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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

235 replies

kindnessforthewin · 13/09/2025 14:35

Took DC1 (almost 3) to party this morning. DH stayed at home with DC2 (under weather from nursery/sleeping).

DH helped me leave, took my phone and put in address to car park then connected to car, so I just got in car and left.

When arrived didn’t recognise it, only been to this party venue once; the car park was opposite but i thought just different entrance. Couldn’t get out carpark; all signs were for shopping centre and I needed street level.

Finally found a way out into the deliveries section, definitely wasn’t for the public, had no idea where I was, messaged DH saying I’m so lost then google maps told me I was 5 min walk away! Not opposite like last time. I said wrong car park, he said no just you left wrong exit.

Got to party, saw the right carpark and took a pic; also said DC1 was so tired as took so long to get out carpark and walk (no pram). No apology, and then during party DH said ‘it was wrong car park are you going to find way back there ok?’ No apology. I said yes just same way we came.

Was dreading walk back; DC1 still naps and it was right over nap time so left a bit early and had to carry all 17.5kg him (plus party bag, balloon, my bag, his water). If I thought getting out was hard, getting in was impossible, tried the fire exit door I left from but no access from outside; messages DH to say we are stuck and nap time is going to be hard as he’s so exhausted, replied ‘oh no’.

Then walked up entrance ramp to get in, dangerous, and we are so tired from trying to get in anyway. Then couldn’t find car as I knew it was level 2 but it was labelled as 1A, man told me to go down to level 1 but I knew it wasn’t but also couldn’t see car. Called DH to ask him to beep/flash car from app and of course was stressed, so shouted saying I wish he didn’t baby me and just put the address of party in, I was ok to find car parking, etc.

When I got home (DC1 fell asleep in car) DH wouldn’t talk to me; I said it was stressful and when I asked why he was ignoring me he said that I’m disrespectful and shouldn’t call him up purely to shout and I’m teaching DC1 that’s ok. I was calling him to beep/flash primarily but it was really stressful in the moment with such a tired toddler.
My shoulder and hip is already in bits from being on mat leave for a year with DC2 who is now 10kg, have been exited about him starting nursery a couple days as they’re big kids and my body needs a break. Not today. It was painful and stressful.

I do get stressed at him over things from time to time but wondering if that’s normal with a young family.

AIBU to be so stressed in the moment and also to want an apology or acknowledgment for his error? I couldn’t imagine doing that and not being so apologetic. I know he didn’t mean it, he was trying to help but my word did it cause so much stress. I don’t get he didn’t say my mistake so sorry hope it’s ok.

OP posts:
roseymoira · 13/09/2025 14:49

This can’t be for real, is this a reverse?

tripleginandtonic · 13/09/2025 14:50

You need to grown up OP
Yabu.

Wildgoat · 13/09/2025 14:51

Surely you didn’t behave like that op?

Lammveg · 13/09/2025 14:51

Sure, its annoying what happened but your husband didnt do anything wrong intentionally. He was trying to help. Next time do it all yourself so you only have yourself to blame.

pikkumyy77 · 13/09/2025 14:51

Both of you need to take a chill pill. Have you ever thought that you might have some kind if map or visual processing impairment that makes remembering or visualizing space and transit difficult? Because this was a crazy level of scaffolding from you dh and of anxiety and collapse from you.

Jackiepumpkinhead · 13/09/2025 14:52

Sort your own directions out next time.

SunnyDolly · 13/09/2025 14:53

I don’t get why you had to involve your DH, sounds frustrating but it’s hardly his fault, these things happen. If my DH called me shouting at me I’d be rightly pissed off too. You’ve had a bad day, stop trying to blame it on someone. It happens.

ComfortFoodCafe · 13/09/2025 14:53

Your being ridiculous - talk about first world problems.

Vaguelyclassical · 13/09/2025 14:54

Learn to read a map! (A sadly disappearing skill.)

friskery · 13/09/2025 14:54

What a drama!

So you ended up parking in a car park 5 minutes walk from the venue instead of right next to it?
Sounds mildly irritating but didn't really need multiple messages. A toddler can do a 5 minute walk.

Sirzy · 13/09/2025 14:54

You said you where a 5 minute walk from the venue, or did you mean 5 miles?

surelh if it mattered that much you could have reprogrammed the Sat nav when you realised it wasn’t where you would rather have parked?

pikkumyy77 · 13/09/2025 14:55

You had the car keys why couldn’t you beep/flash the car? Why does ‘nt your phone mark the car location—mine does. Why didn’t you just go in through the business attached to the car park?

Wildgoat · 13/09/2025 14:56

Op, you need to apologise to your husband, if my husband behaved like that I’m not sure he’d be my husband much longer, and if a woman posted her husband treated her like that she’d be told he was abusive.

I’ve seldom read anything where someone is so incapable, has such a melt down, becomes abusive and phones to shout at their partner,

next time, you stay home and let your husband take your other child to the party and apologise for how you behaved, it was far from ok and if you do this repeatedly as you’re indicating then maybe it’s time to get some help.

MonsterMamaJam · 13/09/2025 14:56

Wow. Can’t imagine not being able to find my way around without consulting my husband. Why the need to call him - can’t you figure anything out for yourself? I’m embarrassed for you.

you need to work on yourself

LadyQuackBeth · 13/09/2025 14:56

You should have spent some of your energy trying to solve the problem instead of firing off blame and carrying an almost three year old and all his stuff for a 5min walk. You made a lot of bad decisions and expect DH to take the blame for all of them, when all he did was try to help and make an easy (to make and to fix) mistakes. YABU

WhyGetInvolved · 13/09/2025 14:56

Was this at Braehead in Glasgow by any chance?

Anewuser · 13/09/2025 14:56

Mountain out of a molehill. I guess since your husband put in sat nav directions then he is used to you getting stressed before leaving the house?

He tried to be helpful, you shouted at him.

You should have programmed sat nav yourself.

YetanotherNC25 · 13/09/2025 14:57

Your poor husband. You need to apologise to him.

TheTreeByTheRoad · 13/09/2025 15:01

When you got there and it wasn't the place you remembered, why did you not pull over and readjust your map to the party location?

You chose to park in the awkward place and you forgot where your car was. That's on you.

No87 · 13/09/2025 15:02

You blame your DH for babying you but you're the one calling him constantly over ever little thing. Grow up!

kindnessforthewin · 13/09/2025 15:02

The irony of AIBU thread with the dramatic replies calling me dramatic. I do wonder why AIBU pulls in the most finger pointing and dramatic replies. Please keep going, cheering me up.

OP posts:
kindnessforthewin · 13/09/2025 15:03

No87 · 13/09/2025 15:02

You blame your DH for babying you but you're the one calling him constantly over ever little thing. Grow up!

😂

OP posts:
HighLadyofTheNightCourt · 13/09/2025 15:03

Why on earth did your husband need to sort the sat nav out for you?

I get that you were stressed but you probably need to apologise for taking it out on him.

Lollytea655 · 13/09/2025 15:04

You owe him an apology, and in future you do realise you have the ability to set the sat nav by yourself?

Wildgoat · 13/09/2025 15:04

kindnessforthewin · 13/09/2025 15:02

The irony of AIBU thread with the dramatic replies calling me dramatic. I do wonder why AIBU pulls in the most finger pointing and dramatic replies. Please keep going, cheering me up.

Wow.

‘op, am I unreasonable,
‘mumsnet, yes, outrageously so.
op, no I’m not so I’m going to hurl abuse at all of you too.