Mad about DP refusing to do School Run

[LittlePeachh]

As the title says, AIBU to be mad about the fact my DP is refusing to do the school run?

Before we would take turns, but he seems to think I should do it every morning as I’m off on Mat Leave. He WFH. Usually doesn’t start until after I return back from dropping DC off.

By this point I’ve done the night feeds, got DC up, made breakfast, got DC ready whilst feeding and changing the baby AND getting myself ready. He’s happy to be awake, in bed and for me to leave the baby. But I’m shattered, even completing the most mundane household tasks takes all my effort.
baby goes back to sleep just after 8am and usually just before leaving for school run. DP dropping DC off means I could pop back to bed for a little while which would help with getting everything done before pickup.

Am I right to be mad or do I need to put on big girl pants and get on with it?

Do you really think you don't deserve a better partner and father for your children? Get rid of the useless twunt and enjoy your life.

He's a lazy selfish sod.

Can you give us his reasoning for not taking the children when he used to?

The above blood thirsty harpies are having a feeding frenzy on your vague explanation of the situation.

I think DP is in the wrong definitely. I think parenting is about partnership and helping each other - accepting things can’t always be 50 50 of course but it’s good to help each other.

I think you should have a proper, sit down talk with dp and ask him WHY he won’t help: tell him how tired/stressed you are. Come up with a schedule if that’ll help (he does mon tues wed, you do thurs fri and pick up.)
how long does the school run take? Is it a drive away or long walk?

ask him how he thinks he will manage the school runs and parenting when he leaves and has to have them for 50% of the time …you might find he picks up a bit but he’s an arsehole and you deserve better - chuck him out and live your own life. It’s much easier managing on your own that having to live like this believe me!

‘Blood thirsty harpies’?

Holy Hyperbole Batman.

You being on maternity leave is not supposed to be do your dp can offload his chores. Does he really think this is what it’s for?

The baby is sleeping. That’s the point. After having done night feeds and morning routine the OP could get some much needed sleep with baby

He’s not working when the Op does the school run. Are you saying because he will be working later he should be excused from all domestic work during non working hours too?
he used to share drop offs. Maternity leave isn’t there for the other parent to offload their share of work onto the mother

He sounds like an awful partner.

Blood thirsty harpies.

No.

Just women who think that a fellow mum who has been up all night shouldn’t have to get up, get herself and her child ready for the school run and leave her partner (who has had a full nights sleep) in bed ‘looking after’ a napping baby before his full day of working from home.

@Mandemikc reasons gave -

He’s working and I’m currently not.
It gives him time with the baby. He’s doing some work on his phone during this time.
Also, that’s why he got me a car & one statement of ‘that’s a mums job’…

From the above, you could conclude that I’ve tried to discuss the subject numerous times.

OP, this is a horrible relationship with a very selfish man.
You need to start planning.
He is not a good man.
Have you family to support you?
Stop having children with this loser.
Start getting organised to go it alone when you can.
Take your time.
In the meantime, do absolutely nothing for him.

You are currently working. Looking after a baby is actually a 24/7 job.

He's just told you that he doesn't value your reproductive labour.

Exactly this. A man should be doing more housework and childcare when his partner has just had a baby, not less.

So essentially he won’t do it as it’s “women’s work” and he got you a car?! I’d be tempted to suggest you’re not fit to drive due to sleep deprivation.

I remember so clearly those days, they were tough. He should be chipping in and doing the majority until you're in more of a routine.

‘Chipping in’? No. Doing his share of parenting.

Hi a reasons are horribly thin-veiled excuses. It looks as though he just doesn't want to parent and thinks the responsibility lies with you at those times.

Somewhere he has flipped his thinking and it could very well be as simple as he is having a hard time managing how stressed he is with children. This is common among men. It is also all too common that men don't know how to express how stressful children are for them. The signs look like laziness and uncaring when it is more likely avoidance.

Have a deep conversation with him. Try, as much as you can, to be understand and see if you can break through his walls.

How is it going? Any effort to be seen at all?