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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it shocking how brazen people are with their hatred of refugees?

675 replies

GreenFairy93 · 20/09/2025 16:11

Another day, another Facebook post calling for the army to be bought in to stop the boats. Another comment section full of people shouting "sink the boats!" "Use as much force as necessary to stop them!"

There are women and children on these boats and people are brazenly calling for force to be used against them and for them to be sunk, with pictures of their faces next to their comments. Not an ounce of shame. And there's hundreds of them.

I just find it absolutely abhorrent and honestly, really upsetting that so many people have dehumanised asylum seekers to the point they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts to the point they are publicly calling for harm to come to families fleeing war.

AIBU to be shocked that people think this is ok now?

OP posts:
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15
Flo78 · 20/09/2025 19:12

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 19:05

Do you think any of the, say, Afghani men in the boats intend to wipe old people’s bums?

I have a lot of experience of care homes and NO men from there/Pakistan would do this. As I said earlier - sub-Saharan men yes.

And what when all the horrible old boomers have died? In 30 years they’ll nearly all be gone. The bums to be wiped will be far fewer.

Maybe he does not want to do care work, but maybe deliveroo driving.

That’s a perfectly valid job that is available for someone to do. Presumably you don’t want it. Neither do I.

Also, are you the one calling boomers horrible and old or do you think I am? Either way, that’s extremely offensive and derisive of you.

But we’re always going to need care workers. I don’t know what the world is going to look like in 100 years. I don’t know which countries will be on top. If fascism comes to us like it appears to be, the uk won’t be such a popular place - nor will young English people be so eager to stay.

TruckDiver · 20/09/2025 19:18

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:28

We have finite resources - of everything.

What makes you think we can keep adding people ad infenitum without the systems collapsing?

But we don't. This is the fundamental piece of economic illiteracy that is responsible for so much of the popular delusion on this subject.

The provision of public services is determined by both demand and supply. Demand is the number of people using them and how much; supply is the number of taxpayers paying for them, how much and where the government decides to direct that money.

So if you increase the number of people in a society working and paying tax, you increase the supply available for public services as well as the demand. There is nothing finite involved.

Now ideally, there would be a place for a nuanced discussion about how these factors play out in immigration policy (haha - "nuanced" and "immigration" in the same sentence!). For example certain groups of migrants (by country, or background) are a net drain.

But to say it's about something "finite" is simply wrong, and doesn't get us any closer to that.

Papyrophile · 20/09/2025 19:20

I do notice that my local city, where I go for the fish market a couple of times a month, has changed since it became a dispersal area. It was always fairly downmarket. We have always had exotic supermarkets, and I have always shopped in them for the ingredients Tesco doesn't sell. I don't think it is any less safe than it was, but doesn't feel as familiar. Janners are still the majority, but it might take time for the imports to adjust to the sense of humour, which is dry and fairly bleak.

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:26

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:41

If mass migration was an actual thing then yes but it’s not. The poverty you feel, the discomfort you feel is as a result of government and economic policy. Should you wish to vote for reform and further make your life miserable then go for it. Brexit didn’t really achieve anything did it ?

Migrants will go elsewhere, so will refugees. Higher tax payers as well as economic migrants won’t have issues moving to greener pastures. I mean it’s already happening.

Why are you directing this at me?

I don’t feel poverty or discomfort. I just don’t write off those experiencing the negative consequences of mass immigration as racist or bigoted. Because it’s not true.

Yamamm · 20/09/2025 19:31

They are building 1000 flats in my town. The blocks are huge. The disruption has been massive. It is changing the town.
The flats are lovely though. I have three young adults all working full time and living at home who can’t afford one.
Coincidentally 1000 people arrived from France on boats today.
So I can imagine what housing 1000 people looks like. And I feel stressed that that’s another 1000 people me and my children have to work to pay for and eventually house.
1000 people in one day utterly relying on support, housing, education, healthcare and legal aid is A LOT. Maybe not in the context of the population but definitely in the context of our ability to easily absorb them.

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:33

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:43

Not if British culture can be defined by the likes that attended the tommy march.

What is British culture?

Say no more.

I assume you’d be equally at home wherever you found yourself in the world…. Afghanistan, or Pakistan, or Eritrea. After all, people are all the same, aren’t they? What’s British culture anyway? Certainly nothing to do with the long history or values of the people who built it.

Palestine is for the Palestinians, yet Britain is for absolutely everybody who wants to come, and British people just have to accept it.

Does it look like they’re prepared to?

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:37

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:33

Say no more.

I assume you’d be equally at home wherever you found yourself in the world…. Afghanistan, or Pakistan, or Eritrea. After all, people are all the same, aren’t they? What’s British culture anyway? Certainly nothing to do with the long history or values of the people who built it.

Palestine is for the Palestinians, yet Britain is for absolutely everybody who wants to come, and British people just have to accept it.

Does it look like they’re prepared to?

What right do you have to define 'what' British culture is? I don't recognise these things as representing my culture, British culture isn't just what the extreme right say it is!

SirHumphreyRocks · 20/09/2025 19:39

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:47

I’m a higher rate tax payer. So is DP. Our taxes fund the services. I don’t discriminate between a person needing to access said services based on where they come from. Thankfully the system isn’t inhumane.

I do however take issue with swathes of brits who are economically inactive through choice and heavily dependant on benefits. They contribute nothing to society, they haven’t contributed to the system yet draw on those services.

