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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

To find it shocking how brazen people are with their hatred of refugees?

675 replies

GreenFairy93 · 20/09/2025 16:11

Another day, another Facebook post calling for the army to be bought in to stop the boats. Another comment section full of people shouting "sink the boats!" "Use as much force as necessary to stop them!"

There are women and children on these boats and people are brazenly calling for force to be used against them and for them to be sunk, with pictures of their faces next to their comments. Not an ounce of shame. And there's hundreds of them.

I just find it absolutely abhorrent and honestly, really upsetting that so many people have dehumanised asylum seekers to the point they have absolutely no compassion in their hearts to the point they are publicly calling for harm to come to families fleeing war.

AIBU to be shocked that people think this is ok now?

OP posts:
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15
Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:31

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:28

We have finite resources - of everything.

What makes you think we can keep adding people ad infenitum without the systems collapsing?

We aren’t.

And each year, fewer babies are born in the uk, and people die.

It’s FINE. But the blame on the collapse of the NHS, poor schools, etc, where it should be put, not on the very small number of migrants who come each year.

Stop reading the Daily Hate Mail or the Sun or the Telepgraph and stop following all the Farrage-ys. They’re lying. I promise - they are lying to you.

ilovesooty · 20/09/2025 18:33

user1471538275 · 20/09/2025 18:13

@BluntPlumHam Yes, they are the reason for increasing poverty. When you divide an ever decreasing pie amongst more people then people get less.

Half the world could claim asylum in the UK if they could get here.

We cannot take half the world.

No one expects us to. We take fewer refugees than many other countries. It's a global situation.

Morningsleepin · 20/09/2025 18:33

MidnightPatrol · 20/09/2025 16:16

I think the issue is that most aren’t women and children asylum seekers fleeing war, but young adult men travelling alone as economic migrants.

People typically have empathy for the former, not so much for the latter.

I started adult life as an economic migrant and some of my best friends are males. Neither condition merits a death penalty

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:34

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:29

So the answer to the UK’s declining population is to bring in large numbers of immigrants. And that’s a good thing, as opposed to making it easier for British people to have families and children of their own?

Why not?

ginasevern · 20/09/2025 18:35

@Nowherefast4
"106,000 people came to the UK as of March 2025 seeking asylum. That's not half the world."

Yes and that figure was indeed to March this year. You're implying that this is the total amount since records began. The figure was 108,138 in 2024, 84,000 in 2023 and 89,398 in 2022 and so on. The figures are increasing by roughly 17% each year and the vast majority of those claming asylum are single men.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:35

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:09

Of course. I don’t disagree with you there.

Glad we could find some common ground ☺️

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:36

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:31

We aren’t.

And each year, fewer babies are born in the uk, and people die.

It’s FINE. But the blame on the collapse of the NHS, poor schools, etc, where it should be put, not on the very small number of migrants who come each year.

Stop reading the Daily Hate Mail or the Sun or the Telepgraph and stop following all the Farrage-ys. They’re lying. I promise - they are lying to you.

You want me to believe you, when you describe the numbers coming in as ‘very small’? No one can take you seriously when you say such obviously untrue things.

You make no comment on the very different social and cultural values these new arrivals hold? Is that fine too? How are those differences to be resolved? Is it working well at the moment, do you think, looking at the social unrest going on?

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 18:36

Not one pro poster ever will say what they find an acceptable number of arrivals.

Unlimited immigration would result in camps and slums - we cannot build millions of new homes every year. There is not enough low-level “male acceptable” work, they are just not going to be care workers (sub-Saharan men excepted - they work in care). The womenfolk have poor language skills and are not expected to work (or do much) outside the domestic sphere - they are net users. Plus daughters are not “moving on up” (unlike Indian/Chinese background immigrants). They are encouraged (made) to marry men from “home” (money changes hands) and the cycle of first-generation immigrants continues.

I suppose this is all highly acceptable to some people. But wittering that we should embrace all these NHS workers is nuts.

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:37

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:29

So the answer to the UK’s declining population is to bring in large numbers of immigrants. And that’s a good thing, as opposed to making it easier for British people to have families and children of their own?

People aren’t having fewer babies because migrants are stealing jobs.

It’s a modern change - women don’t feel tied to homemaking; they have more ambition than being a mother of many; young people I know are less keen because of climate change.

I live in London and primary schools are closing.

I think that women are now having 1.4 babies instead of 2.4? I actually haven’t checked that exactly so I might be wrong. I think we need to be having 2.1 to maintain a consistent population (again - need to check myself).

