To find my husband disgusting

[Pinktize]

He turned 47 recently but I feel hes 80. He snores so much and he always sleeps on his back and when I gently push him he tells me to fuck off. He eats his food so fast he has to lie on the floor. He tells me long long stories about something from Tesco and I hate listening to him! He slurps yoghurt. Sometimes he has snot hanging from his nose. And I can hear his sneezes from anywhere in the house. I find myself trying to physically avoid him. When I see old couples around I think about it being us and I hate the idea of it being me and him.

I feel horrible. Hes not particularly nice but honestly the feelinh now is so physical. I feel really harsh. I wish it wasnt like this. We went to counselling and I obviously didnt say any of this but we talked about physical closeness and I was just screaming NOOOO in my head

I feel pretty horrible about it.

So why marry him? Did he suddenly change, or was he just convenient for the mortgage?
Best to communicate, if you can.

op, did you really like him physically at the beginning....before my husband I had a partner whom I just liked as a character and safe person, but he repulsed me in some parts of his physical traits. It was not his fault....just he was not that manly or ....hard to explain and this is why I left on time, before marriage and kids and all this

Hi op maybe you should have told him as it might have helped you by being honest in a safe place also to see if it can be fixed. I would say if your not happy and have no young kids get out you really won’t change how you feel unless he got ill and you felt guilt or an obligation but I get some people just can’t walk away so easily. No judgement here.

Normal again @Finallyfree41

are you really happy? Or have you settled?

hormones don’t make you dislike your husband, but they may fire you up to do something about it. Sounds like you’ve resigned yourself

@CelestialFilly no, the change has been gradual. Of cpurse it didnt feel like this at the beginning. And I owned my own place when I met him and he moved in with me, so no, the £ wasnt part of it at all.

You planning to leave during the 4th?

Plenty of time to get her ducks in a row. 😂

I do have young kids.

I dont find other humans disgusting. And im definitely not a lesbian. But also I think I would be alright with never having ssx again. Im 41. Really - I like my job and my kids and my friends. And apart from that I do kind of feel like I just want to be left alone.

The details don't matter, its the fact that you are distressed and repulsed about it all. You dont have to justify why his boring stories turn you off, they just do. That's enough.

My XH was a very intelligent and interesting man who always had a crowd hanging on to his stories. He was witty, funny, great company. I was never bored with him. My now DH spends a fair amount of time telling me stuff that I am not really interested in and I nod and make occasional interactions (part of living with a man, I believe). Yet, I got to the point where I couldn't be in the same room as XH, but I can happily jump on DH any time, after 20 years.

When you know you know.

DH and I were once in a pub talking to a guy with snot hanging out of his nose. He went to the toilets and we expected him to come back a changed man, but no, there is was, still hanging out of his nose. We laugh about it 10 years later

I knew when I found myself feeling like this about my ex, it was because the relationship had run its course and I didn't love him. So I ended it

41 was the age I left my first marriage and restarted my life. Full of beans, very sexually confident. Don't wait, get out now. I am now 62 and I wouldn't want to he starting again now.

I think it’s only fair to be honest especially about the sex if you don’t want it with him give him the chance to move on and you too. Resentment will just build up between you both.

Same!

OP, I think physical revulsion is a sign of lots of other things wrong. You'll only find out what they are in retrospect, because they all seem normal to you now. You have a lot of finding out to do.

Life is not something to be endured through gritted teeth. 💗

Well then do that. I did. Not had sex or a partner for 10 years now and more than extremely happy with my children and my friends and my life. My life happiness has increased exponentially since divorcing

So leave him. You've only been with him a decade, image how you'll feel after another five of them.

For reference, 20 years in I still find DP interesting, stunning, and my favourite person to be around.

That's what you should be aiming for. If you stay with him while hating him, you'll just be screwing up yours, his, and your childrens lives.

You sound like you find him repulsive. I think once you reach that point, there's no going back - you're not going to wake up one day and find that you fancy him again. You don't even sound like you like him. Do him a big favour and leave.

Regardless what a horrid person you are feeling all this towards someone you share a life with.

I just wanted to know if anyone thinks you can come back from this. The counsellor said we need to find time together alone, make an effort, think aboit what we used to do together at the start. I dont want to do any of that. But I want to try to avoid upsetting my kids and causing him pain. I want to try for them. If I could be gone without causing people pain...id be gone without a doubt. But I camt. So I wondered if anyone thinks things can ever improve if you force yourself to try with someone again.

So leave him. You can’t come back from this. You don’t respect him.

He sounds utterly revolting

Yuck, I'd have made a run for it when he went to the toilet.

I dont want to do any of that.

Well there's your answer then.

You can't fix something you have no desire to fix. You don't love him.

I haven't rtft so apologies if I missed a post relevant. To me, this almost sounds like death by a thousand cuts. The examples you gave in their own right aren't awful, but there are things that happened before the examples you gave that make the snoring and long winded stories just another thing to tolerate. That's what you need to look at, and decide if it's something that's fixable.

Leave. You're not being a saint staying with him. Someone else might love him to bits.