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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
thistimelastweek · 20/09/2025 19:25

You were very generous

What the fuck was he expecting?

ItsOnlyHobnobs · 20/09/2025 19:25

How strange.

Is there any cultural expectation?

escape · 20/09/2025 19:26

Do you move in circles where 50 quid is the equivalent of 50p?
If not, that's an utterly unreasonable reaction to a bloody generous gift for someone you have never met or are related to. You are the guys 'mums boyfriends mate' for heavens sake!

Canopop · 20/09/2025 19:26

That’s more than I would have given I’m really confused are you sure you’re all not crazy rich?! It’s not your obligation to give an amazing gift to your best mates new girlfriend’s son? Lol

Namerequired · 20/09/2025 19:26

A bottle and £50 seems very generous for someone who you don’t know, and I know any of my boys would have been delighted by it. I think it was good of you to go to the party at all tbh.
What did your friend buy him with it being a new relationship?

user1471538275 · 20/09/2025 19:27

I would have got a card at best.

He is being incredibly rude and entitled.

TheGoodEnoughWife · 20/09/2025 19:28

That is completely bizarre!! £50 was very generous for a 21 yr old you don’t actually know! This would put me right off friend.

whataweekImhaving · 20/09/2025 19:29

50 quid (plus prosecco) is very generous.

Pancakeflipper · 20/09/2025 19:29

How does your friend know what you got the 21 yr old? Is it possible they saw only the processco and not the £50 ?

In my circles £50 for someone you've never met would be excessive.

KittyHigham · 20/09/2025 19:30

Eh? What circles does he move in? I'd have just taken the bottle of prosecco.
But the whole thing is odd. Why would this 21 year old invite his mother's new boyfriend's friend to his 21st?

Ponderingwindow · 20/09/2025 19:30

that is a level of cash at a birthday for a close family member to me. It’s not about the money exactly, I just don’t think gifts need to be extravagant. I only spend a lot of money if I am purchasing a specific item that I know the recipient will love.

Deebee90 · 20/09/2025 19:30

🤣🤣🤣 what did your best friend get him? He’d have got a card and maybe a £10 gift card from me.

Bitzee · 20/09/2025 19:31

Just the fizz and card was a nice, normal gesture for someone you don’t actually know… the £50 on top was really, really generous.

If this is long time best mate, and the GF is normally lovely is there any chance that your gift got mislaid or stolen and he thinks you turned up empty handed?? Even then he’s still rude because you don’t shame a guest and you don’t even the know the birthday boy but otherwise this makes no sense at all.

TomatoSandwiches · 20/09/2025 19:33

I wouldn't have even bloody gone let alone bought a bottle and £50.

Bitzee · 20/09/2025 19:33

Or could he be disappointed in you because it was excessive and showed up the close family… and you’ve got the wrong end of the stick?? IDK it just sounds so odd…

QueenClinomania · 20/09/2025 19:34

Fifty quid for someone you've never met is generous.
Your friend is a twat.

JMSA · 20/09/2025 19:34

Crikey. You were super kind.

AnneShirleyBlythe · 20/09/2025 19:35

Wow! Your friend is mental! Unless you are very rich that is a generous gift to a stranger! I would give similar to extended family!

Alittlefrustrated · 20/09/2025 19:36

He'd of got the fizz and card off me. I think you were mad to give him £50! You were very generous.
Your best friend was very rude - do you think he's got mixed up? Does he buy you extravagant presents? Not that that changes anything - you don't know this young man.

TheCosyViewer · 20/09/2025 19:37

I think that’s a perfect amount to give and would have given the same myself (and could afford to give more but wouldn’t see the need).

Notagain25 · 20/09/2025 19:37

Yes a bottle and a card is plenty.

ChaToilLeam · 20/09/2025 19:37

That's ridiculous of your friend, £50 is the kind of amount I would give to a family member or a godchild (we are not super well off). Definitely not a kid I have never met! You were extremely generous and he is a rude idiot.

DogsandFlowers · 20/09/2025 19:39

user1471538275 · 20/09/2025 19:27

I would have got a card at best.

He is being incredibly rude and entitled.

Same! Maybe an aldi £4.99 prosecco. I think £50 is VERY generous

Abominableday · 20/09/2025 19:39

Did they see the £50?

Bowling4soup · 20/09/2025 19:40

This can’t be real