Also, some countries do need migrants to come because they have an ageing population and no one to take care of them. See: Italy.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:37

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:11

But are the refugees the cause of your poverty ?

If not the cause, they are a definite contributor. The billions which are spent on asylum claims, legal assistance, accommodation, subsistence and then ongoing benefits, could be spent on those already here and in need, or on the NHS, education, infrastructure or thousands of other things.

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:38

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:34

Why not?

So British people, and British culture as it now stands, will cease to exist? Strange that you don’t see that as something to preserve, or defend.

TruckDiver · 20/09/2025 18:38

ilovesooty · 20/09/2025 17:09

Some of the local business owners on my local Next Door site are the same. Perhaps they think their behaviour enhances their business profile.

Ooh maybe you haven't heard: People are only driven to support inhuman racist violence because they're "left behind" and "downtrodden" and "have no power or status in society".

That must be why business owners are doing it.

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 20/09/2025 18:38

SirHumphreyRocks · 20/09/2025 17:13

Since most of them (65%) are granted asylum, then oddly, they do appear to be asylum seekers. War is not the only reason to seek asylum either.

There is pretty much a manual that lets people know the boxes to tick which a govenment funded charity is distributing. It doesn't say to game the system but it does outline what are legitimate reasons for asylum claims and thereby gives the "good" answers away.

Come from a country where it's illegal to be gay - say you're gay, and you're in
Come from a country where religious persecution exists - say you're religious.
Come from a country where political persecution exists - say you're a rebel.
Come from a country where there's not much persecution - drop your papers in the channel and say you're from a different country.
Can't find any good reasons - say you're 14 and big for your age

Don't get me wrong. I understand why economic migrants might game the system to qualify as asylum seekers.

But it means I massively distrust the 65% figure that you quote as being a genuine indicator of the true breakdown of asylum seekers (who were presumably safe in France) and the economic migrants.

ilovesooty · 20/09/2025 18:40

TruckDiver · 20/09/2025 18:38

Ooh maybe you haven't heard: People are only driven to support inhuman racist violence because they're "left behind" and "downtrodden" and "have no power or status in society".

That must be why business owners are doing it.

They seemingly think people will still support their businesses. I certainly wouldn't and a lot of people I know wouldn't either.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:40

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:14

They don’t want to comprehend this.

Do you think more people drawing on services, who have never contributed to those services and are not likely to but arrive and are given free access, makes the situation better for anybody at all (other than those in the flourishing immigration business)?

BluntPlumHam · 20/09/2025 18:41

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:26

The public have wanted an end to mass immigration for over twenty years. No one has listened.

The Tories won’t change direction. Labour won’t change direction. Who else is left but Reform?

What other democratic means do people have left to express their concerns and have them taken seriously?

If mass migration was an actual thing then yes but it’s not. The poverty you feel, the discomfort you feel is as a result of government and economic policy. Should you wish to vote for reform and further make your life miserable then go for it. Brexit didn’t really achieve anything did it ?

Migrants will go elsewhere, so will refugees. Higher tax payers as well as economic migrants won’t have issues moving to greener pastures. I mean it’s already happening.

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:41

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:36

You want me to believe you, when you describe the numbers coming in as ‘very small’? No one can take you seriously when you say such obviously untrue things.

You make no comment on the very different social and cultural values these new arrivals hold? Is that fine too? How are those differences to be resolved? Is it working well at the moment, do you think, looking at the social unrest going on?

You don’t think 106,000 people is small? The uk population right now is 69 MILLION. That’s 0.15%.

The social unrest I see is from the Tommy Robinson brigade, not people from other countries. I live in London. I am surrounded by people from other cultures.

The only yucky people in my city I see are the louts who sing “get your tits out for the lads” when on racist marches.

Buxusmortus · 20/09/2025 18:42

MidnightPatrol · 20/09/2025 16:16

I think the issue is that most aren’t women and children asylum seekers fleeing war, but young adult men travelling alone as economic migrants.

People typically have empathy for the former, not so much for the latter.

Got it in one.
Most people have every sympathy for people fleeing war or persecution, as can be seen by how the Ukrainians were welcomed to Britain. Economic migrants who come through the correct channels and have skills which are needed in Britain are generally welcomed.
People who come in illegally on boats because they fancy life in Britain, not the same.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:43

Nowherefast4 · 20/09/2025 18:15

106,000 people came to the UK as of March 2025 seeking asylum. That's not half the world.

Over 1000 men arrived here yesterday. Where would you like to put them, and how do you propose to support them without taking from people already here, many of whom are already poor?

