Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

[Piratecatcher]

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

I don't see anything wrong with this trip. He's probably proud of himself that at his age he is still fit enough to make such a long trip. You don't have young children to look after, you haven't mentioned any big event he would miss, I would happily send him on his way to fulfill his wishes (I almost said "dream" but that sounded to OTT).

I just think if you can’t support your spouse to follow a dream then it’s not great really

I'm another who would wave him off with good grace.
I think you are being selfish. Sorry. x

YABU.

You are an adult, stopping him from experiencing life (while he’s healthy enough to do so) because you’ll miss him is selfish IMO.

It’s an amazing walk though and I can see why he wants to do it, a real challenge. Why not take the ferry to Santander and meet up with him half way then again at the end visiting places interesting to you - Salamanca I can recommend

Maybe you could go along and sleep nights with him in the accommodation but do the hike parts in a taxi or something? I don't know what the camino is, so if that is a daft suggestion, just ignore me.

If it’s a bucket list thing for him but not something you would want to do I think you’re being selfish to not let him go. He’s not going to be young enough to do it for ever

Yeah … still unreasonable, sorry.

Can you articulate why exactly this upsets you so much? What you feel it’s jeopardising, or why it’s too long to be apart? Is there other stuff going on that makes you feel insecure, or that he’s not prioritising your feelings/relationship?

I would miss my partner but would be very happy to support him in doing this. You don't have to be tied at the hip just because you are married.

You get one life. Let him live it!

Is it taking the piss? Something he’s desperate to do which she won’t participate in? It’s not like he has kids to look after 🤷‍♀️ it’s only 6 weeks.

If I was in a situation where a spouse was fighting me to make me give up a planned life dream just to sit home with them, it would be divorce time. Without hesitation.

My partner has done part of this walk previously and wants to do the full walk once he retires. I’ve never been much of a hiker tbh and it means a lot to him, we will still likely have a DD in school too still by then and I’ll be working FT so we have discussed taking a holiday where we will meet him before and after. I have no issue about it tbh.
Could you arrange to meet him in parts and maybe have some nice trips yourself, maybe a way around it.

@Piratecatcher 's thread title is: Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone.

Except that's not really true. He wants to do the Camino trail and you have said you cannot join him as you're not a long distance hiker. His only option therefore is to do it without you

If he's retired YABU

Can you fly out to meet him mid walk ... maybe he could take a few days off walking x

Unless there is some drip-feed coming about your health or disability or being in the middle of a nightmarish building project, or some other reason why you cannot cope for six weeks without him, then yes, you are being selfish.

The camino is a once-in-a-lifetime thing to do, he is not getting any younger, and by the sound of it he would happily do it with you if you were willing or able.

Trying to stop him going would do far more damage to your relationship than six weeks apart.

YABVU OP. Thus sounds like a bucket list experience, the sort of thing you can only do when you’re retired. Why would you stop him doing this? The fact he’s 69 and wants to take on a challenge like this is pretty incredible.

Why woukd you want to stifle his opportunities? Life is for living.

Just asked DH if he fancies the Camino and he said yes. Let him go OP.

Last year I was made redundant and went off to SE Asia for 3 weeks mainly cycling. Left DH and DS18 at home. They were pretty happy 😳.

Either join home for sections or a nice holiday at the end, or do your own thing.

All I know of the Camino is from the book Two Steps Forward https://amzn.eu/d/iddJQcC I know it’s fiction but it did seem to me that there were people who did parts of it, or who didn’t necessarily hike the whole way.

To me it would depend on whether the trip would adversely impact the ability to spend time travelling together, as that’s what I hope to do in retirement with my DH. But I think I would definitely try support him to do it.

At his age he needs to do those bucket list things. Six weeks is long but give your head a wobble and let him go.

It’s unfair to suffocate other people into not doing things they really want to do for no other reason than ‘you don’t want him to’.

Let him go! How selfish to grudge him this time for something so special. Xxx

This is amazing for him, he's obviously trying to get some things checked off his bucket list as he gets older.
My friends partner has just been away solo for 6 weeks, there was no resentment, just something he wanted to do.
My cousins husband travels all over the world in the army for months on end and they are an amazing couple.
This doesn't have to be a negative thing, I wouldn't feel good if I stopped someone doing something they would love to do just because I didn't want to be away from them for long. Think of the stories he will have for you and definitely plan your own adventure.