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Original poster

DD cruelly dumped by BF

283 replies

OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 03:46

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

OP posts:
zaazaazoom · 13/09/2025 03:50

Oh Jesus's absolutely dont send him anything. I cant imagine anything more embarrassing.
Its not your job.
Your job is to comfort DD and tell her there are much better men out there and to move forward.

Butchyrestingface · 13/09/2025 03:51

No, don’t send it.

Allow your adult daughter the dignity of navigating her way through a relationship break-up without interference, especially of the poetic type.

LavaLaamp · 13/09/2025 03:52

Oh good god no

workingitout1234 · 13/09/2025 03:52

Do not send

OhDorWheresthesalad · 13/09/2025 03:56

Absolutely do not do that.

WhingeInTheWillows · 13/09/2025 03:57

Oh no, don’t send it. No contact with the ex at all, just support your daughter.

verycloakanddaggers · 13/09/2025 03:59

That would be so undermining.

This is not your battle, your job is to support your DD.

GoldenGirl85 · 13/09/2025 03:59

I know you’re hurting. It’s not nice when anyone does anything hurtful to our children but sending a message to the BF is not wise. Firstly, it’s likely to embarrass your daughter, especially that message. Secondly, it may not have the impact that you think it will, which will leave you really embarrassed and thirdly, this is the start of worrying trajectory that you will always involve yourself in your children’s relationships, which will become problematic.

heartbreak while brutal is normal part of life and will strengthen your daughter so just use this time to comfort her so she doesn’t spiral and feels supported. Life will deal with the ex- boyfriend.

all the best.

CinnamonBuns67 · 13/09/2025 04:01

I cringed when I thought about how I'd feel if my mum (or anyone) sent that to my ex, I'd feel humiliated. Absolutely don't send it, your daughter won't thank you (and her ex will definitely tell her if her mum messages him). Focus on comforting her.

TammyJones · 13/09/2025 04:04

No
It won’t make any difference
support your daughter
she had a lucky escape.

Billybagpuss · 13/09/2025 04:06

Is this for real, you’d seriously send him a poem?

I can just imagine the laughter when he gets it

your dd will be unbelievably embarrassed and it definitely wouldn’t land as you want it to at his end.

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 04:07

Thank you, thank you. I’m making it about me. I am supporting her and know she’d die if I sent it.
I fucking hate him but mustn’t let that skew my judgement. Glad so many of us are awake at 4am!

OP posts:
SiameseBlueEyes · 13/09/2025 04:07

Why would amateur poetry make this man reflect on his behaviour? No, don't send it.

OuijaBoard · 13/09/2025 04:09

Don't even think of sending it!!! It won't help, won't have any influence on the ex and if he's a real user or psycho he may feel happy or encouraged that he "got to" your daughter so much. And as you said, your daughter would NOT want something like this, and it's her relationship and her choice.

It's a good coping tactic to have written it AS IF you were going to send it. It may help you work off some of your anger and also kind of clarify for you why you're angry so you can let that go and focus on supporting your daughter and helping her move on. Weird as it sounds, counselors sometimes suggest writing-an-honest-letter-you-won't-send as a kind of therapeutic "letting go". Maybe write it out on a piece of paper (and delete all the electronic versions so you're not tempted to re-read or worse send it) and then burn it, or rip it up and flush it down the toilet, or throw it away in a trashcan away from your house.

Anonentity · 13/09/2025 04:09

OP, no. You’ve not to send that.

ChorizoDog · 13/09/2025 04:15

Sending this would make you famous in his friend circle, so depends what you’re going for..

Original poster
OutbackQueen · 13/09/2025 04:15

@OuijaBoard that’s brilliant advice. Several things I’ve done recently have made me question my judgement and this is one of them!

OP posts:
aurynne · 13/09/2025 04:16

OP, sorry but this is cringeworthy. If you send that he will post it all over social media to make fun of you, and further devastate your DD. Did you really think a selfish man with no self-awareness would learn anything from a poem written by his exgirlfriend's mum? Come on, you are older and should be wiser than that.

Focus on supporting your DD.

gokartdillydilly · 13/09/2025 04:27

Cringe, OP, cringe! My DH wrote a song about our DD's abusive boyfriend. A song! Thank furk that never saw the light of day - she'd have been mortified! But seriously, you already know you won't send it. Big ugs to your DD. These shitty experiences can actually be good lessons in love

PollyBell · 13/09/2025 04:28

There is not a reason to this planet i could think of a reason why you should send this at all ever, so no

Thunderpants88 · 13/09/2025 04:30

If you sent this it would be one of the stupidist things I’ve heard of someone doing. Truly embarrassing

Don’t. Delete it now and butt out

SatsumaDog · 13/09/2025 04:34

No, please don’t send him that. Just support her to move on and count yourself lucky it’s over. She is better off without him.

TesChique · 13/09/2025 04:40

Do you have form for making things about you?

jumpingthehighjump · 13/09/2025 04:41

Send it if you want to damage you and your daughter's relationship forever!

I have adult daughters. They have memories like an elephant if you were to do something like this

My DD had a horrendous relationship break up that effected her badly, I just was Mum and there for her and didn't even say "I never liked him from the start" (I really didn't!) because that is not what they need. Just be there for her.

andfinallyhereweare · 13/09/2025 04:47

Under no circumstances send that, he would be dining out on the exs mad mum who sent him a strange poem… for the love of god do not send. It’s ok to be upset for your daughter but this is not your battle, your job is to support and love her. Take all that anger and channel it into love and send it all your daughters way.