’ve said you can do. I totally understand the issue with preparing the raw meat and sensory issues around that. You shouldn’t have to put yourself through that.

TheJeanQueen · 25/09/2025 17:33

SparklyCardigan · 25/09/2025 17:28

I mean, I wouldn't have agreed to dog sit in the first place but if you can make your own meals surely you can feed a dog raw food? It might not be pleasant but it's not going to kill you.
Not going to the appointment is fair enough, they can move that.

The OP is vegetarian so will prepare vegetarian meals for herself, not handle raw meat. She is also autistic with sensory issues.

BettysRoasties · 25/09/2025 17:35

Rawfoodworries · 25/09/2025 17:27

I know she has had said his diet can’t be changed back and I appreciate that but what would the effect be if he had a raw diet without the meat part ? Eg the eggs , veg, oils etc just for 4 days ? Or would that also make him unwell ? As if I could raw feed vegetarian I would do it (as I was actually looking forward to looking after him😭)

That wouldn’t be a balanced or healthy diet for the dog. So wouldn’t be fair on the dog at all.

MatildaTheCat · 25/09/2025 17:43

She’s an idiot.

If you are still speaking to her maybe say it’s the dry diet plus some veg etc and no grooming appointment or cheery bye.

I have a dog and am not vegetarian. We use a cooked food but I have to touch it and honestly I really dislike it.

LaurieFairyCake · 25/09/2025 17:47

No, it all mixed up is fine in bags in the fridge - it’s how I do it

mugglewump · 25/09/2025 17:49

I don't see why you can't do the dog sit, but go back to the old food type.
Asking you to prepare food especially, is not what you agreed. However, cracking an egg over some kibble is easy and this you could still do.

As for taking the dog to the groomer's, you could ask them to change the appointment if it is difficult for you to get to. However, a groomer's appointment is a couple of dog free hours for you and she'll be paying.

Yes, she has moved the goalposts, but she probably hadn't realised that any of this would be an issue. She clearly loves her dog and would not want to stick him/her in some kennels - even if she could get a place - so you are forcing her to cancel her trip over trivial matters.

See if you can compromise on the food and don't let her down.