Old-ish man on the route to the Co-op who keeps saying hello

[RogueFemale]

I moved house last week and already have noticed this man. He lives on the short (7m) walking route to the local Co-Op. He's maybe mid 60s, tall, heavy build. He is always standing outside his front door, and he loudly says hello every time I go past. I ignore him.

I'm 60 and am used to being invisible.

So it's not a leering hello. I also thought maybe it was accidental he was standing outside before, or something, and just a cheery 'local' hello.

But I went past twice today (to Co-Op) and he was there both times, hello-ing, and I'm finding it quite weird, that he's always standing outside his front door.

I'm going to be going to the local Co-Op a lot, so what do I do?

AIBU to continue to ignore him and just doggedly go past for years pretending he's not there?

Oh for goodness’ sake. You have been told loudly and clearly that YAB massively unreasonable. Have the good grace to admit that you are and bow out gracefully.

I wonder if there’s a thread somewhere by the co op staff about a miserable woman who comes in constantly and if this is normal or creepy

You're asking what do you do? What do you want to do?

You're not going to be able to stop him saying hello from his own door step, he's not following you or being suggestive or rude. You're entitled to ignore him if you feel uncomfortable. So you have a few choices...continue to ignore him, say hello or change your route. That's your choice. No one on here is going to be able to give you advice as none of us know him.

It's possible he's enjoying making you feel uncomfortable. It's equally possible he's lonely or friendly and this is just his way. He may have learning difficulties, dementia or whatever. He could be standing on the doorstep waiting for his wife/kids/best mate every day and it's a pure coincidence that you're passing at a similar time. He could just be letting you know he's there - he may feel there's nothing more creepy than someone 'watching you' without saying something so he's being polite. Or he could be a noisy sod who's best avoided if you want to keep any privacy. I don't know and neither do you.

What you could do is ask your neighbours. If this is the route to the local shop why not knock next door and just ask? They'll know if he's the same with everyone. They could put your mind at rest or put you on your guard. Then what you decide to 'do' would be based on a few facts.

Thank you @Mewling

Every community has its quirky characters that everyone knows of. One of the small joys of life to know them

So a chap in his 60s who you have decided stands on his doorstep the entire day is now creepy, mentally ill, predatory with dementia - all because, in the last week he has greeted you (whilst I assume not pursuing you or exposing himself?). I genuinely think you have issues of your own, and you even come across as wanting strangers on the Internet to validate your need to be a victim?

If I lived in the same community, it would be you who I'd be telling my children to give a wide birth.

Do you also feel victimised when someone disagrees with you by chance? Or parks on the road near your house?

How tiresome.

Your poll is currently 97% saying you are being unreasonable, i don’t know why you are still arguing the toss, its clear you are the one in the wrong.

I’m a rabid feminist but….mens desires? Come on, he’s just a dude saying hello. If he only targeted women, or was being creepy or whatever sure. But he literally has said hello as you’ve walked past.

And thanking profusely the very few fellow misers and man haters posters who agree with her.

“Keep on and on” doing what?

Saying hello? How bloody onerous is returning someone’s greeting once a day 🤦‍♀️

My Dad had dementia, would wonder around, walk into the hairdressers and just sit down ( they’d make him a cup of tea) board trains and get lost. I was grateful to every stranger who treated him with kindness.

@Avie29 There have been no clear arguments, just 'arguing the toss'. I maintain that I'm not in the wrong.

Are you a 'trans identifying man'?
Is that what this is about?

It’s like when you walk your dog. Seems it’s dog walking etiquette to say hello to other passing dog walkers. But you will get some (minority) who don’t respond. You then don’t say hello to them again as you respect I guess that they just don’t want to engage. Which is fine. I imagine the guy must have SNs, as no person would really repeat ‘hello’ to someone who ignores them every day. I would say hello back, but I wouldn’t judge others that don’t, maybe theyre introvert and just don’t feel comfortable engaging with a stranger?

This is not some feminist stand against 'mens desires'.

It is rude, and a bit cruel too.

There is an older man with learning difficulties often on our route to school. He says hello to everyone and it is heartening to see everyone knows his name, stops to chat to him and keeps a bit of an eye out for him. I know it means the world to his elderly mother.

To think that there are monsters who would ignore him because he might have 'mental problems'.

She can ignore him if she wants. That’s her prerogative. But she’s actively come here asking us what she should do. And the only two clear answers are a. Say hello, b. Continue to ignore. So what’s the point in all this?

She's not wrong to feel the way she does though? That's how she feels

He doesn’t sound like a very good predator if he doesn’t move off his doorstep.

Fuck no. I'm a biological adult female.

I wouldn't like it. It would make me feel uncomfortable. I'd also assume he had some sort of MH issue..... or that he would be one of those who chatted your ear off and you couldn't get away from 😅

I'd probably walk another way 😅

Mind absolutely blown. Stop it. That's way too sensible!🤦‍♀️

I know a couple of people probably over 60(more like over 70) who actually sit outside their terrace houses in the front little garden every day unless it’s raining! Chatting etc to anyone who passes, sometimes even when weather is bad the sit in the doorway with a blanket. I think they are just lonely.
If you don’t have to respond, just ignore.

If you weren’t going to listen to majority of the people here than why post a tread/poll asking for advice? You may aswell have just carried on with what you are doing, personally i think you just want the drama and this thread is a load of bullshit.

@Icanttakethisanymore Fair point, but I don't underestimate the reach of arsehole men. And they are still predatory even when their penises don't work anymore.

Last chance (I'm getting bored now). What do you mean by 'trans-identifying'?