Starting to wonder if DH is right and I’m disrespectful?

[kindnessforthewin]

Took DC1 (almost 3) to party this morning. DH stayed at home with DC2 (under weather from nursery/sleeping).

DH helped me leave, took my phone and put in address to car park then connected to car, so I just got in car and left.

When arrived didn’t recognise it, only been to this party venue once; the car park was opposite but i thought just different entrance. Couldn’t get out carpark; all signs were for shopping centre and I needed street level.

Finally found a way out into the deliveries section, definitely wasn’t for the public, had no idea where I was, messaged DH saying I’m so lost then google maps told me I was 5 min walk away! Not opposite like last time. I said wrong car park, he said no just you left wrong exit.

Got to party, saw the right carpark and took a pic; also said DC1 was so tired as took so long to get out carpark and walk (no pram). No apology, and then during party DH said ‘it was wrong car park are you going to find way back there ok?’ No apology. I said yes just same way we came.

Was dreading walk back; DC1 still naps and it was right over nap time so left a bit early and had to carry all 17.5kg him (plus party bag, balloon, my bag, his water). If I thought getting out was hard, getting in was impossible, tried the fire exit door I left from but no access from outside; messages DH to say we are stuck and nap time is going to be hard as he’s so exhausted, replied ‘oh no’.

Then walked up entrance ramp to get in, dangerous, and we are so tired from trying to get in anyway. Then couldn’t find car as I knew it was level 2 but it was labelled as 1A, man told me to go down to level 1 but I knew it wasn’t but also couldn’t see car. Called DH to ask him to beep/flash car from app and of course was stressed, so shouted saying I wish he didn’t baby me and just put the address of party in, I was ok to find car parking, etc.

When I got home (DC1 fell asleep in car) DH wouldn’t talk to me; I said it was stressful and when I asked why he was ignoring me he said that I’m disrespectful and shouldn’t call him up purely to shout and I’m teaching DC1 that’s ok. I was calling him to beep/flash primarily but it was really stressful in the moment with such a tired toddler.
My shoulder and hip is already in bits from being on mat leave for a year with DC2 who is now 10kg, have been exited about him starting nursery a couple days as they’re big kids and my body needs a break. Not today. It was painful and stressful.

I do get stressed at him over things from time to time but wondering if that’s normal with a young family.

AIBU to be so stressed in the moment and also to want an apology or acknowledgment for his error? I couldn’t imagine doing that and not being so apologetic. I know he didn’t mean it, he was trying to help but my word did it cause so much stress. I don’t get he didn’t say my mistake so sorry hope it’s ok.

You are bonkers OP
i get it stressful - but none of what you describe is your husband’s fault
absolutely none of it

You are a grown woman right? Because I can honestly tell you o don’t rely/make/expect my OH to put directions into the car, help me get ready to leave, memorise the area I have driven to, help me when I am already there, etc etc.

OP learning some independence is needed now.

What about not saying ‘oops my bad, sorry’ or something equivalent.

Lost in all the waffle about parking I think this was OP's question. She didn't need him to set the satnav and in the end the postcode he chose was an unhelpful one so when she yelled at him for babying her that was what she meant.

Very unreasonable of you, sounds like he was trying to be helpful. I get that unexpected situations like this can be a bit stressful but nowhere near the big deal you've made it. He is overreacting as well though. There's the entire Himalayas here out of a couple of molehills.

Are you always so irate?

Yes you should, how many people have to tell you you need to apologise.

Who said I asked him to put say nav directions in? I didn’t. Hence why I said don’t baby me. AIBU strikes again. Angry people being angry.

Jeez, you need to stop being such a drama queen.

Are you incapable of either reading a map or setting a satnav yourself, or adjusting it when it has gone wrong?

Are you?

Who said I couldn’t read a map? Help me understand why you say this.

And you couldn't have just set it yourself? Did he set the sat nav and then put it in a locked box to prevent you touching it?🤣

You're not very resilient are you?

thr only irate and angry person is you. Your husband has done nothing wrong.

and your behaviour was so bad I had to read it a second time as I can’t even get my head round it, and all the woe is me, I was so tired from the driving, I had to get him to beep the car as I couldn’t find it, I had to carry my child and a ballon, so I repeatedly phoned my husband for help and shouted at him,

How did you get lost in the car park though and not manage to find your way from the shopping centre to the venue?

You don’t want to be babied, but you can’t find your way out of a car park?

AIBU generally pulls of the harsher critics. It’s quite well known…. Some of the replies on here a bit OTT IMO. I’m ok to share that, aren’t I?

I voted yabu.

If you are going somewhere, you must take responsibility for yourself getting there and for your route/journey.

When you realised the satnav had taken you to the wrong place, you could have pulled over and put in the correct place.

Your DH? He has nothing to say sorry for

Controversially I think if I was patronised by someone taking my phone to sort directions I would expect them to be right and if they weren’t I’d be annoyed and expect an apology. Getting close to the venue when you have pain is reasonable too. Not sure why you couldn’t move the car…had you already been charged?
Just take the learning and don’t trust his ‘efforts’ to be practical or helpful

You say ‘don’t baby me’ and yet you messaged DH four times while you were out? Including to find the car? Come on OP, even allowing for the fact that you’re tired with two wee kids, you’re much more capable than this.

Of course it is still everyone else who is in the wrong

Let me explain it again, it was a car park specifically for the shopping centre I was not going to. I needed street level. There was no way to do that. You’re welcome.

Your poor DH.

Didn’t say in the wrong. Said dramatic.

?