Page 27 | Hubby wants to do a 6 week holiday alone

purpleygirl · 21/09/2025 08:51

My DH was thinking about doing a road trip across America. We have some family there and many friends. I would have been happy for him to do that for however long it would have taken him but the idea has now been shelved. For context we have been married a long time and I don’t know how I would feel if I was more recently married later in life.

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 08:55

YourUniqueOpalDog · 21/09/2025 04:48

Have you considered jetting in for a section or rest day? There could be a kind of meditative, let go and live in the moment, kind of dimension to it, so let's not get hung up on that specific remedy.

I would like to think that, rather than expecting him to have your approval, a better approach would be to say "OK, so you're going to do this adventure. How can we make this more accommodating of me and my reasonable need not to be on my own for too long?"

Some ideas - including some that could be combined:

he breaks it up into 2 trips
you go for a special date with him at the start and the finish
you do something similar but unique to you like an artists retreat
you fly a friend in for a stay with you
you facetime along the way (in a loving fun way, helping him blog his trip.)
get him to do it with 3 other men and on the agreement that the wives are going to wine and dine by Uber along the route, mocking them via TikTok with the help of your pool boy chaperones
Enlist a pair of comedians to turn his trip into an amazing, hilarious adventure where you are pulling the strings and recording the chaos. Make an appearance in disguise as a mystery woman in a convertible
Is there a life goal you have tucked away that you would like to take a run at?

Would it help to watch some videos about it so you can appreciate what it means for him and so you can delight in how your partner can experience it?

So basically change the experience completely to suit her needs?

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 08:57

Apologies @YourUniqueOpalDogkI’ve read your post properly now and I realize you’re taking the piss!

Candy24 · 21/09/2025 09:06

Id totally let him go. Honestly he has waited now or never would be his attitude at 69

BabyBlue777 · 21/09/2025 09:33

6 weeks holiday sounds like heaven to me. LOLZ I'd get 6 weeks of no snoring in the bed! Let him have his trip. I don't understand the need to cling to someone else for your happiness. Some independence is the spice of life. Live a little. Go and do something you love for 6 weeks. Treat yourself. Go to the spa. Have some girls over.

MyPinkTraybake · 21/09/2025 10:27

He is 69, this will be brilliant for his fitness, and not something he is going to be able to do into his 70s. As others say presumably you've had a lifetime together and will continue too...so 6 weeks is a drop in the ocean.

What I would do is plan things you enjoy during that time, and plan a trip together as well.

MyPinkTraybake · 21/09/2025 10:32

Also when you say solo do you literally mean solo? I'd be a bit worried? If it's with a group fine. But completely solo aged 69...or any age...seems a bit riskier? Taken like that it has a smack of quarter life crisis where I think you may need to reign him toward going with a group? (which will be significantly more expensive).

And I'm generally not a risk averse person.

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 10:54

MyPinkTraybake · 21/09/2025 10:32

Also when you say solo do you literally mean solo? I'd be a bit worried? If it's with a group fine. But completely solo aged 69...or any age...seems a bit riskier? Taken like that it has a smack of quarter life crisis where I think you may need to reign him toward going with a group? (which will be significantly more expensive).

And I'm generally not a risk averse person.

It’s the Camino-not solo trekking in the Himalayas……

MyPinkTraybake · 21/09/2025 11:06

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 10:54

It’s the Camino-not solo trekking in the Himalayas……

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😂 I did wonder that after I posted but couldn't be bothered to edit my post.

But in all honesty that's still hills and hiking all day alone? For six weeks? I can't visualise it.

If it's a well trodden route with easy hike from here to here in a day options then that's probably fine.

If it's wild camping in the middle of nowhere, I don't know. Solo travellers I have met always have a wild story to tell about something that had happened.

girljulian · 21/09/2025 12:23

EvieBB · 20/09/2025 23:30

Gosh I'm sorry to read about your dad, that must be so upsetting but great how that he got to do this bucket list amazing cycling trip. Please could I ask how long he has had MND?? My husband's best friend passed away from MND in January having been diagnosed only 6 months earlier (the symptoms started only about a year before he died from the disease - it was such a rapid and shocking decline). Does it vary?

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Hi Evie,

thank you for your kind words. Yes, it does vary quite a lot! He’s had it about five years now.

TheDayWeGotMinnie · 21/09/2025 12:29

He's 69. If he wants to go just give him your blessing. Life is short.

WildIslander · 21/09/2025 14:25

If time isn’t an issue, I’d float his half way point and have a weeks holiday, he can then recommence and in total you’re only apart for three weeks. Also, you can speak on the phone or even video call.
If walking is something he loves, and unfortunately it’s not something you can join in on, I wouldn’t stop him. We’re all only here for a short time, you’ve gotta do what you love, and in the grand scheme of things 6 weeks isn’t that long. I think stopping him will cause resentment, would he stop you from following a strong passion of yours? Good luck with your decision 👍

woolydd · 21/09/2025 14:32

My personal opinion, but I would not be happy. As a couple I feel you should agree to do things you both like or are amenable to do for your partner. Maybe a solo day out or even a weekend, but six weeks is a step too far.

