To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

[Rawfoodworries]

The arrangement was I’d dog sit for 4 days, dog has always been fed on dry dog food no issues and I wasn’t expected to do anything more than feed, walk, look after him. With a week to go I’ve just had a message explaining his new diet (raw!!! With all theses extra things eggs sweet potato vegetable and some kind of oil!) I can’t cope with that as I’m vegetarian and autistic and have issues around food smells!

There’s also a grooming appt ??! That I’m expected to take him to. I’ve said it’s not going to be possible for me to facilitate the raw feeding or the appointment. This has caused a massive issue as friend wasn’t prepared to back down so I’ve said ‘sorry you’ll have to make alternative arrangements’ AIBU ? It’s been arranged for months and I even saw them last week and nothing was mentioned then but apparently he’s been on this new diet for a while ??

When I have asked friends/neighbours to pet sit I have always been really clear about what is needed and given them loads of opportunities to decline for no reason other than they don't want to... And checked again nearer the time. If she wanted you to do the grooming appt it needed to be a really apologetic 'I'm really sorry but groomers is fully booked for ages and this is the only option they could give me, is there any way that you could, no worries if not.' Not a 'by the way grooming appt is on x day at y time'.... ! And the raw food thing is really unreasonable if not discussed beforehand, she needs to get something ready prepared for those few days.

The only thing that occurs to me is that you said you were really looking forward to it - is it possible that you have been so enthusiastic about looking after the dog that she thinks you will love doing anything dog related? (She's still unreasonable not to be clearer though esp about the food).

If the dog has been on a fully raw diet for 6 weeks, giving it kibble now will cause an upset stomach.

As pp have mentioned there are a good few options for complete raw which would be acceptable for a few days, it would be a case of defrost, portion & serve.

Edit to add, the grooming appt can be changed. I'd never plan this if I was going to be away.

She should have made the changes crystal clear when she implemented them, she's been rude expecting you to fulfil these, YANBU.

She could easily portion the meat up and freeze it. All you would need to do is defrost in the day or night before and not touch it. (I'm not veggie but even I hate handling raw meat.) Then you could just add in the other stuff fresh. As for the groomer - No way!

I am a life long vegetarian with a raw fed dog , don’t like handling it either tbh but my dog and my choice , your friend is being unreasonable not telling you sooner x

Not unreasonable at all. She’s changed the goalposts. And I’m a dog owner/lover.

She should not be expecting you to provide cordon bleu meals for her dog (said as a dog owner). Preparing a raw fresh diet is difficult if you haven't done it before.
Our dog was put on antibiotics for a nasty infection 4 days before we were due to go on holiday. We contacted the sitter straight away and would have fully understood if she didn't feel comfortable giving them. Fortunately (not sure what we would have done otherwise) she said she was fine with it, and doggo is a massive foodie who gobbled them up in a slice of cheese. But you can't move the goalposts and just expect people to be ok with it.

I’d tell her you would be ok giving the prepared raw nuggets (a mix of raw meat and veg etc, in chicken nugget sized frozen chunks) that you could pour into the bowl and leave to defrost. They don’t look ‘meaty’ whilst frozen chunks- if you were ok with that as not handling raw meat and no hassle to prep.

The groomers thing is VUR. If, like the previous poster suggested, she’d approached it as, ‘they’re fully booked, I appreciate it might not be doable, it’s inconvenient etc, but is there any chance you might be able to take him?’ But to present it as a fait accompli? Absolutely not.

This is her problem to fix. You’re saving her a fortune by having him vs defending g boarder/house sitter. The least she can do is try and make things as easy as possible for you.

I say this as a dog lover and owner for 20yrs, who is also veggie and has fed raw.

I think that would be a rather unpleasant task for a vegetarian 🙄

Ah you sound like a very lovely friend and she's being v v unreasonable. I eat meat, but cant handle raw meat!!

You absolutely shouldn’t have to do this if you’re not comfortable with it, don’t let her make you feel bad. However I have been a vegetarian since I was 2 (almost 40 years!) & raw feed my dog. His comes in pre sealed packs so I snip the end open then portion half out into his bowl with a fork that I never use for anything else. I end up not needing to touch the food at all. Then tip what’s left into a (bought for the purpose but any ice cream tub/tupperware type thing will do) pot with a lid & leave it in the fridge till the next meal.
I think though I’d suggest he has the kibble & if you’re happy to add the extra veggies & oils with that he will be ok for 4 days if you really want to have him still.

