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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Teacher not saying hello

257 replies

Hc1984 · 10/09/2025 14:25

My son has just started reception it's literally day 4. He only turned 4 on the 26th of August so he's the youngest in his class. We had a meeting with his teacher and head teacher before we made the decision to send him or wait till next year. They were very supportive and said he was ready from what they can see. He went to nursery 3 days a week at the school.

So he started along with his friends from nursery. But he has been crying every morning. The teacher hasn't even said morning once. He is taken from my from the teaching assistant. I understand the main teacher is busy and there are lots of partners and children, but she know my son is the youngest, we were worried about him starting and she hasn't even made the effort.

Am I wrong for emailing the school.

OP posts:
Octavia64 · 10/09/2025 14:28

Yes.

the teacher and teaching assistant together manage the class.

the teaching assistant is spending time with him.

it is unreasonable to request the teacher does this.

SallySuperTrooper · 10/09/2025 14:29

Absolutely. He is acknowledged and welcomed, why would it be different coming from the teacher?

Original poster
Hc1984 · 10/09/2025 14:30

Octavia64 · 10/09/2025 14:28

Yes.

the teacher and teaching assistant together manage the class.

the teaching assistant is spending time with him.

it is unreasonable to request the teacher does this.

I'm talking about saying hello as he walks past her in the morning.

I'm not complaining about the teaching assistant lol

OP posts:
KatieKat88 · 10/09/2025 14:31

It's not that she hasn't made the effort - presumably the TA is on the gate/at the door and the teacher is in the classroom settling everyone inside? They're working as a team.

Dozycuntlaters · 10/09/2025 14:32

Don't be "that" parent. He is being greeted and welcomed, it really doesnt matter if its the TA or the teacher. Honestly, if you are going to complain about this, you are going to lose all credibility and when you have a real complaint they just wont take you seriously. It is hard having a young one, my DS was the youngest as he was born on 31st August but it was harder for me than it was him. Loosen up a bit, he will feed off your upset about this all.

CinnamonBuns67 · 10/09/2025 14:32

Yabu. It is the norm the deal with the TA's more than the main teacher. Only time I've ever seen main teacher is if I needed to.

ilovesooty · 10/09/2025 14:32

Presumably the TA says hello when you hand over? I don't see what the problem is.

Original poster
Hc1984 · 10/09/2025 14:50

Dozycuntlaters · 10/09/2025 14:32

Don't be "that" parent. He is being greeted and welcomed, it really doesnt matter if its the TA or the teacher. Honestly, if you are going to complain about this, you are going to lose all credibility and when you have a real complaint they just wont take you seriously. It is hard having a young one, my DS was the youngest as he was born on 31st August but it was harder for me than it was him. Loosen up a bit, he will feed off your upset about this all.

Wow okay the teacher is the one at the door greeting.

You must all be very rude peope if you don't think an upset 4 year old is looking at his teacher for a hello and she says nothing lol.

OP posts:
Ablondiebutagoody · 10/09/2025 14:51

I don't think that you should email the school or be so fixated on DS's age.

Wolfiefan · 10/09/2025 14:52

The teacher is there to get them in and start the day. Not give a personal welcome to each of the 30 kids. 🤦‍♀️

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:52

Am I wrong for emailing the school.

Yes. Very. HTH.

pinkbackground · 10/09/2025 14:53

Why can’t the TA be just as welcoming as the teacher?

arethereanyleftatall · 10/09/2025 14:53

Wow!!!
fgs if this is what you get upset about, I would buckle up for your next 10 years op.
this is absolutely NOTHING to worry about and to waste the schools time over this is simply ridiculous

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:53

but she know my son is the youngest, we were worried about him starting and she hasn't even made the effort.

What the fuck has him being the youngest got to do with anything?!?! 😂

Tubestrike · 10/09/2025 14:55

Maybe he's not as ready as you think

B1anche · 10/09/2025 14:55

This reply has been deleted

Message deleted by MNHQ. Here's a link to our Talk Guidelines.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/09/2025 14:56

im a teacher - swimming - and through experience I have learnt that when parents are over anxious, as it seems you are op, I need to step up in under anxious to balance it all out ifswim.

Beautifulhaiku · 10/09/2025 14:57

Does she say hello to every kid other than him?

Original poster
Hc1984 · 10/09/2025 14:57

Dozycuntlaters · 10/09/2025 14:32

Don't be "that" parent. He is being greeted and welcomed, it really doesnt matter if its the TA or the teacher. Honestly, if you are going to complain about this, you are going to lose all credibility and when you have a real complaint they just wont take you seriously. It is hard having a young one, my DS was the youngest as he was born on 31st August but it was harder for me than it was him. Loosen up a bit, he will feed off your upset about this all.

I have been with this school for over 10 years. I have never made one complaint.

We had a meeting before he started and she said she would offer support, we had an email 2 days before he started saying how they will support him and us as a family as we were concerned he was so young.

I'm taking about a hello in the morning lol, and to maybe spend 2 minutes one on one to check in lol build a relationship.

OP posts:
Bluevelvetsofa · 10/09/2025 14:58

I imagine these aren’t the answers OP is looking for.

Luxio · 10/09/2025 14:59

First thing in the morning as they are coming in the door really isn't the time to be building a relationship especially if your child is already with the TA. I get you're anxious but you seem to be just looking for problems where they don't actually exist.

IwouldlikeanewTV · 10/09/2025 14:59

Hi Op I understand you are worried. He is your baby. But you will be fine. My son was 6 weeks premature and born end of August. He managed and is in the forces now. It is hard as we all think our baby is the most important but you need to lighten up. My second child cried everyday at nursery. It’s tough, but it has to be done.

arethereanyleftatall · 10/09/2025 15:00

You want the teacher to spend 2 minutes (so an entire hour per class of 30) greeting each kid individually?!? No thanks, as a parent I do not want to waste 25% of teaching time saying hello.

Original poster
Hc1984 · 10/09/2025 15:00

Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 14:53

but she know my son is the youngest, we were worried about him starting and she hasn't even made the effort.

What the fuck has him being the youngest got to do with anything?!?! 😂

Haha do you have children and understand how much the develope in a year

OP posts:
Starlight1984 · 10/09/2025 15:01

I'm taking about a hello in the morning lol, and to maybe spend 2 minutes one on one to check in lol build a relationship.

Oh come on. 2 minutes with each child? You can't be serious...

Or..... do you mean with just your child?!?!