To find my husband disgusting

[Pinktize]

He turned 47 recently but I feel hes 80. He snores so much and he always sleeps on his back and when I gently push him he tells me to fuck off. He eats his food so fast he has to lie on the floor. He tells me long long stories about something from Tesco and I hate listening to him! He slurps yoghurt. Sometimes he has snot hanging from his nose. And I can hear his sneezes from anywhere in the house. I find myself trying to physically avoid him. When I see old couples around I think about it being us and I hate the idea of it being me and him.

I feel horrible. Hes not particularly nice but honestly the feelinh now is so physical. I feel really harsh. I wish it wasnt like this. We went to counselling and I obviously didnt say any of this but we talked about physical closeness and I was just screaming NOOOO in my head

I feel pretty horrible about it.

Life is way too short. Do you want to spend the rest of your days feeling like that ? I think it's time you moved on.

He sounds reclusive. Leave while you can.

Tbf if you heard a man describe his wife like you described your husband in your op would you think "that poor man" or would you think "what a cruel pig"?

What were the things that attracted you to him initially?

You've got the ick. And there is no coming back from that.

He sounds foul and nasty.
Why would you want to be with him?
Don't waste you life on him if you can plan and exit.

Most men eat really fast. Most men snore , some less, some more noisily. Most couples sleep apart, about sneezing, all men do sneeze, most of them very noisily. Most men will want to talk to their wives about who they seen in the shops. Some men might slurp. Only the lack of nose hygiene.

why do you hate the poor chap so much

Hey OP what I remember clearly from marriage guidance is that when one partner is repulsed or revolted by the other, the relationship is over. Snoring is difficult but the rest sounds worse. Don't force yourself, it sounds like you should end it. [Flowers]

Are you the same age as him and peri? I really loathed my husband for a while. I feel dreadful about it now and hope he didn't realise. He's absolutely lovely.

Do you suffer with depression OP? I only ask as at one point I thought my marriage was over, very much a lot of the same thoughts you’ve expressed here but I was also depressed. I went to the doctors help and realised that as much as he irritated me on occasion a lot of it was due to my hormones and now things are normal again. Of course your DP needs to realise he needs to change some of his behaviours too cos some of it is just gross and completely unnecessary x

Most couples sleep apart? Really? Not any of the couples I know.

It's not a right and wrong thing. There is no point in negotiating anything now. Split up in a calm and dignified manner. There is no shame in that.

I was in a trial separation from my XH and in the spirit of trying to be open to all possibilities, I went along with a sexual situation with him. I had a reaction of such revulsion that I dont think I managed to hide it. I knew then that it was a no go, and made plans accordingly (and it was not easy). Best thing I ever did and although I didn't know it then, a whole new life awaited me, sexually and in every other way.

YABU to still be married to him when you clearly cannot stand him! Divorce and do both of you a favour.

Talk about it in therapy OP. It may be your only chance to move things on. You can say that you dislike the way he slurps yoghurt and the way hes disrespectful to you for trying to get him to be quiet so you can sleep. You can say Dislike rather than Disgust. Hopefully the therapist will support you in getting him to take this seriously. If not at least you tried, and you can work out how to break up peacefully.

From the ones where the man snores too loud

Most couples sleep apart?

is that true? I mean, it sounds blissful as I like noise when I sleep and he doesn’t and that wins, but I don’t know anyone who sleeps apart.

I dont want to be cruel. I really dont. Im using an anonymous website because I wouldn't say this out loud to anyone.

The stories about Tesco...im not trying to be a dick. Just he comes home and talks to me about the fact hes done some calculation and actually the bigger bag of onions is better value etc..well you get the idea. He talks AT me. He doesnt ask how I am or have interest in me. I used to try and book date nights and things but it was never returend. But something has changed in the last few years. Ive felt ignored for a long time. Thats what we went to therapy for. But then this feelinh of repulsion came in and it just gets stronger and I feel horrible for admitting it.

I dont want to be cruel. I really dont. Im using an anonymous website because I wouldn't say this out loud to anyone.

The stories about Tesco...im not trying to be a dick. Just he comes home and talks to me about the fact hes done some calculation and actually the bigger bag of onions is better value etc..well you get the idea. He talks AT me. He doesnt ask how I am or have interest in me. I used to try and book date nights and things but it was never returend. But something has changed in the last few years. Ive felt ignored for a long time. Thats what we went to therapy for. But then this feelinh of repulsion came in and it just gets stronger and I feel horrible for admitting it.

What the fuck

I’m really confused as to why you’re still with him.

I told my ‘D’ H tonight he ate his dinner like a pig as he troughed and chowed down on it - straw that tipped me after a very long day today 🥴 he’s now snoring like a dying walrus on the sofa in a mood (not envy!)

OP, a decade is nothing. I’ve been with DH for three decades, and will likely be with him for another three.

If you feel like this after ten years, divorce him. You two aren’t suited and this won’t get better.

I think you need to talk to a therapist alone and really work through it. It's ok to not fancy someone or be interested in them, but feeling rage and repulsion is not ok. I suspect you have deep seated anger and resentment towards him that is coming out in a physical way.

I'd start with the snoring issue and separate at night, better sleep in the kitchen on a pull out bed than with a snorer. I don't think it would take me long to hate someone who kept me awake at night. As for the snotty nose, I don't understand why you can't tell him and he wipes it? If not that's something you need to address, poor hygiene isn't ok.

Can you explain what you mean by eating so much he needs to lie on the floor? This seems so strange!