To be unhappy DH prioritises £10K/year hobby over our joint savings?

[Loopylampshade]

I love my DH very much but I feel he doesn’t prioritise our joint future as much as his hobby. This hobby costs him more than 10K a year, which is fine because he earns a good wage and it makes him happy. However, we are also refurbishing a house for which I have done 90% of the work & organising so far, as he despises it and says “you wanted a fixer upper - I just wanted a new build”. He will of course also benefit from the financial value that gets added to the house by the refurb. He recently agreed to pay a £1K decoration project & to take it off my hands. However he now said it also means he won’t contribute for 2 months to our joint savings (which he could easily afford if he would just pause this hobby for 2 months). This is our safety & holiday fund. Am I being unreasonable for feeling that he prioritises his personal happiness over making a sacrifice that will benefit us both (albeit I care more about the refurb than he does)? Perhaps I am already a bit frustrated because he also earns more than I do but we do split mortgage + bills 50/50, meaning I don’t have as much disposable income as he does. Is this a common thing for couples to argue about? I am just sad about it all

Puzzled by what? That he has to have everything equal and measured out and balanced even in a relationship because either everything has to be the same for both of you or he doesn’t trust you

are you planning children because he is the type of man who would need you to cover 50/50 even then

where did I say I agreed with it? I said “to his mind”, because I suspect that’s how HE is looking at it.

Oh dear! I was delighted that my DC2 got into rock climbing instead of horses like DC1 and me, as I was thinking it would be a much cheaper hobby. 😳

From my pov, I’m spending £1000s on my hobby and having a thoroughly lovely life. DH is supportive all the way. My dad died wishing he’d spent more time having fun than working, and as long as you have food on the table and enough to pay bills with, have fun. That goes for you too, OP, not just your DH. Obviously this needs to be done in agreement. DH just sheepishly refused produced another musical instrument out of thin air the other day. Who am I to object to him spending money on the things that bring him joy? Because I’m guilty of that too.

About half of your responses start with “ha ha” / “lol”. If you can’t take yourself seriously, why should your DH.

I’m not sure how he can be both caring and always there for you while also the man you have described in your posts.