To have let friend down last minute with dog sitting

[Rawfoodworries]

The arrangement was I’d dog sit for 4 days, dog has always been fed on dry dog food no issues and I wasn’t expected to do anything more than feed, walk, look after him. With a week to go I’ve just had a message explaining his new diet (raw!!! With all theses extra things eggs sweet potato vegetable and some kind of oil!) I can’t cope with that as I’m vegetarian and autistic and have issues around food smells!

There’s also a grooming appt ??! That I’m expected to take him to. I’ve said it’s not going to be possible for me to facilitate the raw feeding or the appointment. This has caused a massive issue as friend wasn’t prepared to back down so I’ve said ‘sorry you’ll have to make alternative arrangements’ AIBU ? It’s been arranged for months and I even saw them last week and nothing was mentioned then but apparently he’s been on this new diet for a while ??

That's not fair. OP is vegetarian and autistic and has sensory issues around food. You can't cure people of autism by wobbling their heads.

The dog's owners should have planned and prepared properly. They should have been 100% clear with OP what they needed. They are taking the piss and OP has every right to say no.

That's what I'd have thought! Hence my question 💁🏻‍♀️

I raw feed my dogs & would not expect a veggie friend to feed them. Anytime I’m away, I prepare each meal in a tub & labelled so it just needs lid off & tipped into a bowl. Any extras are in ready (including meds). Your friend is a CF to just expect you to store & prep raw meat & take to an appointment. I wouldn’t change my dogs food to dry for 4 days, but I wouldn’t assume a friend would do it. Please don’t feel guilty for saying no. They moved the goalposts, not you.

absolutely irrelevant if OP is vegetarian, has sensory issues, whatever.

”Can you pop in and give my dog kibble for a few days?”
”Sure!”
”Sorry, I meant, can you make sure my dog is fed with raw mince, and please mix into this a raw egg, olive oil, and please grate some vegetables and add those…”

surely the only answer is get to fuck?

all the people I have known who have most hated sight of raw meat have been meat eaters. I don’t like it but at least I don’t have to contemplate eating it!

I think you're both being unreasonable.

She can rebook the grooming, for heaven's sake, can't she? It's an ask too far to expect you to deal with that.

But I can't see what being vegetarian or autistic has to do with opening a packet and dropping the contents in a dish - you won't have to touch the food. As for the ethical side of it, what did you suppose the dry food is made of? It may be terrible rubbish but it ain't vegetarian.

That said, you're doing her a favour and if she's going to give you a hard time about it backing out is fair enough.

Yanbu, definitely not. Your friend is being very unfair.

It doesn't matter whether you can see it or not. The OP is categorically stating that she won't be able to cope with it.

Dry dog food usually smells less than fresh meat.

@allmymonkeys opening a packet and dropping the contents in a dish

OP said it has to be done fresh. I was imagining this means literally chopping up raw meat somehow?

(vegetarian and not a dog lover so my interpretation may be wildly wrong)

You can't cure people of autism by wobbling their heads.

😂

Nope, she’s unreasonable to change the details / expectations.

Unreasonable as she may struggle to find another sitter at short notice, if the dogs don’t have all the correct vaccines they can’t go to a boarder or kennels.

They are right in that changing the food back will likely upset the dogs stomach but it won’t hurt to give the dog a pre-made complete raw for a few days, missing fresh eggs etc wont hurt.

Yanbu.

its good to see you have already said no and have been sure in your self to be able to do that.

I wouldn’t do it either, no way! That’s a massive change to not ask you in advance about ESPECIALLY being a vegetarian!

Gosh you’ve no idea about autistic sensory issues …

I'm not autistic and I don't have sensory issues. I would not want to handle and prep raw meat. I'm vegetarian but even several meat eaters have said the same thing on this thread.

The fact that the kibble also contains meat is irrelevant - it's the smell, look and texture of the raw meat that is revolting.

It's also a massive imposition - the OP was asked to look after the dog without being informed about all the food prep changes.

If the OP doesn't feel comfortable storing and prepping raw meat in her house then she doesn't have to do it. The dog owner is not entitled to free dog care, she can always pay for a sitter like most pet owners do.

My thought was that maybe the dog owner could pay for a sitter to go to OPs house and feed the dog twice a day, if she can't find a full time sitter at short notice.

I came in to say that you were being unreasonable, but having actually read your post I see you most definitely aren't!