LittleYellowQueen · 20/09/2025 18:43

smallpinecone · 20/09/2025 18:38

So British people, and British culture as it now stands, will cease to exist? Strange that you don’t see that as something to preserve, or defend.

Not if British culture can be defined by the likes that attended the tommy march.

What is British culture?

TruckDiver · 20/09/2025 18:44

SirHumphreyRocks · 20/09/2025 17:43

Well perhaps a statistic that would be interesting to see would be the percentage of all those mostly white men demonstrating against immigration who are on benefits and wouldn't take a job if it were offrered on a platter? We already know that white racist men have a very high propensity towards domestic violence and abuse. I would lay bets they also have a high propensity towards sitting around on benefuts because they are too bloody good for working.

I wonder what they are protecting "us" from - strangers or themselves?

Here's a statistic for you: 40% of those arrested in the summer 2024 riots had previous convictions for domestic violence.

It's not so much about protecting women and girls from violence, as making sure they can corner the market.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:44

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:20

Okay so you’re a human person right? And let’s say you can’t work in your country so you’re hungry, you can’t get healthcare, there’s no real hope. But there are opportunities somewhere else. You have to risk your life to get there, but it’s hopeless where you are. Many around you won’t. But you think: I can’t stay this way. I have to try. This is my one life.

So you risk your life to get somewhere. You are met with angry racists at every turn. You just want to work and create a better life for your own children.

Plus where I live, it ain’t white British people who want to be deliveroo drivers or cleaners or even builders or care workers. When immigration is “cracked down on”, the white British aren’t clambering for those jobs and those jobs aren’t filled.

They’re not stealing YOUR cookie, PP. They’re earning the cookie you’re not interested in doing the hard and often unpleasant labour to get.

So you admit that sone are economic migrants, lying to come and take a bit of our cookie?

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:45

MaturingCheeseball · 20/09/2025 18:36

Not one pro poster ever will say what they find an acceptable number of arrivals.

Unlimited immigration would result in camps and slums - we cannot build millions of new homes every year. There is not enough low-level “male acceptable” work, they are just not going to be care workers (sub-Saharan men excepted - they work in care). The womenfolk have poor language skills and are not expected to work (or do much) outside the domestic sphere - they are net users. Plus daughters are not “moving on up” (unlike Indian/Chinese background immigrants). They are encouraged (made) to marry men from “home” (money changes hands) and the cycle of first-generation immigrants continues.

I suppose this is all highly acceptable to some people. But wittering that we should embrace all these NHS workers is nuts.

Who here has advocated for UNLIMITED migration? Nobody!

If you wanted to move to France or Australia, you probably couldn’t without a bunch of loopholes to jump through.

Of course we can’t just free flow all over the world.

What we’re saying is, these are desperate people COMING OVER ON BOATS and they should be treated like human beings and they are not the problem with this country.

Also, can everyone stop with xenophobia and talking about “their values”, as if this country isn’t full of (white) misogyny and (white) hatred? Humans are humans.

usernamealreadytaken · 20/09/2025 18:46

Flo78 · 20/09/2025 18:20

Okay so you’re a human person right? And let’s say you can’t work in your country so you’re hungry, you can’t get healthcare, there’s no real hope. But there are opportunities somewhere else. You have to risk your life to get there, but it’s hopeless where you are. Many around you won’t. But you think: I can’t stay this way. I have to try. This is my one life.

So you risk your life to get somewhere. You are met with angry racists at every turn. You just want to work and create a better life for your own children.

Plus where I live, it ain’t white British people who want to be deliveroo drivers or cleaners or even builders or care workers. When immigration is “cracked down on”, the white British aren’t clambering for those jobs and those jobs aren’t filled.

They’re not stealing YOUR cookie, PP. They’re earning the cookie you’re not interested in doing the hard and often unpleasant labour to get.

Most of those deliveroo jobs didn’t exist until they were invented to allow somebody to profit from illegal immigrants.

MidnightPatrol · 20/09/2025 18:47

Buxusmortus · 20/09/2025 18:42

Got it in one.
Most people have every sympathy for people fleeing war or persecution, as can be seen by how the Ukrainians were welcomed to Britain. Economic migrants who come through the correct channels and have skills which are needed in Britain are generally welcomed.
People who come in illegally on boats because they fancy life in Britain, not the same.

And - I suppose the follow on question is, given these people have arrived illegally and so broken the law - are they allowed to just wander freely around the country (which is, I believe, what is happening).

I don’t think I’d be too thrilled either to find a local hotel had 200 recently arrived 18-30 year old blokes with no income and nothing to do living in it.