And yet this is also you: "Let me guess, you’re white, middle class and judging by your age benefited greatly from the prosperous years now long gone. Of course you view the human rights act and equalities act useless due to your privileged background.
For others it has been used to defend the rights of disabled people, LGBTQ+ people, journalists, migrants, survivors of sexual assault, workers, children, grieving families, soldiers, and many more.
Undoing progress and setting us back as a society has always been a fetish for your age group. First it was Brexit and now it’s going to be reform."
https://www.mumsnet.com/talk/_chat/5413465-how-different-can-your-beliefs-be-and-remain-friends?page=4

So you spew hatred of older people who you claim are white, middle class and benefited from prosperous years - sitting in the comfort of two middle class prosperous people who discriminate against older people. And you judge others?

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:39

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:26

Why are you directing this at me?

I don’t feel poverty or discomfort. I just don’t write off those experiencing the negative consequences of mass immigration as racist or bigoted. Because it’s not true.

So you are living it up are you, like your crass description of the middle classes a few posts back?

Papyrophile · 20/09/2025 19:40

I am slightly reeling at reading the phrase "horrible old boomers". I can only presume that the author was hatched from an egg, as either their parents or grandparents were likely born between 1946 and 1963. Should those people be euthanised en masse so the poster can get her mitts on the inheritance sooner?

NuovaPilbeam · 20/09/2025 19:40

I think the issue is that most aren’t women and children asylum seekers fleeing war, but young adult men travelling alone as economic migrants.

Sadly its this

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:40

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:37

What right do you have to define 'what' British culture is? I don't recognise these things as representing my culture, British culture isn't just what the extreme right say it is!

I didn’t define it. You were the one asking what is even was.

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:41

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:39

So you are living it up are you, like your crass description of the middle classes a few posts back?

I didn’t say that either, did I? Goodness me 😄

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:42

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:47

No, I’m saying you don’t want the cookie if you have to wipe the bum of an old person with dementia to get it.

It’s a cookie that’s available to do a job we desperately need and you don’t want it. It’s not YOUR cookie. It’s an available cookie and they choose to earn it.

It is already MY cookie; I’ve done the shitty jobs and earned my cookie. They’ve come with no cookie, so by default any cookie they get comes from someone else.

giveitback · 20/09/2025 19:43

I think the media tries to herd us into one of two positions on this issue when in truth it’s much more nuanced.

For me, every human deserves to be treated with dignity and respect but that doesn’t also mean that if they arrive undocumented in the UK, that they should automatically be allowed to stay.

It’s possible to want humans to flourish but at the same time be concerned about the impact on local communities and of course the huge expense.

It’s possible to hold both of those views at the same time.

ForgetMeNotRose · 20/09/2025 19:43

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:42

It is already MY cookie; I’ve done the shitty jobs and earned my cookie. They’ve come with no cookie, so by default any cookie they get comes from someone else.

Oh bloody hell it's cookiegate

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:44

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:40

I didn’t define it. You were the one asking what is even was.

I can be inferred from your lazy stereotyping I'm afraid.

Pigeonpoodle · 20/09/2025 19:44

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:41

If mass migration was an actual thing then yes but it’s not. The poverty you feel, the discomfort you feel is as a result of government and economic policy. Should you wish to vote for reform and further make your life miserable then go for it. Brexit didn’t really achieve anything did it ?

Migrants will go elsewhere, so will refugees. Higher tax payers as well as economic migrants won’t have issues moving to greener pastures. I mean it’s already happening.

Net migration to the UK has exceeded 2
million since 2021. That’s equivalent to 6 Coventrys or 4 Sheffields (Yes, I appreciate most of that is legal.)… so to say there hasn’t been mass migration is utterly delusional.

Your dismissive attitude is ironically going to be a major contributor to Reform winning. It’s completely counterproductive.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:46

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:47

I’m a higher rate tax payer. So is DP. Our taxes fund the services. I don’t discriminate between a person needing to access said services based on where they come from. Thankfully the system isn’t inhumane.

I do however take issue with swathes of brits who are economically inactive through choice and heavily dependant on benefits. They contribute nothing to society, they haven’t contributed to the system yet draw on those services.

What about those who come here and are economically inactive, like the vast majority of women and a large proportion of the men? Is it okay for them to decide to be heavily dependent on benefits and not contribute, just because they say they've had a bit of a bad time of it at home?

You seem to be very disparaging of Brits but supportive of foreigners, which is an unusual stance, especially given that we absolutely know that the majority of the men are coming from cultures which don’t see women as equals. Are you an immigrant man?

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:48

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:49

I live very near to one and they've not caused a single bit of trouble in the 2-3 years they've been housed there.

You got a good batch. The residents near the Bell in Epping may have a different experience.

JaneEyre40 · 20/09/2025 19:49

RealPerson · 20/09/2025 16:57

Strange was watching something on the tv questioning the SNP about migrants and they said something like they are good for the economy. It got me thinking like is part of that going to enable people not to work because migrants will pay taxes ?

The irony 🙄

Immigrants do make Britain great, not sure how anyone can think otherwise.

JMSA · 20/09/2025 19:51

A refugee recently told me he felt safer in Afghanistan than he does the ‘rough’ area of my city where now lives.

ForgetMeNotRose · 20/09/2025 19:51

Look guys, I don't have a big cookie. As far as I'm concerned, even if I had no cookies I should be entitled to some basic things in England - a roof over my head, access to healthcare, some help to feed me and my family if I need it, ideally opportunities to work in order to do that. Those are the things I need, regardless of my cookie. But those things need cookies to run. This is where those conveyer belts come in. The cookies are going up to the jars but not coming back down into the things I need. The guy who also has no cookie isn't the cause of that.

SirHumphreyRocks · 20/09/2025 19:52

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:48

You got a good batch. The residents near the Bell in Epping may have a different experience.

So you judge everyone based on one person? Should all British people be considered racist, misogynistic violent thugs and criminals because that's what Tommy Robinson is?

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 19:52

Goldenbear · 20/09/2025 19:44

I can be inferred from your lazy stereotyping I'm afraid.

Doing an excellent job yourself there!

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