Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

[kindnessforthewin]

Took DC1 (almost 3) to party this morning. DH stayed at home with DC2 (under weather from nursery/sleeping).

DH helped me leave, took my phone and put in address to car park then connected to car, so I just got in car and left.

When arrived didn’t recognise it, only been to this party venue once; the car park was opposite but i thought just different entrance. Couldn’t get out carpark; all signs were for shopping centre and I needed street level.

Finally found a way out into the deliveries section, definitely wasn’t for the public, had no idea where I was, messaged DH saying I’m so lost then google maps told me I was 5 min walk away! Not opposite like last time. I said wrong car park, he said no just you left wrong exit.

Got to party, saw the right carpark and took a pic; also said DC1 was so tired as took so long to get out carpark and walk (no pram). No apology, and then during party DH said ‘it was wrong car park are you going to find way back there ok?’ No apology. I said yes just same way we came.

Was dreading walk back; DC1 still naps and it was right over nap time so left a bit early and had to carry all 17.5kg him (plus party bag, balloon, my bag, his water). If I thought getting out was hard, getting in was impossible, tried the fire exit door I left from but no access from outside; messages DH to say we are stuck and nap time is going to be hard as he’s so exhausted, replied ‘oh no’.

Then walked up entrance ramp to get in, dangerous, and we are so tired from trying to get in anyway. Then couldn’t find car as I knew it was level 2 but it was labelled as 1A, man told me to go down to level 1 but I knew it wasn’t but also couldn’t see car. Called DH to ask him to beep/flash car from app and of course was stressed, so shouted saying I wish he didn’t baby me and just put the address of party in, I was ok to find car parking, etc.

When I got home (DC1 fell asleep in car) DH wouldn’t talk to me; I said it was stressful and when I asked why he was ignoring me he said that I’m disrespectful and shouldn’t call him up purely to shout and I’m teaching DC1 that’s ok. I was calling him to beep/flash primarily but it was really stressful in the moment with such a tired toddler.
My shoulder and hip is already in bits from being on mat leave for a year with DC2 who is now 10kg, have been exited about him starting nursery a couple days as they’re big kids and my body needs a break. Not today. It was painful and stressful.

I do get stressed at him over things from time to time but wondering if that’s normal with a young family.

AIBU to be so stressed in the moment and also to want an apology or acknowledgment for his error? I couldn’t imagine doing that and not being so apologetic. I know he didn’t mean it, he was trying to help but my word did it cause so much stress. I don’t get he didn’t say my mistake so sorry hope it’s ok.

says the women saying a dark and dangerous ramp 🙃

I asked a question about naming conventions for car parking levels as he held the door open for me in the stairwell. I did not ‘call a passing man for help’.

Why did you keep calling him? Pull over and look the place up or find closer parking using your eyes.

if you can’t manage carrying the toddler short distance take the pram. Even if you are unsure you are in car so you can have a contingency.

mad to keep calling him as if he could do anything about it.

op, you should leave the thread, you asked if your dh was right, as you were starting to think he was, people have told you yes, he is right, you’re now fighting everyone who dares suggest such a thing,

just hide the thread, you clearly don’t wish to accept you’re in thr wrong. You would have been better not to start it if you only wanted people to say your husband should apologise.

Sorry?

You are hard work and it’s absolutely ridiculous that you can’t plan your own journey or cope with walking a child back to your car.

As for expecting an apology from your poor husband that’s absurd and I wouldn’t be surprised that he gets fed up with you and the next time he put the directions in, he sends you to to Timbuktu!

To answer the question in the title of if you’re disrespectful? Yes. Very. If you speak to your husband, in the same way you answer the posts on here, even the ones that are trying to be helpful.

Maybe have a little think about that.

You had a crap day. It happens.

When you entered the shopping centre car park you should have exited into the shopping centre instead of going down industrial ramps etc. It wasn't what you wanted - a street exit - but that's usually how shopping centre parking works. Then you'd have gone out onto the street to the party and would have simply taken a lift back up to your level after the party. The way you exited the car park created most of your problems.

When you got home you'd have said to dh "hey you sent me to the wrong parking place" and he likely would have said "sorry about that"

Classic troll response. You’ve left 6 comments on here. I’m not fighting people if they have the right information and are giving an opinion. I am calling people out who have taken my words and twisted them or just been plain unhelpful.

I’d love to see where I’ve been rude to anyone being helpful.

😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

You’re not very nice to him. Do you actually like him?

OP I genuinely think you may have been drinking, have you?

Where did I say I kept calling him? I called him once and had a reason to.

I'm afraid you do sound rather rude in how you reacted and are now responding. I think it's probably best to just put the whole thing behind you.

I think he tried to be helpful and the SatNav wasn’t correct (which happens all the time with Satnavs - we’ve all been there!).

From what you’ve written you appear to be blaming him for a lot including having to walk down a dangerous ramp. You are your own agent and this is a decision you made.

Frustrating and annoying situation, but no apology required from him that I can see. I do hope you’ve apologised for taking your frustration out on him.

We all have stressful times and sometimes we lash out but saying ‘we were both so tired’ and that your hips ect.. hurt from carrying 10kg child, sounds really pathetic, grow up OP, there afe worse things going on in the world.

What about just accepting your were wrong….just look at the poll vote!🤷‍♀️

Behave yourself as your husband will likely get really sick of your rages

OP you're totally bonkers! 😂

No. Do you ask because I’ve corrected those who jumped to incorrect conclusions and/or who are unnecessarily unkind.

It might seem unorthodox on a mn thread, but I’d correct anyone IRL who listened to something I said gave advice but repeated back incorrect information when doing so. Why not on here?

I don't know if yabu but your answers sound like
'I know you are, but what am I?'

You are back in now. Have a nice cup of tea.

Fair. Rages are no fun. However, I can accept if I’m in the wrong, I cannot accept some of the inaccuracies and trolling on here. I’m ok to put the record straight on those.

Great idea and shortbread I have.