Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

[kindnessforthewin]

Took DC1 (almost 3) to party this morning. DH stayed at home with DC2 (under weather from nursery/sleeping).

DH helped me leave, took my phone and put in address to car park then connected to car, so I just got in car and left.

When arrived didn’t recognise it, only been to this party venue once; the car park was opposite but i thought just different entrance. Couldn’t get out carpark; all signs were for shopping centre and I needed street level.

Finally found a way out into the deliveries section, definitely wasn’t for the public, had no idea where I was, messaged DH saying I’m so lost then google maps told me I was 5 min walk away! Not opposite like last time. I said wrong car park, he said no just you left wrong exit.

Got to party, saw the right carpark and took a pic; also said DC1 was so tired as took so long to get out carpark and walk (no pram). No apology, and then during party DH said ‘it was wrong car park are you going to find way back there ok?’ No apology. I said yes just same way we came.

Was dreading walk back; DC1 still naps and it was right over nap time so left a bit early and had to carry all 17.5kg him (plus party bag, balloon, my bag, his water). If I thought getting out was hard, getting in was impossible, tried the fire exit door I left from but no access from outside; messages DH to say we are stuck and nap time is going to be hard as he’s so exhausted, replied ‘oh no’.

Then walked up entrance ramp to get in, dangerous, and we are so tired from trying to get in anyway. Then couldn’t find car as I knew it was level 2 but it was labelled as 1A, man told me to go down to level 1 but I knew it wasn’t but also couldn’t see car. Called DH to ask him to beep/flash car from app and of course was stressed, so shouted saying I wish he didn’t baby me and just put the address of party in, I was ok to find car parking, etc.

When I got home (DC1 fell asleep in car) DH wouldn’t talk to me; I said it was stressful and when I asked why he was ignoring me he said that I’m disrespectful and shouldn’t call him up purely to shout and I’m teaching DC1 that’s ok. I was calling him to beep/flash primarily but it was really stressful in the moment with such a tired toddler.
My shoulder and hip is already in bits from being on mat leave for a year with DC2 who is now 10kg, have been exited about him starting nursery a couple days as they’re big kids and my body needs a break. Not today. It was painful and stressful.

I do get stressed at him over things from time to time but wondering if that’s normal with a young family.

AIBU to be so stressed in the moment and also to want an apology or acknowledgment for his error? I couldn’t imagine doing that and not being so apologetic. I know he didn’t mean it, he was trying to help but my word did it cause so much stress. I don’t get he didn’t say my mistake so sorry hope it’s ok.

"Angry people being angry."

Hope you can see the irony in this comment OP 😂

No, I’ve never dramatised anything, It’s not within my skill set. You might want to look into selling the rights though, as (although not a fan myself) Mr Bean was a very popular show in the UK.

Well just change them yourself. Its not rocket science

None of the replies at this point in the thread are dramatic. I haven't read the rest.

Were you hoping for everyone to say he was a terrible person, LTB, and make you feel better for being a stroppy mare?

I do understand that sometimes a DH can be too helpful. I have one like that, but his idea of what's helpful isn't the same as mine, and sometimes it causes me more faff. Which is what appears to have happened today.

But I wouldn't have responded in the same way you did. I suck it up, because I appreciate he is trying to be helpful because he loves me.

Oh nooooo a random stranger thinks im vulgar! However will i cope!

Oh wait, i don’t care. And I fucking love a good swear. Swearing is fucking amazing and adults offended by it are miserable boring twats with the sensibilities of a particularly dim toddler.

Also you’re a hypocrite seeing as your swore in your post

And I sure hope one day you will receive the repercussions of your attitude and actions.

😂😂😂😂😂 somebody has told you that this is a good insult. Bless you.

Do you have learning difficulties? It might explain why your DH had to put the details in for you, why you need your hand held to take your child to a party, and also most of your responses here.

What a massively big deal over nothing.

Op my husband always manages to put me in stupid situations by trying to help. Just do it for yourself in future as some people who try to help end up helping nobody, like little miss helpful from Mr men

Taking everything else aside (as it's been debated to death already) what I find fascinating here is that, upon finding herself lost, the first thing OP does is message her DH...who isn't even there.

And then later when she's struggling to find her car again she asks her DH to beep it..again when he's not there.

This sort of over-reliance and learned helplessness is absolutely bizarre.

For most people this wouldn't have been an issue at all. Get a bit lost. Find alternative car park. Do party. Perhaps mention later on, in conversation about the party, that the sat nav was initially set to the wrong car park. But there would have been no faff whatsoever.

Instead, this absolute reliance on another human being and inability to problem-solve has created a drama out of what should have been a very minor inconvenience at most.

Surely I'm not the only one who wouldn't even have considered calling someone who wasn't there if I was lost and confused. Not least because I would have had Google maps in my hand.

You’ve just reminded me that I was once on a work trip in NYC, and mistakenly got on an express rather than a local subway train, with a colleague in his early fifties.

I mean, it was no kind of disaster, we just found ourselves in Queens when we hadn’t wanted to go there, but we weren’t under time pressure to get back to Manhattan or anything — but I noticed him sending a frantic text, so I said ‘I already called X — she knows we’re running late’, and it turned out he’d been texting his wife!

He wanted her to look up return trains, while she was at work on another continent. Apparently she always organised family holidays, and was in charge of navigating them around unfamiliar places. And with his wife not present, he just looked to me to tell him which train to get on!