DD cruelly dumped by BF

[OutbackQueen]

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

No.

The best approach in these situations is to diminish his importance and remind her it was a lucky escape. Make her feel good, don't go on about him or how she has been wronged, let her talk but push her to see that it is a great thing that he has shown her what a tosser he is nice and early in her life, and now she knows what a bad guy looks like she'll be ready for a good one next time.

Imagine to yourself him receiving it, laughing at your poetic skills and sneering about how your adult daughter needs her mummy to defend her.

That should be enough to dissuade you from doing something as silly as sending it.

Poor op is going to wake up to increasingly cruel replies telling her not to do what she’s already decided not to do.

Insane OP

Thank goodness your DD is moving in with a friend

The very fact that the OP even considered doing this…. Is telling

I suspect he would frame it and put it up in his lounge

You can't be serious. People are allowed to end relationships it happens everyday. Don't get involved and don't send bad poetry to your daughters ex just leave him alone. Its just weird and embarrassing 😳

I agree and I can see why he wanted out of this family

@OutbackQueen - ignore the vipers. Yes hugely ill advised but you accepted that and aren’t going to send it. You clearly love your daughter a lot. This too shall pass.

Glad you posted on here and people have quite rightly told you it’s a bad idea. Just put all your effort into supporting DD. Most people have their heart broken at least once and she will get through it.

He finished a relationship
He gave it another chance presumably because DD was very keen to
Didnt work out. And decided that… yes, this definitely is over.

This happens all the time. I can’t see him being particularly heinous

People are allowed to end relationships they don’t want to be in. It doesn’t mean they’re a “shit” or whatever else he’s been called.

The poem is giving Adrian Mole. Why on earth would you think to write a poem to your daughter’s ex, let alone send it?!

Surely you should be glad she is out of this terrible relationship, not writing poems about how you'd want her back in it?

Yes. Why even consider that? Really don't get it. How would that help the daughter?

JFC for the love of God DON'T! He will tell everyone and laugh his fucking arse off you will humiliate her PLEASE DON'T!

Nooooooo!
Do not send it.

I think that
You'd be a twat.
To send the cad
Your poem so bad

Wtaf? What are you thinking? You are over involved. Take a step back and be there for your daughter. It’s her who has been dumped not you.

Adding that no matter what - do not send that.

Don't say you never liked him.

I would probably say things like "imagine if he didn't do it now but did it in the future either when you were pregnant or with a newborn imagine how awful that would be."
Just in case the fucker thinks about coming back for thirds... it'll give her pause for thought.

This is probably worth a little more thought and reflection. To get to the point of having written the poem and asked on mumsnet is a whole series of poor decisions, not just one. Is it just this worry/concern? Or are there other areas of life where you feel like you aren’t the most rational? It can be easy to lose perspective when it comes to your own child being deeply hurt but perhaps it’s not just that. It is good you asked but I also hope you have friends and family you can rely on. It’s often best to avoid action in the intensity of an emotional response.

Oh come on op, you can't send that toe curling embarrassment! Just be there, as you are, for your daughter. If the relationship wasn't right, it's the best thing it ended.

No definitely don't send that. Like you said it's would be for your own revenge not what's best for your daughter.

For thr love of god, don’t do that, I’m so embarrassed at even tne thought of it. You need to support your adult daughter when she wishes it, but really focus on your own life. This is just so so wrong to even consider doing such a thing.