To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

[Rawfoodworries]

The arrangement was I’d dog sit for 4 days, dog has always been fed on dry dog food no issues and I wasn’t expected to do anything more than feed, walk, look after him. With a week to go I’ve just had a message explaining his new diet (raw!!! With all theses extra things eggs sweet potato vegetable and some kind of oil!) I can’t cope with that as I’m vegetarian and autistic and have issues around food smells!

There’s also a grooming appt ??! That I’m expected to take him to. I’ve said it’s not going to be possible for me to facilitate the raw feeding or the appointment. This has caused a massive issue as friend wasn’t prepared to back down so I’ve said ‘sorry you’ll have to make alternative arrangements’ AIBU ? It’s been arranged for months and I even saw them last week and nothing was mentioned then but apparently he’s been on this new diet for a while ??

She should have told you, or not changed the dogs diet before she went. Kennels will not do raw feeding.

No I was having him stay with me , I have done it in the past many times (I’m no good at staying away from home !) I’m doing it just as a favour

I wouldn't be happy about this either. It’s disrespectful - asking for one thing then moving the goal-posts and getting angry when the person declines to do as they’re told.

As someone who is not autistic or vegetarian, I still sometimes find raw dog food unbearable - don’t put yourself through it even if it’s bagged up, preportioned etc, you’ll hate it so much.

And you’re not letting your friend down!

YANBU at all - this is so cheeky of her. If you’re sitting the dog at your house it’s hugely presumptuous - and rude - to assume you’d be OK to even have meat products in your house/ kitchen, let alone having to prep them, touch them and smell them.

I once house sat for a vegetarian relative who was very insistent no meat crossed the threshold, and I completely understood this.

I’d probably be prepared to compromise if friend made up bags of the raw that just needed emptying into a bowl, but that’s only because I know how far in advance professional sitters need to be booked. Not all dogs have the kennel cough vaccine as standard and kennels won’t take unvaccinated dogs.

I feel for you @Rawfoodworries
You’ve been put in a really awkward position. If you’re definitely no longer doing it, please don’t feel bad, it’s not your issue at all and saying no because the goalposts have massively changed isn’t wrong.

I would hate that too! I am glad sense in the vote has prevailed!

I’m not vegetarian but I couldn’t cope with handling raw dog meat…….vivid memories of my grandmother’s dog who was fed on raw beast hearts…….they were gross! As for the grooming appointment…….your friend is taking the piss, the dog can wait 4 days surely?

You’re not being unreasonable at all, especially since you were going to be having him at yours. Not fair at all to expect a vegetarian to a) handle meat and especially b) keep it in their own fridge

Not fair to drop that on you, especially as she wants all the extras, entirely unnecessary to put that on to a friend doing you a favour.
You can get freeze dried raw if she's prepared to try that. Fine for a short period

Autistic veggie here and no way I could do it.

Id also be really upset and thrown at all this, the disregard of my disability by someone who should know me if they are my friend.

Changes of plans are tough but then all the new expectations, the stress of having to go to a dog parlour & communicate with someone new. Then what if something happened to the dog there, what if they cut his hair wrong will I be blamed?

The food would make me ill just waiting to do it, worrying if I got it wrong and I’d be paranoid of germs.

Honestly none of this says this person is a genuine friend 😕

Stick with your boundaries

The grooming appt is taking massive advantage. She can take her own dog when she’s back

I work as a petsitter and I've never been asked to take a dog to the groomers while the owners are away! I mean, I would probably do it if the dog was a regular and comfortable about it, but I would expect to be asked, not told! Have they paid for the groom in advance or are they expecting you to pay?

They are saving a bit of money by you doing this favour for them. If they want someone to take care of their dog in exactly the way they demand, they need to pay for that. I don't think you're being unreasonable at all!

I'm a paid pet sitter (mostly cats, no dogs). If the owner suddenly told me, after confirming the booking and payment, that the cat now had a special diet that would take 4 times as long to prepare, and I was to take the cat to the vet for vaccinations (i.e. an appt that can definitely wait a few weeks), I'd cancel the booking.

No way they should expect you to do all that without previous agreement.

She obviously should have told you about the change to his diet well in advance, if she's expecting you to do anything complicated, and the grooming appointment is just silly. She should reschedule that. However, I do think that if I'd committed to caring for the dog, I'd try to find a way that I could still do that this time, minus the trip to the groomer. I don't see why his food can't be premixed and stored in the fridge or freezer. If she won't budge on that point and it's just too complicated, she'll have to find another solution.

Definitely not unreasonable for the level of request they're putting in at such a short notice. They should have at least mentioned that they changed the diet weeks ago. Don't feel bad for letting them down, they changed the agreement conditions. I would never spring something like this on a vegetarian friend, especially if I knew they had a problem with smels and textures. Not fair to you. Good you backed up.

I think the food issue is fine, my puppy had endless diarrhoea on kibble (I was swayed by the offers!) but we usually feed raw. When they went into kennels, we made up freezer bags of the raw stuff so it could just be tipped out. Would you cope with that? Making a grooming appointment is dead cheeky!

That’s ridiculous and I can’t see a kennel doing that either.

Do you think she waited this long because she knew you wouldn't want to do it but hopes you might be emotionally blackmailed into it at this late stage?
I hope she doesn't try. How did she take it? Is she trying to sort alternative care or is she trying to guilt trip you into doing what she wants you to do?
If there is not much time she may struggle to find somewhere that will accommodate her requirements and she may be back trying to talk you into it. Like most have said you are absolutely in the right to say this won't work for you. Stick with what you are happy to do and let her compromise or find another solution.

Hi op. I'm autistic too. No way would I be prepared or able to do the meal prep. I don't think some posters in support of going along with it get the sensory issues around this.

The dog groomer appointment is a piss take. I'm really surprised she thought that was a reasonable ask.

Grooming appt is a cheeky ask

I mostly work with dogs, not cats! And I probably wouldn't go straight to cancellation but I would put up the price. I have a contract with clients that details what we've agreed on in terms of how I care for their pet, and they can't just make changes to that without getting my agreement.

Saying that, I've never had a client try it on. People who are willing to pay the going rate for a professional petsitter really just care about their pet being okay and wouldn't mess the sitter around in case it jeopardised that.

Could they or you ask someone else to feed him and you do the rest? Apart from.thw grooming appointment, that seems OTT

In which case asking you to do a specific raw diet and attend grooming appointments is taking the piss! You are within your rights to say no.

I cant evem stomach canned dog food let alone raw. 🤢🤮

She failed to explain properly because she knows it’s a massive ask and you’d say no. And like @BuildbyNumbere says she will have trouble finding a kennel doing that.

And as if it wasn’t bad enough, it’s at your house and she presumably wants you to keep raw meat in your fridge? As a vegetarian that’s a hard no there.

And someone said you’ll have a few dog free hours if you keep the appointment at the groomers? Erm, that’s not really how it works? That’s more work, not less!

You think it’s fine, it’s not fine for OP as a vegetarian who is autistic and has sensory issues.