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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it shocking how brazen people are with their hatred of refugees?

675 replies

GreenFairy93 · 20/09/2025 16:11

Another day, another Facebook post calling for the army to be bought in to stop the boats. Another comment section full of people shouting "sink the boats!" "Use as much force as necessary to stop them!"

There are women and children on these boats and people are brazenly calling for force to be used against them and for them to be sunk, with pictures of their faces next to their comments. Not an ounce of shame. And there's hundreds of them.

I just find it absolutely abhorrent and honestly, really upsetting that so many people have dehumanised asylum seekers to the point they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts to the point they are publicly calling for harm to come to families fleeing war.

AIBU to be shocked that people think this is ok now?

OP posts:
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Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:47

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:44

So you admit that sone are economic migrants, lying to come and take a bit of our cookie?

No, I’m saying you don’t want the cookie if you have to wipe the bum of an old person with dementia to get it.

It’s a cookie that’s available to do a job we desperately need and you don’t want it. It’s not YOUR cookie. It’s an available cookie and they choose to earn it.

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:47

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:40

Do you think more people drawing on services, who have never contributed to those services and are not likely to but arrive and are given free access, makes the situation better for anybody at all (other than those in the flourishing immigration business)?

I’m a higher rate tax payer. So is DP. Our taxes fund the services. I don’t discriminate between a person needing to access said services based on where they come from. Thankfully the system isn’t inhumane.

I do however take issue with swathes of brits who are economically inactive through choice and heavily dependant on benefits. They contribute nothing to society, they haven’t contributed to the system yet draw on those services.

TruckDiver · 20/09/2025 18:48

Nowherefast4 · 20/09/2025 18:12

People talk about an asylum ‘crisis’ like the sky is falling, but the numbers don’t back it up. In March 2025, 106,000 people were in asylum support, down from 124,000 less than two years ago. Most are in ordinary housing across the country. Some towns feel pressure, but that is because austerity has starved local councils of resources, not because refugees are flooding in. The real crisis is underfunded services, not people seeking safety.

Gosh, you mean the media stories people get their daily dose of hatred stimulation from are not just dispassionate and reasonable reports of the facts?

I'm shocked. Shocked I tell you.

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:49

MidnightPatrol · 20/09/2025 18:47

And - I suppose the follow on question is, given these people have arrived illegally and so broken the law - are they allowed to just wander freely around the country (which is, I believe, what is happening).

I don’t think I’d be too thrilled either to find a local hotel had 200 recently arrived 18-30 year old blokes with no income and nothing to do living in it.

I live very near to one and they've not caused a single bit of trouble in the 2-3 years they've been housed there.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:49

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:24

Happy to swap them, 1 in 1 out, for those people that attended the tommy robinson march.

There's plenty of white British men who have prehistoric views towards women too.

So you're saying your preference is for men who are definitely criminals and statistically more likely to have medieval views on women and equality, than men who are here legally. Not sure your moral compass hasn’t been dropped somewhere…

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 18:49

Off topic but actually I would make Deliveroo/Just Eat illegal. Encouraging laziness and feeding your face. I notice adverts don’t sell the service as being handy for disabled people, but as a “peckish - must eat junk” fun activity 😡

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:50

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:46

Most of those deliveroo jobs didn’t exist until they were invented to allow somebody to profit from illegal immigrants.

I use deliveroo constantly and I appreciate that someone will deliver my Indian food to me!

So you’re saying… it’s an invented job that shouldn’t exist? Who is going to deliver people’s takeaways then? Or are you saying that they shouldn’t have takeaways so we would have less immigrants?!!

Tiredofwhataboutery · 20/09/2025 18:51

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 17:05

It constantly shocks me that humans aren’t treated with humanity.

If the people who hates the “migrants” needed refuge, they’d expect it and be shocked not to be welcomed - they’d be shocked to be resented, in fact.

No country “belongs” to anyone. If another human needs help, even if that’s economic help as they can’t get work to support their family where they came from, they should come somewhere safe and get help.

Anyway, above are the people who you’re shocked have these opinions! But this is Mumsnet after all. One glance at the “feminism” board or even the threads about Charlie Kirk show you how lots of users of this site really think.

I cannot understand why the people who resent those who have nothing and are arriving on boats don’t resent billionaires instead. They’re the ones hogging all the resources.

