To find my husband disgusting

[Pinktize]

He turned 47 recently but I feel hes 80. He snores so much and he always sleeps on his back and when I gently push him he tells me to fuck off. He eats his food so fast he has to lie on the floor. He tells me long long stories about something from Tesco and I hate listening to him! He slurps yoghurt. Sometimes he has snot hanging from his nose. And I can hear his sneezes from anywhere in the house. I find myself trying to physically avoid him. When I see old couples around I think about it being us and I hate the idea of it being me and him.

I feel horrible. Hes not particularly nice but honestly the feelinh now is so physical. I feel really harsh. I wish it wasnt like this. We went to counselling and I obviously didnt say any of this but we talked about physical closeness and I was just screaming NOOOO in my head

I feel pretty horrible about it.

What do you mean he eats so fast he lies on the floor?

@Lifesd he often eats his dinner really fast and it gives him hiccups/discomfort snd he leaves the table and goes lies on the floor and groans or he just lies on the sofa. Leaving me and the kids. They find it hilarious this groaning bloke hiccuping but I dont. I know I sound like a miserable cow!

You need to leave.

I could not be putting up with someone like this.
It gave me the ick never mind you.
There’s no coming back from how you feel and you need to divorce and get on with your life.
Kids will be fine and I’m sure after a while, so will he.

It’s run it’s course, it happens (a lot) time to move on you will both be much happier

Do you want to live like this for the next 10, 20, 30, 40 years?

Or would you be happier starting afresh by yourself?

Best of luck, OP

This isn’t a feeling you can overcome. If he made a huge effort and tried to win you back, maybe. But even then, once you’ve got the ick like that it’s unlikely.

You need to start planning to leave and rebuilding your self-respect. It’s not just that he disgusts you (though that’s a good reason for leaving a marriage all by itself), it sounds like he doesn’t really care about you either. He isn’t interested in you, he isn’t interested in making you happy. Don’t throw good years after bad.

Nothing worse than being in a situation like that. I understand you and see why you are still there if you have young kids. It must be very hard and you may feel trapped.

I had this with my first husband. The snoring, smoking, lack of toilet hygiene, and BO. It really put me off. I was honest with him and tried to get him to understand, but he brushed me off as "superficial". So he didn't want to address it until it was too late and I checked out.

My second husband had excellent hygiene and grooming and I was always attracted to him. For 17 years. Sadly, he died.

Life is too short to live with someone who disgusts you. It's not an inevitable part of living with a man, there are some decent ones out there. Yours doesn't sound like one of them.

You’ve only been together ten years?!

This is what I’d think from someone who’s been with their partner 30 years. No.

This particular issue could indicate a hiatus hernia. I have one and honestly, this is how I often feel during/after eating (I’m not rushing my food though…I eat like a ‘normal person!) It is a painful and unpleasant feeling. He maybe needs to get himself checked out OP.

The rest, however, is ick-worthy…I couldn’t live with a man like this.

So it’s happened gradually and you’ve never bothered to be truthful?
You might end up leaving him but it would be nice if you explained why.
Long time married here and yes I would have mentioned each of the concerns; snoring, digestive, and basic cleanliness (need to blow his nose etc.) tactfully.

OP life is too short to live like this. You deserve to be happy, you either have to tell him and see if he can change or you just end it. Your kids won’t be damaged by this but you staying in a miserable marriage will

He tells you to F off, no wonder you're repulsed by him

Whaaat????

You didn't answer this OP

Mine just farted loudly in the bed so I'm on the sofa not sleeping. So fucking disgusting. They are pigs most of them. Tbf it's rare, he must have thought I was asleep. Vile.

Im just thinking, hes 47 so Im guessing you are around the same age? Maybe a wee bit younger? - at least early 40's?

Im not throwing it all back in your court btw

Perimenopause can have you multiplying 10 fold. So all these "disgusting" habits were probably always there but where as in the past you didnt see them, now they are triggering every last nerve you have

Also if you are around that age, you are probably at your sexual peak , and there you are with a man who has let himself go

How me and DH are still together I won't ever know

But now post menopause and all the PITA habit DH has, of which are many, they have again faded into the background

What Im saying is not to listen to the LTB shout outs , unless you feel the whole marriage is down the pan because it really should just be a life stage "moment" and is so, feelings and attitude will change

I could have walked out so many times in my late 40's. Now here we are in our very early 60's happy as Larry together . Im sat here listening to him snoring and farting away as he sleeps and I know when I do get to bed the sheets will be too warm for me and he will insist on wrapping himself around me like a limpet to a rock. But where as in my 40's Id be giving off and physically kicking him to move over and leave me be, I can now cope with it , until a flush comes along where as I move over, pushing him over if I have to and get myself a good nights sleep - and wake up to find Ive wrapped myself around him

No, she’s bloody not. Sometimes we can’t help how we feel, no matter how hard we try.
OP, you must leave him. There is no future here and you don’t want a life of regret.

Please, separate.

You both deserve better.

He eats his food so fast he has to lie on the floor

Am trying to picture this but … #SendHelp

Lying here next to a snoring oaf who shouts out every time he turns in bed🙄. OP how old are you? I found HRT helped me massively, my husband just had to breathe and I found him annoying before HRT. Also sending him into the office to work more has really helped too.

People always say that these superficial things don’t matter but they really do. A true connection with a person will possibly overlook these things but you just cannot spend days with someone you cannot physically stand to be around and still expect to love them.

Has he always been this way? If not then he deserves to know that he has changed the parameters of your relationship. If he has then you have changed.

It's ok to stop loving someone.

It's also ok for anyone to end a relationship even without a reason.

You can ignore the Counsellor because you didn't tell them the truth.

No. You can't cone back from this. No. Nothing will improve

End the relationship. Run away very fast