Well the either cancel the appointment and and feed in kibble for 4 days or make alternative arrangements

you are completely correct

Given the stress I've recently had with sorting arrangements out for my dog, if I was let down at the last minute I'd be fuming.
However, i wouldn't book a groom and would make feeding as easy as possible.

Even raw egg should be ok if kept in a fridge. Alternatively she could pre prepare the meals and you just crack an egg on top?
Booking the groomers is a bit of a cheek without asking you.

I don't think you are being unreasonable about the food. She shouldn't have sprung it on you so late and put you in this position.

It's a bit mad of her to think expecting a vegetarian to feed raw food was OK without at least checking first. Raw meat stinks and adding extras to it means it takes longer to prepare his dinner so smelling it for even longer as well.

I suspect she'd struggle to find a kennels willing to do raw feeding even if it wasn't such short notice now. She should have told you or just let him go back to kibble for 4 days.

She should just pay for a professional dog sitter. I hate friends taking the piss like this.

@Rawfoodworries is your friend paying you for the dog sitting? Are you staying at hers while she is away?

your friend is right that it would cause an upset stomach if you fed him dried food instead, then you’d have a lot of problems on your hands. You cannot just feed him eggs, veg and oil instead. It’s her problem now. She should have considered this when she changed his diet 6wks ago, so this is on her. Asking you to take the dog to the groomer is totally taking the P. She should have changed the appointment to a date she is around. She is going to have to cancel or find someone else. She might not be happy, but it’s not your fault.

Is she paying you to do all this?! Why on earth cant she prep the food in advance and freeze it and you just defrost it ?! Is her dog the pope/royalty?! Most dogs i know , though incredibly sweet eat their own poo, belts and things like that?!
Cracking an egg is one things. Asking you to complete a round of master chef for her doggo with no prior consent from you , whilst expecting you to ferry him back and forth to the groomers (presumably using your petrol etc) is another.
Ask her to prepare most of it , and give you some easy fixes and rearrange it if so inclined.
I am an animal lover and neurodiverse so I get it.
But this is being a cf.

Just do the raw ingredients without the meat and don't tell your friend, the dog will be fine, it's only for four days, she won't know the difference

Not unreasonable at all
We raw feed DDog but when he goes to stay with MIL or his Auntie Sue we send him with other food. His Auntie Sue has now said that she is happy to raw feed him and MIL usually takes him to the Groomer when he stays there (which does make me feel slightly judged but anyway) BUT I would never expect those things

I'm completely fine with raw feeding, but your friend could absolutely prepare the meals and freeze them. It's a lot easier for you and no chance of you getting it wrong.

Gotta say between that and the grooming appointment I'd be miffed, though. A friend is a rep for a dog food brand and is giving me a 20kg free bag to try with my dog. I'm not actually transitioning her until December, when she's not showing. I don't want to risk upsetting her stomach/coat/whatever when it can be inconvenient, so why didn't it occur to your friend to just feed kibble until she's back? Especially with you being vegetarian and autistic!

I wouldn’t book grooming appointments for my pups while I’m away. It’s quite a big ask since they need to be taken to the salon and picked up within 1–2 hours, which I feel is too troublesome for my friend who is kindly helping me look after them. Also, even though I have two dogs and I’m not vegetarian, I personally can’t handle raw food. It’s not really about whether you’d be okay with it, but more that she never agreed with you on this before.

You do realise that kibble contains meat and animal derivatives? Just because it’s not recognisably meat doesn’t mean it’s vegetarian.

that said, your friend shouldn’t throw huge changes at you, especially if she knows you’re autistic. Can she not portion up 4 days worth of meals so you can feed him easily without having to mess around mixing various things

Your friend is being massively unreasonable.

You aren’t “letting her down at the last minute”, she’s at the very least foreseeable switched the tables on you. She should have told you at the outset.

Either she’s done this deliberately to manipulate you into something you’d have turned down if asked at the outset or she’s very stupid.

The appointment can obviously be rearranged to sometime outside of these four days. The food - I’m no expert but I’d have thought dry food plus the non meat elements, prepped in advance as far as possible, would be ok? But you’re totally not unreasonable to say no at this point.