Around 10% of the worlds population is malnourished. Is there anything less humane than not being able to feed yourself or your children?

I don’t think the answer to the worlds crises’ is to let a number of self selected men off boats and support them at a cost of billions of pounds tbh.

It’d be better to provide aid where they are surely where the money would go further. So you can feed / house 1 migrant in the UK but for the same money you could support a couple of hundred Sudanese migrants in Chad.

Theunamedcat · 20/09/2025 18:51

ilovesooty · 20/09/2025 18:33

No one expects us to. We take fewer refugees than many other countries. It's a global situation.

We are a small fucking island you really expect us to take the same as everyone else?

RoseGlass7 · 20/09/2025 18:51

I think the problem is the tories and now labour's unwillingness to stop the boats.

It is inept goverments that they are angry with I think, rather than economic migrants.

Theunamedcat · 20/09/2025 18:52

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 18:49

Off topic but actually I would make Deliveroo/Just Eat illegal. Encouraging laziness and feeding your face. I notice adverts don’t sell the service as being handy for disabled people, but as a “peckish - must eat junk” fun activity 😡

Because what? Our country needs more unemployed people?

MidnightPatrol · 20/09/2025 18:54

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:49

I live very near to one and they've not caused a single bit of trouble in the 2-3 years they've been housed there.

Good to hear.

I used to live next to a hostel for men and it was a problem. Disproportionate amount of crime. Hanging around all the time, would shout at you and follow you home etc.

Like all these things - it’s down to individuals. I think if people thought there was a good vetting process they might be more comfortable - I’m not sure how you’d achieve that given they’re not from the UK/Europe and so their histories traceable.

coxesorangepippin · 20/09/2025 18:55

Why would I have sympathy for these people when there are already millions of disaffected people in this country already?

Ponderingwindow · 20/09/2025 18:56

Is it really so hard to understand why people are angry? They are scared. If we were doing a better job taking care of everyone in society, they wouldn’t need to feel like their scant resources were being threatened.

Nowherefast4 · 20/09/2025 18:56

It's not virtue signalling to say that you are OK with refugees, you know? It's a valid opinion. I feel rather strongly the so-called "crisis" (which is trotted out every few years) is a tactic to stir up hate and detract from the real issues. I know times are tough - I get it. But, what accounts to what is a tiny, tiny percentage of the UK population, is not what's causing people's finacial hardship. Immigrants are not what's causing slow NHS waiting times and bills to rise. They are being used as cannon fodder. It's propaganda and hate-mongering.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:58

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:26

People do die, you know. It’s not an overflowing extra 106,000 people every year. There’s a declining birth rate in the UK and about 650,000 people die.

So 650,000 people die here each year, and fewer babies are born year on year. It was a record low birth rate in 2024.

106,000 people coming isn’t the crisis that your Farrage-esq people want you to think it is.

106k are just the asylum seekers; we also have several hundred thousand legal immigrants arriving who need housing, services, etc. Don't forget that each asylum seekers will also try to bring family over, which puts huge strain on public services and is one of the reasons the government has recently suspended family reunification routes.

ForgetMeNotRose · 20/09/2025 18:58

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 17:59

Using that analogy, it’s the people with plenty of cookies pretending not to understand why the man with a few crumbs doesn’t want to share with a total stranger when he has a family to feed with those crumbs.

And mocking and insulting him, hoping that he’ll eventually shut up and hand over his crumbs.

Edited

I know you think that, but it's bollocks. I went to state school with the highest number of spoken languages of any school in the country.

Anyway, you're both ruining my cookie story.

If Cookies McCookiebags wasn't designing his cookie systems as a conveyer belts to his own cookie jars, we'd have enough cookies for ourselves. He's the cookie thief bastard. He wants them all!

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:58

Tiredofwhataboutery · 20/09/2025 18:51

Around 10% of the worlds population is malnourished. Is there anything less humane than not being able to feed yourself or your children?

I don’t think the answer to the worlds crises’ is to let a number of self selected men off boats and support them at a cost of billions of pounds tbh.

It’d be better to provide aid where they are surely where the money would go further. So you can feed / house 1 migrant in the UK but for the same money you could support a couple of hundred Sudanese migrants in Chad.

Sure but that isn’t happening, is it?

And if you, as an individual, were in this position, would you wait for foreign aid that isn’t coming, or decide that you have to try and save yourself?

