Mad about DP refusing to do School Run

[LittlePeachh]

As the title says, AIBU to be mad about the fact my DP is refusing to do the school run?

Before we would take turns, but he seems to think I should do it every morning as I’m off on Mat Leave. He WFH. Usually doesn’t start until after I return back from dropping DC off.

By this point I’ve done the night feeds, got DC up, made breakfast, got DC ready whilst feeding and changing the baby AND getting myself ready. He’s happy to be awake, in bed and for me to leave the baby. But I’m shattered, even completing the most mundane household tasks takes all my effort.
baby goes back to sleep just after 8am and usually just before leaving for school run. DP dropping DC off means I could pop back to bed for a little while which would help with getting everything done before pickup.

Am I right to be mad or do I need to put on big girl pants and get on with it?

He should 100% do the school run. What a lazy, selfish little twat.

Edited to add, you could take turns or he could just do it if he’s had a lovely sleep while you’ve been up all night with the baby.

This sort of behaviour will only get worse as the kids get older, and you will become more and more resentful.

I should mention that I’m not expecting this every morning, just once or twice a week. I do all pick ups and take DC to their clubs etc afterwards.

Wtaf. You’re on mat leave to care for the baby not be your DH’s skivvy!! If you’ve been up in the night with the baby he should be doing all the school runs. Why does he get the lie in??! Makes no sense at all. Put your foot down.

I’m getting more angry about the situation and the fact he thinks it’s fair or acceptable.

DC still doesn’t sleep through and is currently up more than the baby. I feel more knackered doing the school run etc than I was after a full day at work.

DH always has done the morning runs with the exception here and there. He does not wfh and works incredibly hard/long hours. I do the all the pick ups. It works for us and neither feels they’re doing more than the other. Your husband is behaving terribly. You’re on mat leave and need mornings to be slow or where you can catch up on sleep. Not rushing out in the morning cold, and I hope not with the new born. Nip this lethargy in the bud before he continues to become more useless.

Yes. You should most definitely be mad!!

Your P is NOT DOING ANY NIGHT WAKINGS AND THEN STAYING IN BED WHILE YOU GET UP AND DO THE SCHOOL RUN.

Do you not see the complete absurdity of this?? If he isn’t doing the night wakings, why does he get the lie in?

I’d be telling him that it’s 50/50 on the school run from here on out and he has to do a full week to begin with to make up for all the ones you’ve done by yourself.

Does he not recognise that mat leave is for YOUR body to heal? And it’s not going to do that on zero sleep.

He’s a shit dad and a shit “partner”. No wonder you’re angry, I’m angry for you.

Your husband is a selfish pig.

I wrote some more but deleted it as the 1 sentence above covers it!

Sorry, am living in a parallel universe??

In what way could you possibly be being unreasonable?

Is your bar so low that you have to ask random people whether you are being unreasonable after not long giving birth, being up in the night feeding a baby, getting children ready for school and then doing the school run?? Whilst your P (he isn't a dear or darling so why call him DP?) deigns to look after his own child while you take the kids to school.

I despair

Fgs get the lazy effer out of bed

He is amazingly selfish. If he wing do the school run am then he can all the clubs and other activities or does that bc

He is amazingly selfish, if he can't do the morning school run then he can do all the after school drop off clubs etc, parties particularly hellish ones at soft play, or does that conflict with his chill time.

He should be very ashamed - I hope you show him this thread

He's being lazy. You are on maternity to recover from birth and support your baby, not to do ALL childcare. Nowhere does ot say hes supposed to stop his responsibilities.

Id say he can either do school runs or he can do his own washing or dinner. Go on strike. If hes not helpful then neither are you.

DM got up in the night to me but when DB came along, DF got up to me. When DB 2 came along, DF had two kids on his list.

Your DH is mean to you. I’m so sorry.

Even putting the inherent unfairness aside, driving tired is as dangerous as driving drunk:

https://www.sleepfoundation.org/drowsy-driving/drowsy-driving-vs-drunk-driving

The lazy fucker's putting your lives in danger just to sit in bed.

Is the bar for men really this low?!

I don't think he should be expected to do all of the school runs. I absolutely think he should do at least half of them, however. Especially as his work schedule clearly allows for this.

What else does he think is your job that he refuses to do or share?

Was he this selfish and useless before you had a second child with him?

What a lazy prick. I’m on maternity leave and my dh has done the majority of school runs wfh. We both get up with the older one and get ready, but he’d let me stay in bed if I needed it.

Thanks for your replies!
He done drops off’s prior to now, usually with me present but would take me.
if he was able to, he’d do collection if I asked and he was able too.
I didn’t drive / have a car and now that I do, he’s refusing.

I’m going to fight my corner tomorrow (well today). Not that I should have to and it’s absolutely sad that I need too.

At the very least why isn't he getting up and getting DC1 ready for school/breakfast etc. so that you could at least have an hour or so in bed. Then whilst you do the school run he can grab a shower and coffee before he starts work.

To let you do all the night wakings/feeding, then also get up and get the children ready/give them breakfast and go out on the school run whilst he lays in bed is just ridiculous!!

He clearly doesn’t care about her health/well being

If he doesn’t understand how tired you are, you could wake him up every single time you wake during the night? 🤷🏼‍♀️ He needs to step up big time and parent/husband!

Going from 1-2 is hard enough as it is without having a lazy second parent. He needs to spend a day in your shoes to realise, if he thinks it’s so easy ask him to do 1 morning with both DC and the school run. Your full time job currently is looking after the baby, he should be stepping up with your other DC. Ironic that his life has gotten easier with the birth of a second baby!

So my husband (not always the most helpful domestically) always did school drop off half the time, even if that made him slightly late for work. He works in a v high pressured job and is a high earner while I was a SAHM. It was time to talk to his children (he was late home) and it gave me a break. You should be having equal ‘leisure time’ - if one does the night shift, the other should do the morning shift to allow for a short lie in / break!

We also had a rule that we woke up at the same time and whoever wasn’t doing drop off was the person responsible for getting the older one ready for school etc. He obvs reneged on this regularly (!) and wasn’t the most efficient, but the concept is sound.