To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

[Rawfoodworries]

The arrangement was I’d dog sit for 4 days, dog has always been fed on dry dog food no issues and I wasn’t expected to do anything more than feed, walk, look after him. With a week to go I’ve just had a message explaining his new diet (raw!!! With all theses extra things eggs sweet potato vegetable and some kind of oil!) I can’t cope with that as I’m vegetarian and autistic and have issues around food smells!

There’s also a grooming appt ??! That I’m expected to take him to. I’ve said it’s not going to be possible for me to facilitate the raw feeding or the appointment. This has caused a massive issue as friend wasn’t prepared to back down so I’ve said ‘sorry you’ll have to make alternative arrangements’ AIBU ? It’s been arranged for months and I even saw them last week and nothing was mentioned then but apparently he’s been on this new diet for a while ??

I’m not autistic and don’t have sensory issues and I wouldn’t do it either!

She’s blindsided you, she knew you would have said no if she had told you weeks ago.

Stick to your no, she will find someone else.

Of course they will, only a really crap kennels wouldn’t provide the dogs usual food.

Is that true? Google says they won’t. Will they want boil sweet potatoes and chop up veg for dog?

I've had a couple of pisstakers unfortunately. But they've all been only prospective new clients (through an online platform). E.g. being pissed off that no, I'm not available to give injections 12 hours apart at 9am and 9pm if they don't request that in the first few messages. I have enough customers and good reviews, so I can turn down rude people.
Thankfully all my regular clients treat me respectfully, and like you, do indeed offer to pay me more for extras.

Edit: one prospective client wanted me to visit after 10pm because her cat's feeder would need resetting 🙄 also had one whose cat had to be let out in between visits, but they had no cat flap, and the cat wouldn't come back for me (or indeed her previous cat sitter) - so I could I visit again a few hours later to let the cat in? FML 🤦 binned that one off.

I didn’t mean it's fine for her, I meant it's fine for them to swap foods. I'm aware of the OP's issues but wondered if she'd cope with ready made bags. If not, then absolutely fair enough.

Dog owner here - YANBU. That's a big goal post to change!

There are two things that come to mind for me that might make it still possible for you to cope with feeding him. One i as others have suggests, a commercially available raw frozen dog food. They are usually complete (don't need anything adding) and can come either freeflow pellets or in ice cube shaped lumps in a bag, so you put the required number of lumps of frozen food into a dog bowl, let it defrost (in the fridge for the next day, or on the counter for the next meal) and then give to the dog, no need to touch the food directly (though you'd need to wash up the bowl afterwards). Would that be a thing you could cope with from a sensory perspective? You could pop cling film or a plastic bag over the bowl of food in the fridge, or assign a tupperware with a lid to him (you'd probably throw it out at the end of the visit) and just take the lid off to feed him.

The other thing and the one I'd recommend the most is that they make freeze dried raw food for dogs these days, that are fed just like kibble. Like this: Nature’s Menu Freeze Dried Chicken Dog Food | Jollyes One of the reasons this product was developed was for dogs on raw diets going on holiday and owners not having to deal with the mess and the faff!

4 days is just about enough time (well, 3 days now) for his owner to buy some and transition him over to it so that he doesn't get an upset tummy. If you think you could cope with this version, offer that to her as an option asap so she can start transitioning him over to it tomorrow. If you're happy with the egg and the veg bits, say that to her, so that this only needs to replace the fresh meat bit temporarily (Although it doesn't need the veg and egg and other additives, it might be easier to "sell" to her and to keep his gut happy if you're happy to keep those going.

They even sell small bags so she can't complain about buying a big bag and having it go to waste if she wants to put him straight back on her original food. And if you do go with this plan, don't let her guilt you into buying the food, you're saving her literally hundreds of pounds by looking after him, the least she can do is jolly well make it a bearable experience for you!

That's guilting someone into doing something they really are not comfortable with. Bottom line - it's not her dog, not her responsibility. If owners that concerned about their dog, they don't go away.

Risks??

what would they be then??

OP YANBU don't you dare back down and say you will do it.

This is supposed to be your friend so I'm presuming she knows you are both veggy and autistic with sensory struggles.

She should not just spring this on you and expect you to be okay with it! 😡

We are an neurodivergent household, two out of three of us love pets. One out of three of us can stomach being in the same room as raw meat, pet food smells, etc. She's being very unreasonable and really selfish not considering how this would affect you.

I think you're probably being deliberately obtuse, but raw meat carries a greater risk of food poisoning than cooked.