NameChangedForThis2025 · 21/09/2025 14:39

I’m adding to the chorus of let him. My dad did the Camino solo in his 60s. He also did a long distance solo hike and camp when he was 70 from Canterbury to Iona in Scotland, joining up all the cathedral cities on his way.

I think mum misses him but also quite enjoys the time in her own too!

Pedallleur · 21/09/2025 14:40

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 10:54

It’s the Camino-not solo trekking in the Himalayas……

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Exactly. It's a well known and well written about route with villages, hotels etc. He isn't sailing solo around the world.

CurlewKate · 21/09/2025 15:36

WildIslander · 21/09/2025 14:25

If time isn’t an issue, I’d float his half way point and have a weeks holiday, he can then recommence and in total you’re only apart for three weeks. Also, you can speak on the phone or even video call.
If walking is something he loves, and unfortunately it’s not something you can join in on, I wouldn’t stop him. We’re all only here for a short time, you’ve gotta do what you love, and in the grand scheme of things 6 weeks isn’t that long. I think stopping him will cause resentment, would he stop you from following a strong passion of yours? Good luck with your decision 👍

But surely part of the point is doing it all in one hit? It’s supposed to be a challenge!

WildIslander · 21/09/2025 16:12

WildIslander · 21/09/2025 14:25

If time isn’t an issue, I’d float his half way point and have a weeks holiday, he can then recommence and in total you’re only apart for three weeks. Also, you can speak on the phone or even video call.
If walking is something he loves, and unfortunately it’s not something you can join in on, I wouldn’t stop him. We’re all only here for a short time, you’ve gotta do what you love, and in the grand scheme of things 6 weeks isn’t that long. I think stopping him will cause resentment, would he stop you from following a strong passion of yours? Good luck with your decision 👍

Should have read ‘fly out to meet him at his half way point’

Kindling1970 · 21/09/2025 16:41

woolydd · 21/09/2025 14:32

My personal opinion, but I would not be happy. As a couple I feel you should agree to do things you both like or are amenable to do for your partner. Maybe a solo day out or even a weekend, but six weeks is a step too far.

I disagree. My husband was offered an amazing creative job abroad for 6 months and it was hard for me to visit. I didn’t think twice about him going as it has allowed him to live out a dream he has always had. I put my own needs to one side so he can be the best version of himself and got the same response from him when I worked abroad for two months. I believe a decent couple support each other and are ok sacrificing time together because support to be apart does not mean we are not close.

also we have a life outside of each other too which I feel is vital so that these opportunities can happen.

2024onwardsandup · 21/09/2025 18:36

woolydd · 21/09/2025 14:32

My personal opinion, but I would not be happy. As a couple I feel you should agree to do things you both like or are amenable to do for your partner. Maybe a solo day out or even a weekend, but six weeks is a step too far.

So if you’re married your entire self and identity is limited to what your partner also enjoys - how limiting for both of you. And why does it need to be so limiting? Your relationship is one aspect of your life - it is not your whole life and self - and why does it need to be!!??

Aloha2024 · 21/09/2025 20:19

KindMauveCrone · 20/09/2025 19:01

I understand your sadness. Sometimes people just need some space. Have you considered going for a 4 week cruise with a group ? Good luck.

ha ! I would definitely going for a cruise. Alone :)

FindingMeno · 21/09/2025 20:22

Let him go,op.
Please.

MyElatedUmberFinch · 21/09/2025 20:29

woolydd · 21/09/2025 14:32

My personal opinion, but I would not be happy. As a couple I feel you should agree to do things you both like or are amenable to do for your partner. Maybe a solo day out or even a weekend, but six weeks is a step too far.

I really disagree, I hate skiing, my DH loves it, why should he miss out on one of his passions?. I love visiting certain countries my DH isn’t so keen on so I go on my own.

TheRhodesian · 22/09/2025 09:21

Piratecatcher · 16/09/2025 19:59

Hi My hubby age 69 wants to go hiking solo for 6 weeks ..doing the Camino.. I am very upset about it as I feel its too long to be apart and also hurt that he is ok with that.. We have a good relationship usually and adult children. I have happily accepted him doing solo two week hikes in the past but 6 weeks feels too long and I am not a long distance hiker so I can’t join him. We are arguing about it.. Am I being selfish? He thinks I am.

Not really. He should invite you to stay in a caravan along the hike route so you can meet up every 2or 3 weeks. You're not spring chickens anymore so this time matters more than any other time. We don't live forever.

On the other hand, he's not exactly young enough to prosecute an affair at his age, so let him go.

A supportive wife is a husband's crown and glory and is what will keep him with you until the end.

Cherrytree86 · 22/09/2025 10:04

woolydd · 21/09/2025 14:32

My personal opinion, but I would not be happy. As a couple I feel you should agree to do things you both like or are amenable to do for your partner. Maybe a solo day out or even a weekend, but six weeks is a step too far.

@woolydd

totally agree. When you get married you should be by your spouses side all the time and only do stuff that they like doing. I cant believe you think a day out without spouse is ok tbh. I mean what’s the point in getting married if you want to do that??

Cherrytree86 · 22/09/2025 10:07

Trillie · 21/09/2025 02:23

Fine, let him go. Then take yourself off on your own for a six week holiday and see what happens.

@Trillie

umm, what do you think would happen?