Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

[kindnessforthewin]

Took DC1 (almost 3) to party this morning. DH stayed at home with DC2 (under weather from nursery/sleeping).

DH helped me leave, took my phone and put in address to car park then connected to car, so I just got in car and left.

When arrived didn’t recognise it, only been to this party venue once; the car park was opposite but i thought just different entrance. Couldn’t get out carpark; all signs were for shopping centre and I needed street level.

Finally found a way out into the deliveries section, definitely wasn’t for the public, had no idea where I was, messaged DH saying I’m so lost then google maps told me I was 5 min walk away! Not opposite like last time. I said wrong car park, he said no just you left wrong exit.

Got to party, saw the right carpark and took a pic; also said DC1 was so tired as took so long to get out carpark and walk (no pram). No apology, and then during party DH said ‘it was wrong car park are you going to find way back there ok?’ No apology. I said yes just same way we came.

Was dreading walk back; DC1 still naps and it was right over nap time so left a bit early and had to carry all 17.5kg him (plus party bag, balloon, my bag, his water). If I thought getting out was hard, getting in was impossible, tried the fire exit door I left from but no access from outside; messages DH to say we are stuck and nap time is going to be hard as he’s so exhausted, replied ‘oh no’.

Then walked up entrance ramp to get in, dangerous, and we are so tired from trying to get in anyway. Then couldn’t find car as I knew it was level 2 but it was labelled as 1A, man told me to go down to level 1 but I knew it wasn’t but also couldn’t see car. Called DH to ask him to beep/flash car from app and of course was stressed, so shouted saying I wish he didn’t baby me and just put the address of party in, I was ok to find car parking, etc.

When I got home (DC1 fell asleep in car) DH wouldn’t talk to me; I said it was stressful and when I asked why he was ignoring me he said that I’m disrespectful and shouldn’t call him up purely to shout and I’m teaching DC1 that’s ok. I was calling him to beep/flash primarily but it was really stressful in the moment with such a tired toddler.
My shoulder and hip is already in bits from being on mat leave for a year with DC2 who is now 10kg, have been exited about him starting nursery a couple days as they’re big kids and my body needs a break. Not today. It was painful and stressful.

I do get stressed at him over things from time to time but wondering if that’s normal with a young family.

AIBU to be so stressed in the moment and also to want an apology or acknowledgment for his error? I couldn’t imagine doing that and not being so apologetic. I know he didn’t mean it, he was trying to help but my word did it cause so much stress. I don’t get he didn’t say my mistake so sorry hope it’s ok.

Because you make yourself sound incapable of navigating these things in your first post. I'm clearly not alone in having the impression that you lack resilience.

You're being dramatic

I am embarrassed for you

Thank you. A measured response, sadly I thought it was just another entrance so didn’t doubt him.

Some people just aren't ready for grown-up activities, like having children or driving cars.

Have a nice day. Lanzarote lady.

Necessary comment?

Your poor DH, you sound incredibly needy and very annoying. Nothing more unappealing.

Honestly you’re making me laugh, you think the responses are ott, but your behaviour, was not, and was what, normal?

op, grownups get in the car, put the address in the sat nav, if it’s incorrect, change it, don’t forget where their car is and call their spouse repeatedly, have to ask passers by for help, complain about being tired as they got lost within a few mins radius, complain about having to carry a party bag and balloon with their child snd then demand an apology.

im suspecting you rely heavily on your husband to support you, that’s why you have such a mad situation where he even takes your phone, connects it, sets the sat nav and has to help you just to leave.

You don’t make sense….

Could you not have exited through the shopping centre though? Or once you realised the car park was for the shopping centre and not the venue, just driven out and parked in the other car park?

It does sound annoying though, it's stressful when these things happen. It's annoying that your husband got the postcode wrong.
But it was also quite a straighforward problem to sort by you there, rather than calling your husband.

I’m genuinely confused, what does your husband have to apologise for?

I only called him to beep flash the car, I wouldn’t have done. I wouldn’t fancy entering a big shopping centre when I need a sports centre somewhere on street level, I did think about it, wouldn’t have helped.

Very

You are the one who doesn't make sense.

You were messaging him repeatedly, called him and even asked a passing man to help you.

I didn’t forget where the car was. I knew it was ‘1A’ and I went up a level. However on level 2 I could see it wasn’t right, but eventually realised there was a demi ramp down and that was 1A. All was written out but please keep laughing at me…

Grow up, OP. You were taking your child to a party, not trying out for the SAS.

If I was at home minding a poorly nursery-age child and made a mistake that inconvenienced my husband he wouldn't dream of bothering me 4 times to have a go at me. When he'd get home I'd apologise.

The reason your husband didn't apologise is because your behaviour isn't rational. He's probably afraid it would just encourage your outrage and up your abusive behaviour towards him. Honestly, I'm not getting a kick out of berating someone on AIBU. Constantly harrassing someone minding a poorly child and shouting down the phone to them is so far outside the realm of normal.

Totally.

Op I don’t think this thread is going to be helpful for you. It’s just going to wind you up even more.

I don’t think your husband did much wrong certainly not deliberately. You gave two young children and are probably tired and stressed and the navigating to the party ended up being quite stressful.

If I was you I’d hide this thread. Go and grab a drink, make up with your husband.

In years to come you’ll laugh about the whole car park incident.

Didn’t ask a passing man to help me. Where did you get that from? I passed a service man in the stairwell who held the door open for me and when I saw the big number 2, I said is 1A up here? And he said no down on level 1, I said no I definitely went up a level. Don’t jump to conclusions pls.

IMO you were in the wrong and should apologise to your husband. I realise you found the experience a bit stressful, but that isn’t an excuse for shouting at him.

Not gonna pile on op but you need to get yourself a camomile tea and a valium.
💐

And some grown up knickers!

Thanks and we’ve made up. I’m fine. Kids asleep. Honestly, I just can’t stand a thread like this where people come out the gates so accusatory and twisting what I’ve said, jumping to conclusions. Im not stressed, just in the mood to call out unkind people who can’t seem to pass an opinion without doing the above.