To feel humiliated meeting DP’s best friend for the first time?

[Masiemaise]

I have been with DP for nearly a year but only
met his best friend (and his wife) for the first time last night, as they live a few hours away and had a baby around the time I met DP so haven’t been free to meet up.

We went to a restaurant followed by a couple of bars in the city they are from, so were all a bit tipsy. DP’s friends wife works in the NHS and was talking about some of the strangest things she has seen.

She mentioned people turning up at A&E with items lodged in their bum. DP’s friend commented along the lines of he doesn’t know what would posses anyone to do that sort of thing.

DP then turned to me and said ‘you should see what she’s like when she gets home from bottomless brunch with her friends’ and burst out laughing.

I pulled him up on it last night and again today but he doesn’t see the issue. He has given a half apology but said he was joking and didn’t mean anything by it, and his friend/wife will know it was a joke.

Am I being a bit OTT with my reaction? It felt so unnecessary

Yes it does, but I don't think we are on the same page.

You must be thick. He’s insinuating that when she’s drunk she’s up for extreme butt stuff.

This is just a silly, funny comment. He could have made it about anyone. He could have said it about his best friend when he gets back from the pub. I sincerely doubt they are genuinely wondering whether you stick random objects up your bum.

Are you feeling quite insecure compared to them in any way? Like are they better looking, richer, does something about their life trigger something in you? They have a baby and are married, you've been with your boyfriend nearly a year, are you on the same page about stuff or is it a bit sore hanging out with couples that have committed to each other?

Probably digging a bit too deep there but I do think it's worth really asking yourself, even if you don't share it with anyone else, why something like this would bother you.

But how he responds to you being upset about this is quite important at this stage in a relationship. It upset you, for whatever reason. A decent partner will listen, apologise for hurting your feelings, and agree not to say stuff like that again. How you manage conflict and little spats like this is important. I get why you brought it up again if he brushed it off last night. Pay attention.

Well he weren’t lying.. she admitted it 🤣🤣

Therein lies the problem 😆