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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
oldmoaner · 22/09/2025 12:31

I do wonder if people were only invited if he thought they're loaded so will give lots of money. Myself, bubbly and card, or card and £21 (£1 for each year if his life) £50 and gift would be for immediate family only. I'd ask your friend if the only reason you got invited was because he expected his GF son would be given £100 by someone that dosnt even know him. You can't buy true friends - remember that always.

IamtheDevilsAvocado · 22/09/2025 12:41

HellEvenDorisDay · 20/09/2025 22:26

Kindly, OP, do you struggle with friendships or social interactions? I only ask because giving £50 to a person 2 steps removed from your relationship, who you have never met before, when you aren’t particularly well off is a bit odd. It was too generous for the circumstances. And for your friend to berate you over it suggests an imbalance in your relationship. Do you try to please others too much or make more effort without reciprocation? It doesn’t sound like your friend respects you and you are questioning your judgement. I’d find it difficult to stay friends after this.

Quite honestly if I had someone to my birthday party, my mum's new boyfriend's FRIEND.... I wouldn't expect anything!! ... And would be grateful for a card and a bottle...

Do you think you were invited @YourWorthyBee as he'd beem talking his friends up as 'rolling' in it?? (not pleasant if he has!).

As others have said, I would only be giving this amount to a close relative /friend... Certainly not someone I hadn't met before!

RandomUserName96 · 22/09/2025 12:43

My son recently had a birthday, fancy sending him £50? I can promise we would be very grateful

But seriously, no YANBU. You were especially generous to have given £50 and prosecco. A card would have been acceptable for someone's son you have never met

RandomUserName96 · 22/09/2025 12:43

My son recently had a birthday, fancy sending him £50? I can promise we would be very grateful

But seriously, no YANBU. You were especially generous to have given £50 and prosecco. A card would have been acceptable for someone's son you have never met

Blueytwo · 23/09/2025 08:30

Whatever you gave (and you were v generous) it is not for your “friend” to comment. Absolutely none of his business what you choose to give. So rude

Inertia · 23/09/2025 08:34

Your friend is ridiculous.

T1Dmama · 24/09/2025 23:05

£50 and a bottle of plonk for someone you’ve never met before??
I think he’s a spoilt entitled brat and your best friend is weird!

LBFseBrom · 27/09/2025 02:24

I think he must have been joking.

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