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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

683 replies

Piratecatcher · 16/09/2025 19:59

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

OP posts:
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Shortdaysalready · 16/09/2025 20:02

No you aren't being selfish OP.

And it sounds as though your attitude to his lone holidays has always been very reasonable and accommodating. But 6 weeks is taking the piss.

suffedpeppers · 16/09/2025 20:03

My husband went to Himalayas for 6 weeks and I really didn’t mind at all.
The Camino is an amazing experience and many people go solo .
My friend did it about this time last year and really got a lot of positive energy from the experience.

girljulian · 16/09/2025 20:03

Why don’t you want him to go?

My dad when he retired did an 8 week cycling tour of France. We tracked him on Life 360 and he had the time of his life. I’m so glad my mother didn’t object because he developed MND shortly afterwards and now he can’t walk.

BadActingParsley · 16/09/2025 20:06

I’d happily say yes to this and would hope my DH would if I wanted to. I’d miss him but if it was something he really wanted to do…

PicaK · 16/09/2025 20:07

That's an amazing trip. 6 weeks out of 52 doesn't really sound too bad. Surely you can fly out mid way through and then meet him at the end.
You sound a bit set in your ways. He wants to travel and explore - I'd let him.

CountryQueen · 16/09/2025 20:07

He can’t do it with you, if he could then I’m sure he would.

Id be so upset if my husband of decades ruined my chances of fulfilling a dream for the sake of 6 weeks in front of the bloody telly.

Give your head a wobble and find someone to go away with for the middle 2 weeks maybe?

museumum · 16/09/2025 20:07

Is he retired? If so I would miss my husband but understand this is something he really wants to do. If you were a hiker and he didn’t invite you it would be hurtful but you’re not so he either does it without you or not at all. Life is for living and early retirement an opportunity to fulfil dreams like this while he still can.

ApricotCheesecake · 16/09/2025 20:08

Personally I'd be fine with my DH doing this if he wanted to after he retired.

corlan · 16/09/2025 20:08

I think you're being selfish. If you had young kids I could understand your point but you haven't given a good reason why he shouldn't go.

Moomum123 · 16/09/2025 20:08

I understand why you would feel sad - 6 weeks is a long time, however it is a one off special trip, and for those who undertake it- an amazing experience. Are you a confident traveller, could you perhaps travel to meet him at a half way point, and then again at the end to celebrate his accomplishment?

YumYa · 16/09/2025 20:09

A lot of people do the camino alone.

I wouldn't mind dh wanting to do it. I like long distance walking but don't fancy the camino.

What's worrying you @Piratecatcher ? Is he in good health?

BellaEllaWella · 16/09/2025 20:09

If he is retired and not restricted by holiday allowance it’s fine - at 69 you need to take everyone opportunity to do stuff while you can. What would you be doing in the 6 weeks if he was at home?

Mandylovescandy · 16/09/2025 20:09

I can't wait to do this (well not exactly but something where I can travel by myself) when the DC grow up and I retire. Happy to do adventures with DP as well but I love being on my own and after years of DC and putting others first really want some time to myself. So I wouldn't have a problem with DP doing a solo 6 week holiday (unless it was something I really wanted to do and he didn't want to join then I would probably be a bit disappointed)

G5000 · 16/09/2025 20:09

why don't you want him to go? Just because you think it's too long? Yes I also think it's selfish if this is important to him. It's just 6 weeks.

LondonGalll · 16/09/2025 20:10

I’d be happy for my DH to do this. It’s an amazing opportunity. Maybe you could fly and meet him for a long weekend break after three weeks? He could take some respite too and sight see.

Bruisername · 16/09/2025 20:10

Sorry but I think you’re being selfish. It’s a great experience (I’m not a hiker but I knew a few people who’ve done it)

he’s not getting any younger and has the time now You’re holding him back

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 16/09/2025 20:10

Sounds like an amazing opportunity for him. Why don't you want him to go?

Ddakji · 16/09/2025 20:10

If this is something he really wants to do, are you happy for him to go to his grave knowing that you stopped him? It’s not his fault you don’t or won’t come with him. I daresay he’d like some company but there you go!

Maray1967 · 16/09/2025 20:10

My mum was fine with my dad going on a round the world yacht race when I was a teen - he was away for 9 months. It was the chance of a lifetime.

6 weeks is nothing- let him go. If you had young kids then it would be different, but why can’t he go at this stage in his life?

LondonGalll · 16/09/2025 20:11

Or you could do your own alternative adventure alone or with a friend

Harvestmoose · 16/09/2025 20:11

If my marriage was otherwise solid this wouldn’t bother me. Your children are grown up so presumably this is his chance now to do something he’s always wanted to do? I couldnt begrudge my husband this if we had no other burdens eg small children.

SkinnyOatFlatWhiteForMePlease · 16/09/2025 20:11

This feels like a big ask. I can fully understand wanting to do something before it’s too late, but marriage is a partnership and six weeks is a long time to be apart.
Is your DH be as supportive of your interests?

Could he do it in stages or could you need time at stops along the way fortnightly throughout?

hkathy · 16/09/2025 20:12

can you go on a short holiday to one of the points on the camino? and meet him along the way?

Silvertulips · 16/09/2025 20:12

You have grown children - you’ve spent your entire lives together - 6 weeks is nothing!!

Let him go - the alternative is he goes anyway, he may as well go while he can and come back happier.

These things are on my list - I want 2 months in Italy.

Louoby · 16/09/2025 20:12

Pull up your big girl pants and let him have an adventure. We only live once and who knows what’s around the corner. It’s just 6 weeks.

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