Puzzledandpissedoff · 20/09/2025 19:01

Homewardbanned · 20/09/2025 17:22

The high number of those granted does not prove they are legitimate asylum seekers. Only that some are. Some will have been coached in reasons they can use to gain asylum by the traffickers including homosexuality and conversion to Christianity which they would be persecuted for. Others will lie and their story will be untrue but unable to be disproven. Having worked as a foster carer who had a high proportion of men claiming to be children on our books countrywide I am very cynical about the system.

Very true, Homewardbanned, but you left out the "amnesties" which have been granted to failed asylum seekers in order to reduce backlogs ... over a quarter of a million since 1993 apparently

Also this piece is from 2011, the latest comprehensive numbers I can find, and I wouldn't like to say how many more there have been since then

https://www.migrationwatchuk.org/briefing-paper/233/a-quarter-of-a-million-failed-asylum-seekers-granted-amnesty-since-the-early-1990s

CharlieKirkRIP · 20/09/2025 19:01

A refugee is someone seeking asylum because of persecution in their home country.

How many arriving in dinghies illegally are genuine refugees and how many are economic migrants who could have stayed in France who offer education, housing, clothes and an allowance?

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 19:04

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:45

Who here has advocated for UNLIMITED migration? Nobody!

If you wanted to move to France or Australia, you probably couldn’t without a bunch of loopholes to jump through.

Of course we can’t just free flow all over the world.

What we’re saying is, these are desperate people COMING OVER ON BOATS and they should be treated like human beings and they are not the problem with this country.

Also, can everyone stop with xenophobia and talking about “their values”, as if this country isn’t full of (white) misogyny and (white) hatred? Humans are humans.

You’re right, we have enough misogynists here already. We don't need to import more.

Nowherefast4 · 20/09/2025 19:04

CharlieKirkRIP · 20/09/2025 19:01

A refugee is someone seeking asylum because of persecution in their home country.

How many arriving in dinghies illegally are genuine refugees and how many are economic migrants who could have stayed in France who offer education, housing, clothes and an allowance?

I don't know. Do you, or is this a rhetorical question?

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 19:05

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:47

No, I’m saying you don’t want the cookie if you have to wipe the bum of an old person with dementia to get it.

It’s a cookie that’s available to do a job we desperately need and you don’t want it. It’s not YOUR cookie. It’s an available cookie and they choose to earn it.

Do you think any of the, say, Afghani men in the boats intend to wipe old people’s bums?

I have a lot of experience of care homes and NO men from there/Pakistan would do this. As I said earlier - sub-Saharan men yes.

And what when all the horrible old boomers have died? In 30 years they’ll nearly all be gone. The bums to be wiped will be far fewer.

2dogsandabudgie · 20/09/2025 19:05

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:31

We aren’t.

And each year, fewer babies are born in the uk, and people die.

It’s FINE. But the blame on the collapse of the NHS, poor schools, etc, where it should be put, not on the very small number of migrants who come each year.

Stop reading the Daily Hate Mail or the Sun or the Telepgraph and stop following all the Farrage-ys. They’re lying. I promise - they are lying to you.

They aren't all refugees, they are economic migrants as well. Over 1000 made the journey yesterday. Over 1000 people who need accommodation found for them immediately. How can you say that amount of people in one day doesn't have an effect on local resources.

I was listening to a radio phone in and there was a single mother with one child who had been evicted from her home by her landlord. Not her fault, he wanted to sell the house. The council placed her in a shared house in London with her child with 15 other people, with one kitchen and two toilets and one bathroom between them all. She had to pay £800 a month rent for one room. The council said she earned too much to receive UC or housing benefit. She was having to pay the Ulez charge daily which was putting her in debt. She was struggling and was in tears because she couldn't even afford milk until pay day.

There are so many people like this poor lady who must be feeling as though no one cares and you think the answer is for more immigration.

Nowherefast4 · 20/09/2025 19:07

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 19:05

Do you think any of the, say, Afghani men in the boats intend to wipe old people’s bums?

I have a lot of experience of care homes and NO men from there/Pakistan would do this. As I said earlier - sub-Saharan men yes.

And what when all the horrible old boomers have died? In 30 years they’ll nearly all be gone. The bums to be wiped will be far fewer.

You can't generalise an entire race or nation based on your experience of working in care homes.

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