Irrespective of the type of dog food and the dog grooming, they shouldn't burden you with the significant responsibility of 4 days of dog care (which is obviously going to be 24/7).

they should know that as a vegetarian, it's going to be really unpleasant for you to have to prepare raw dog food.

CFers. I would definitely back out of the arrangement, you aren't letting them down. I know many people dogsit for people's pets, but they shouldn't have a dog unless they can look after it all through the year without burdening other people with their care arrangements,

I don’t think you should have agreed to do it in the first place, even when you thought it would just be feeding him dried food. If you can’t cope with unexpected occurrences, unpleasant smells, textures etc you aren’t the right person to look after a dog, as they’re all things that can easily happen without warning with a dog.

Haha, oh yes, definitely have to weed a few very unreasonable people out! It's amazing how quickly you get a sixth sense for who's genuine and who's going to be a CF!

Wrong thread!

they should know that as a vegetarian, it's going to be really unpleasant for you to have to prepare raw dog food

To be fair, many vegetarians wouldn’t be in the least bit bothered by this. Being vegetarian really doesn’t automatically mean you’re disgusted by anything to do with meat. I know vegetarians who prepare meat for their kids, and my vegetarian sister had no problem preparing raw food for her dogs.

I do think they should have checked with the OP when things changed, because it’s more work and she obviously finds change/unpredictability really hard, but I don’t think they could necessarily be expected to know that she can’t see a packet of mince without heaving, or whatever.

I think it is actually her responsibility to let her yes mean yes. To follow through on what she agreed to do. She’s clearly looking for an out because looking after the dog no longer suits her. Really awful to leave her friend in that position.

I'm not being obtuse, deliberately or otherwise.how can dishing up raw meat to a dog be a risk to the OP?

That's nonsense. The owners changed the terms of the agreement so the 'yes' is no longer relevant. She agreed to feed the dog dry kibble, now it's a raw food diet. She agreed to have the dog stay at her home, now it's 'take the dog to the groomer'. You can't just change the terms of an agreement whenever you feel like it.

It's the owner's responsibility to ensure that the dog is properly cared for. A responsible owner would pay a professional, or at least ensure that the sitter was comfortable doing the things needed to be done.

Because of handling raw meat - both in the kitchen and because a dog who had germs from raw meat in the mouth/on their snout/coat could go on to spread them round the house and onto OP.

It's a tiny risk, but it's there. Therapy dogs aren't allowed to be fed raw diets due to the slight risk that they'll pass food poisoning on to clinically vulnerable clients, and I believe it's not recommended to have a raw fed dog in the house if you're pregnant or have a young baby, or immune-supressed person, for the same reason.

(I'm sorry for calling you obtuse if your question was genuine - the extra question marks caused me to assume you were spoiling for a fight with the other person!)

Extremely reasonable to say that this was not what you signed up for, and you'll only be opening tins of Chum and facilitating the odd walkie.

I've raw fed 8 years now and find it super easy but I use completes so I literally defrost and feed maybe throw an egg in occasionally none of what your friend is doing , it took me a while to get the hang of raw feeding expecting you to do it is unreasonable .
A raw diet without the meat isn't a raw diet and would likely make the dog unwell and they'd be starving veg is basically added as a filler it has little nutritional benefit.

It's no different to handling minced beef or chicken the usual hygiene applies I've been pregnant twice and had toddlers 3 times since I started raw feeding 8 years ago and no ones ever been ill meanwhile there has been multiple recalls of kibble due to salmonella plus the absolutely disgusting mess from the other end rather than the tiny none smelly ones from a raw fed dog

It’s not nonsense. She could say no to the dog grooming appointment and not derail the whole arrangement to have the dog. The argument on this raw food is ridiculous. I’ve been raw feeding my dog for 5 years and it’s no big deal and I don’t have a strong stomach for much. Op needs to get a grip and give her head a wobble.

Oh I've never heard that. It sounds like a minimal 'risk'

I've been vegetarian 35 years now, I don't buy it cook meat for others.

(I'm not autistic though). but as long as the meat was cut up, I'd be ok to mix it with Veg/eggs/oil or whatever to feed the dog. One I sit for has dried food with the occasional tin of sardines mixed in & another has frozen cubes of meat/fish mixed in.

Taking the dog to the groomers wouldn't bother me either, but if the attitude was 'expecting' not 'asking' they'd find themselves with me FAR less willing to dog sit!!

I stay at my friends. I find it MUCH easier!

(Definitely not being obtuse! Irrespective of the number of ??? )