DD cruelly dumped by BF

[OutbackQueen]

My 25 year old DD has recently been dumped in a very cruel way by her boyfriend. He did it once, said he’d made a terrible mistake, reeled her back in and then did it again.
She’s moved back in with me and is planning to go and live with a friend in London. I’m hurting for her and wrote this and want to send it to him. The only thing that’s stopping me is worrying that she might find out (although she’s blocked him on everything.)
It would make me feel better but is that just wanting revenge? Should I send it?

“She never knew him
The man who said he loved her
The man she thought would never hurt her
He knocked her down
Helped her up
And then did it again
He blamed her for it all
When she had done nothing
But give him her constant heart
She will never understand why
But one day, before too long
She will cease to care”

Please OP has this been a thing you’ve done before?

Don't sent this dreadful poem or whatever it's meant to be. Just keep out of it and support your DD if she wants to talk.

DO NOT DO THIS!

I understand your daughter is upset and I have been in her position but he is free to end a relationship for any reason he wants.

@OutbackQueen I’m glad you’ve decided not to send it. It hurts a lot to see your adult child in pain but agree with others it’s good to just comfort and know she will be better soon. It’s also good the BF doesn’t know too much about how she’s feeling.

Concentrate on her move to live with her friend - this will be so positive for her! And she will be over him and having fun with friends x

OP, going forward, just don’t send poems ever.
You can’t go too far wrong then.

Please do not send that. Your daughter would not thank you for it, quite the opposite (and he is likely to tell her).

This isn't about you. Of course you feel your daughter's pain, you're her mother, but it is not your business.

It's certainly not for you to seek 'revenge', which is a horrible emotion anyway, and attempts at trite 'poetry' will only make you look stupid. I feel embarrassed that you would even consider it!

I especially appreciate your comment @ISpyNoPlumPie and those who have been constructive or funny. I can see the folly of my ways and yes, I do have a tendency to act impulsively and sometimes irrationally; thank God the impulse was checked this time by consulting a bunch of complete strangers at 4am.
To the “vipers” and whoever said they could see how he wanted out of this family and that it was a good thing DD was moving out, that’s plain cruel. I deserve ridicule and contempt yes but not comments like that.

That is the most cringe thing ever. Keep out of it. Your daughter is hurt but she's an adult that doesn't need her mum meddling. You'll make her the laughing stock when he shows his friends what you have done. She has had a breakup , she's 25 , it will be one of many ...

I’m assuming this thread is a joke? I just can’t believe anyone would even write that shit, let alone consider sending it. I bet the OP has been having a right laugh at people taking it seriously.

Was anyone else thinking of Adrian Mole and Pandora 😂

Glad you've given your own head a wobble. There's never a justifiable reason for sending bad poetry.

He's allowed to leave a relationship, it doesn't make him a bad person.

I had a break up when I was a similar age and I was so grateful to my mum for being there fir me. She took me out, made me laugh and distracted me. I know you've said you won't send the message now. Just focus on being there for your daughter.

An ex-friend sent me a weird 3rd person poem after we drifted apart. It scared me a bit to be honest.

Sending that verse says that he matters……and he doesn’t. It’s your DD that matters. I understand that she’s hurting now, that her heart has been crushed but with your love and support she will get through this, she will move on.
Tell yourself and her that this is his loss, he is losing more than he will ever know.

Agree

This. Also, sorry OP but this "poem" is truly, genuinely terrible.

Most people who try to write poetry are terrible at it. You are no exception.

Actually I’m almost in tears and feel like crawling into a hole and not coming out. Some of you will think I deserve to feel that way but I’m glad I posted because it’s stopped me from sending it and made me appreciate something about myself which I was only obliquely aware of.
I’m leaving the thread now but have learned a lesson.

You need to get some perspective. Nobody here knows you and you dodged a bullet, no need for tears or shame. Just ask for the thread to be taken down and think two, three or four times before you react emotionally in future.

On the plus side, obviously you love your daughter. And you are capable of learning and seeing new perspectives. Both good things.

Why an earth would you send that? You would just look crazy.

OP I get your vicarious pain, what a love bombing tosser.Hopefully dd will realise she dodged a bullet. I’m glad you’re not sending this. When dd in a better place you may be able to have a laugh about it and that will be a good thing.

I know you’ve decided not to send, but it’s a good thing to get people’s perspective on how it might be received, in case you’re tempted to contact him at all.

What you’re expressing is your own pain, not hers. He will read it as the sentimental ramblings of someone who is irrelevant to him. It won’t begin to touch him emotionally and will make you a figure of ridicule. If you send it you give him more power, power to embarrass and humiliate your DD.

Focus on her, she has a plan to get over him, with your support she will. She’s a lucky girl to have such a caring mum.

For Gods sake no! What are you thinking of? This isn’t about you. Comfort you daughter, that’s your job, and help her understand that people get hurt and survive.

Where does it say he love bombed her? They split up, he thought he made a mistake then realised he hadn't. Now he's being called all sorts of names.

Fucking hell people are mean on AIBU though.

I entirely understand the desire to get your disgust at his behaviour across to him. Personally I’d want to punish him in some unpleasant ways, but the best way forward is to support her to move on with her life.