Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

[Piratecatcher]

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

6 weeks is nothing on the grand scheme of life together. Yes, you are being selfish- life is too short.

As someone who loves hiking and has a bucket list of hikes (on hold for 20 years whilst raising kids) yabu if your only argument is essentially you'd miss him and feel like he should miss you.

Yes, YABU.

I’d be absolutely fine with this. In fact my retired DP wants to do the Camino, and I have already said that, whilst I do some long distance walking, it wouldn’t be for me (too long). So they are very welcome to go alone or with a walking friend of theirs. They are happy with that too. I will probably go away and do something I want to do for some of that time when they finally get around to arranging it.

Why on earth would you want to stand in the way of your husband doing something that he really wants to do? Sorry, but I think you're being selfish. Unless there is some big drip feed about why he shouldn't go.

I would happily " allow" this, if DC were grown and it was safe.

If this is something he really wants to do, then I wouldn’t have an issue. Yes would miss him, but life’s too short to miss out on something that would be a once in a lifetime opportunity. Why don’t you want him to go?

I'm another one who thinks you should be supportive of this unless there's a major dripfeed coming.

If there is a practical reason you don’t want him to go - eg you can’t afford it, or you need his care - then YANBU.

If you just don’t want him to, YABU. It could well be an experience that defines his life, which he shouldn’t miss because you’re unfit.

It's not like he's adding on 4 weeks to a beach holiday. It needs to be six weeks to achieve his goal. Stop arguing and support him. Meet him along the way and make great memories together.

Why is taking the piss? I would be sad if my DH went off for 6 weeks because I’d miss him but he’s his own person and if there are no young children or a joint financial impact, I can’t see what’s wrong with him wanting to do this. In fact I think it’s quite controlling to stop him.

Oh wow if my hubby picked this I would be sending him off for an experience not many get to do. It's not like you have little kids either. My hubby has never stopped me doing things I wanted and I wouldn't and haven't ever stopped him. Doesn't mean I don't love and adore him but we all want to experience as much as we can while we can to.

I think you’re being needy. Six weeks will go in a flash. If you’re already arguing about it I think you need to back down. Otherwise you will be denying him a once in a lifetime opportunity.

Could you start doing some walking and join him for part of it? Is there a company that would transport you along the route do you could do some of it, even if you an hour or two a day?

I really can’t see what’s wrong with that.

YABU

can you not find something interesting to do yourself?

Kindly, YABU.

This pilgrimage is not something anyone takes on lightly, it’s not like he wants to lie beside a pool getting pissed for 6 weeks. It obviously means a great deal to him and, given that he’s 69, if not now, when?

If my DP wanted to do something like this, I would respect his wishes and encourage him to do it while he still can. I would also plan a trip of my own at the same time, either with friends or solo.

It’s a once in a lifetime experience. If you’re married decades, six weeks is a drop in the ocean. Do you really want to piss on his dreams because of your own selfishness?

It is one of those bucket list things that people yearn to do, so I think you should let him.

However, I think you should also get to pick something you’ve always wanted. That could be a holiday that he’s always ruled out, or a purchase, or just something like him agreeing to spend Christmas with family without whinging.

Have a good think. There’s bound to be something you’d love to do but he’s prevented.

I’m torn between thinking of mine wanted to be apart for 6 weeks, I’d be devastated to thinking it’s an amazing experience, crack on, who am I to stop him? Zero help, sorry.

Is he fit enough? He's more or less the same age as DH and he's lost a lot of fitness in the last couple of years.

I'd not want him to do 6 weeks alone either.

If he wants to go and you don't, why not?

It's only 6 weeks of your lives, you aren't joined at the hip, time is running out and he has no reason not to (like young kids)

YABU. Doing the Camino is once in a lifetime, bucket list stuff. I hope to do it myself one day. And if you can't do it with him, I think it's a bit mean spirited to try to stop him for no reason.

You haven't said why you think he shouldn't go so by the limited information posted I think yourself being selfish to not agree with him.

He won’t be alone. Part of the journey is meeting others.

Is there an adventure you could go and have at the same time? Or at a different point?