Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Maybe he's retired and just likes watching the world go by and saying hi. That's not actually predatory or weird.

I find it strange you only moved in last week and you’re already worried you’re going to have to ignore him for ‘years’. Most people don’t think beyond the following week. If he makes you uncomfortable walk past with your head in your phone and pretend you haven’t heard him.

Is this a wind up op?

In what way is being a decent member of society not your responsibility?

It must surely be! I have never seen such a fuss made over saying "hello" to a fellow human being.

For the love of god, just say Hello back and keep walking. Why are so many people so socially incompetent these days that a local saying hello, throws them into a panic?

Thank you @Biblio4

Brilliant!
”I did not mean to be happy” 😂

This.

Old men standing on their doorsteps? Probably not.

Nominating this for classics

How many times per day do you see this man stood outside his house?

OP, you asked what you should do.

What sort of answers did you expect?

You don’t even need to say hello. A nod of acknowledgment would do.

I'd be honoured.

It's probably just well that you continue to ignore him.

If he has learning disabilities a snotty attitude is the last thing he needs.

If you lived in France it would be totally normal to say "Bonjour" (hello) to any one you walked past & quite rude not to.

Imagine getting to 60 years of age and having to ask if you should ignore someone. So odd.

I don’t live in the north and 90% of people I walk past during the day say ‘hello’, weird that so many think we’re unfriendly to each other.

How exactly will you get involved if you say "hello"? I suspect you are overthinking this.

Brilliant, pmsl 🤣🤣

I used to have this when I was in my early 20s walking to work past a whole lot of homeless people who were permanently stationed on particular spots on the pavement. It got really difficult because at first I just said hello politely, but then they realised that I was soft and they could kind of manipulate me and it got really difficult.

I went to the council housing office and the lady there said I just needed to resolutely ignore them every single time.

It was difficult though and there is one man that still remembers me from 20 years ago who still makes me nervous. It's odd I know but it can be very intimidating when people make pointed eye contact like that day after day.

Im not sure what kind of response you are expecting OP?
I don’t think there is a way how to get rid of him known to the hive mind of MN . So your options are:

• continue ignore him
• answer hello and then ignore him
• answer hello and stop for a chat
• stop going to Coop
• going to Coop by a different route ( there are options here of course like going around or going to the other side of the road before his house and then back to Coop after)
• start going to Coop by car.

I can’t see anything else possible.

Could you ask someone local about him? It would give you an idea if he was lonely or mentally ill or anything else and you would be able to make a better informed choice.

I personally would answer hello back and move on but I completely understand why you were concerned how it might be seen by him. I have DD with additional needs and wouldn’t advise her to answer hello back, I would tell her to use a different route.

I used to walk my dd to school. A man used to pass us and always said hello. I did say yep hi, once. He did this every day after. Turns out he was an alcoholic homeless in a group of others who used to hang around the primary school. I told him to please leave us alone as he used to say hello, smirk, and stare at us as he passed from The other side of the street. I Ignored him and he sat on the bench opposite my route home in the rain. We moved house.. Yes some can get too much. He should judge reactions. Not everyone needs to say hello back. I said morning to a dog walker earlier as I moved off the path for them, and got blanked, if I see her again I wouldn't bother. Trust your gut.

So anyone who is experiencing mental illness doesn’t deserve a cheery ‘hello’ ??? How unkind OP…….. I hope you never struggle with your own mental health 😡

If this was me I'd be onto "Morning Bob...Co op again" by now.
And then one day I'd go past with a Waitrose bag and he'd say "Waitrose...gone posh have we?"
This is called normal community life.