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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Best friend has accused me of being stingy.

233 replies

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

OP posts:
Pelsall116 · 21/09/2025 18:29

Geez,thats a lot more than I would have given, what an entitled reaction by him

hoxtonbabe · 21/09/2025 18:38

My own kids don’t even get that😂🤔 he’s got some brass neck I give him that!

He also wouldn’t be my best friend for much longer if anyone had the audacity to tell me that.

viques · 21/09/2025 19:03

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 21:05

Hi, thanks for your support. He did know the amount because he said "£50? I think you could have given him a bit more." TBH I am devastated by his reaction as we have been besties for 30 years+. As I said, I'm not rolling in cash. My wife and I get by, but like most people we have to watch what we do. Thanks again people for supporting me and letting me know that it isn't me.

As a matter of interest what present did he come up with?

JustSawJohnny · 21/09/2025 19:12

50 quid is SO generous!!

Like, I'd say OTT, for a kid you don't even know.

I take it from your posts you're not exactly part of the Chelsea set so why would he expect you to part with a tonne of cash?

You need to have a conversation with him, I think.

His expectations are so out of whack.

Pinkacer · 21/09/2025 19:13

Are you sure they saw the 50 pounds?

PotatoLove · 21/09/2025 19:16

A bottle and fifty quid was more than generous, your friend sounds rude af.

TheFormidableMrsC · 21/09/2025 19:20

Jesus, it would have just been a bottle if it was for somebody I didn’t know. Your mate is bloody rude. It’s none of his business. You were more than generous.

Tuesdayschild50 · 21/09/2025 19:47

He'd of got £20 from me if I didn't even know him... bloody hell the cheek of him x

cheziebabe · 21/09/2025 19:52

she said it and as the dutiful boyfriend he is repeating it. thin end of the wedge. she wants to be his best friend not you. so she is laying a little dig knowing it'll get back to you and hurt. there will be more not necessarily repeated to you hut he will grow a bit more distant. let it happen. when he is free again maybe you'll want to know or maybe not. Just know what I've advised and keep it in mind. x

ThriveAT · 21/09/2025 20:30

Is this for real?

R0ckandHardPlace · 21/09/2025 20:30

I find it weird that a 21 year old is inviting his Mum’s new boyfriend’s friend to his party. Has he no friends?

But £50 is more than enough! Your friend is a dick.

Cornetti26 · 21/09/2025 20:36

This can't be real. Did you also have to put an explanation of who you were in the card? because if you have never met the boy and you only know him by name as being his mums new boyfreinds friend I'm sure he wouldn't have a clue who the gift was from by just putting your first name.

SassyCow · 21/09/2025 20:41

YANBU

I think you were very generous, especially as you haven't met him before.

PorridgeAndSyrup · 21/09/2025 20:44

Is there some sort of backstory where you're both from a really upper class background?? £50 is very generous. I get £20 on birthdays from my own grandmother - if I'm lucky enough to get anything more than a card. Among my closest mates, the prosecco alone would suffice as a birthday gift. £50 from someone you've never met would be almost embarrassingly generous.

SouthernBelle21 · 21/09/2025 20:56

Abominableday · 20/09/2025 19:39

Did they see the £50?

Who cares if they did or didn't? It's not to them to decide what OP should or shouldn't have given.

I went to a 21st this weekend of someone I didn't know (friend of the extended family were asked to make up numbers as the girl has autism and therefore barely any friends) - I got her a teddy with 21 on it, a card, and a box of chocs. It's a token, you don't know the person!

TeddySchnauzer · 21/09/2025 21:10

£50?!?! That’s incredibly generous! I didn’t even get that on my 21st from my own parents! Let alone from someone I’ve never met! Even the Prosecco was generous

Molko1503 · 21/09/2025 21:11

YourWorthyBee · 20/09/2025 19:23

My best friend left a relationship a year or so ago and got himself a new girlfriend a few months back. I am genuinely pleased for him as in his previous relationship he was cheated upon regularly but his new flame is really nice.
His new girlfriend has a son and it was recently his 21st. I was invited to the party. Having never met the boy before, I turned up with a bottle of prosecco and a card with £50 in it. My best friend told me that he was really disappointed in me and that I should have given more. I'm not exactly Jeff Bezos in terms of money and as I hadn't met the boy I thought I was doing good. AIBU?

Jeez Louise! I wouldn’t be spending that on nieces and nephews etc. I’d love to ofcourse but it’s just not possible. What an awful, rude, ungrateful friend.

you did more than what most people would have done in that situation. You definitely deserve an apology for being shamed - how bizarre! I’d be rethinking the friendship.

Xmasbaby11 · 21/09/2025 21:23

That's insane. Very generous of you! I'd have given just a bottle in your position.

JohnTheRevelator · 21/09/2025 21:27

Rude and entitled behaviour from your friend. I think a bottle of prosecco and £50 is extremely generous, considering you don't even know the recipient!

Kindling1970 · 21/09/2025 21:31

I’m so sorry your friend behaved like this. It’s appalling behaviour and I would be ending the friendship. It doesn’t sound like he really cares about you or your feelings. You did well to just turn up to the party.

Angryhag · 21/09/2025 21:32

What a fucking prick he sounds.

FunMustard · 21/09/2025 23:44

Only the most obnoxious of 21 year olds would be expecting anything close to £50 from a stranger. Which you are.

£20 would have been generous. Just the prosecco was generous. What is wrong with your friend?!

berightorbehappy · 21/09/2025 23:48

Is it possible the £50 was lost or overlooked ? Otherwise this is the weirdest thing l’ve heard in a long time ! Do you and your friends think £50 is small change ? It’s a huge amount for someone you don’t know !

Poodlelove · 22/09/2025 00:27

That is very very generous OP.
I was given £50 by my parent on my 50 th birthday.Thats the most i have ever had in a card in my life.

Hopingtobeaparent · 22/09/2025 12:30

thistimelastweek · 20/09/2025 19:25

You were very generous

What the fuck was he expecting?

This! I was thinking £20 might have been good! Yes, a special bday but you don’t know the kid, have no relationship with him, etc.. CF! Is this influenced by new GF? Maybe she’s not as nice as she seemed? 🤷‍♀️