Our DDogs are raw fed, but on the odd occasions we do go away we always check whether the person looking after them is happy with raw food. If not then we stick them back on dry for a few days, exactly as we do if we take them away and don't have the ability to store frozen food.

I ago wouldn't dream of booking in a groomers appointment for someone else to deal with. The exception would be someone looking after them in an emergency when an appointment was already booked, when I would ask if it was convenient. If the person said no then I would cancel without a second thought.

Your friend sounds vaguely unhinged.

Hi @Rawfoodworries, your 'friend' is being totally unreasonable.

Years ago, we had a beautiful girl that we were lucky enough to get at about 11 months old through a rehoming centre. She gave us many years of unconditional love and loyalty, and I hope she would agree that we gave her the same. Very sadly, when she was just about 60 in human years, she got cancer. The vet didn't know how long she would survive for, but we already had 3 one week holidays booked through the upcoming year. We didn't cancel them straightaway, because as I said we didn't know whether our sweetest girl would still be alive, and If not, we knew that we would need the holidays to be able to spend some quite time trying to recover from her loss.

As it happens with the vet's care, and steroid tablets, and other pain killers, we were lucky enough that she did survive that first year, so we just rang the holiday resorts a day or two before each holiday to say we wouldn't be coming - they were already fully paid for, so the holiday venues didn't lose out at all. Under those circumstances (and I hope your friend would do the same if she ever had that happen to her dear dog), we couldn't leave our little girl for a week while knowing full well how much she would miss us, and us knowing how much we would miss her, especially when we had such a limited time left to be with her.

I suppose the point that I am trying to make is that sometimes as parents of children, or adopters of dogs, and any other animals, we may have to change plans, no matter much they were being looked forward to. In this instance, your friend might have to cancel her plans, but that is all down to her, and you shouldn't feel any guilt over it OP. What your friend should have done was leave changing her dog's diet for another 7 weeks, when she would have returned from wherever she was going. Failing that, she should have discussed with you whether you would be ok with the new diet for her dog before she actually changed it! The fact that she didn't do either of those things, means that again, all the fault lies with her. Please don't stress about it in the meantime OP. 💐

Utter bollocks and ableist.

Just do it and lob the meat in the bin and give the dog the other food. A kennels won't pander to this shit. Tell her that you won't do the groomers and she can take it or leave it.

One poster suggested the dog owner didn't put her dog in kennels because she loved the dog.

I always use kennels if going away. It doesn't mean I don't love my dogs! It's a cost I factor in when booking to go away. People's plans could change, and I prefer not to be beholding anyway.

Kennels would offer dog grooming, and any special food requirements. You'd have to pay a bit more, but better than losing a friend or putting friend in awkward position

op, I think yoir friend people has let you down. Picking up dog poo after raw food, eggs etc sounds grim as well. She has changed everything without discussion. It's her problem to fix.

Can’t she mix the meat veg and oil in a freezer bag, you simply tip it out and crack the egg on top fresh? Then you aren’t touching the meat and the dog gets a fresh egg (I’m laughing as I type this with how ridiculous it sounds).

The grooming appointment is ridiculous, she shouldn’t have expected that.

For the sake of four days I would suggest she preps his food in lidded plastic tubs complete with some chopped veg and puts half in the freezer that you can defrost the night before. If you can manage to crack an egg in a different bowl and remove the lid from a tub, job done.

She can pre-make the meals and leave them in the fridge or freezer so you don't have to touch it.

All this "can't do that, it has to have eggs and fresh veg each time" is a load of rubbish. She can leave those things out or substitute. That won't hurt the dog. Going back to kibble could cause a stomach upset, and just leaving the meat out wouldn't be very fair to the dog. They're omnivores and not supposed to eat veggie diets.

YANBU to back out if she won't pre-portion the food and rearrange the groomer.

YABU if you back out at the last minute without even having a conversation about it, though.

I think you’re being unfair. Don’t do the grooming but you could just feed the poor dog.

Your friend is being very inconsiderate. She should have waited until after the dog sitting to change the dog’s food. I’m a dog owner and would never expect a friend to do that. Also, the idea of raw food gives me the ick and I wouldn’t want to do that either! YANBU.

Surely it’s on the friend to show some flexibility? OP has a said she’ll have the dog, just not raw meat in the house. The friend said no and is unwilling to compromise. OP shouldn’t feel bad at all