Teacher not saying hello

[Hc1984]

My son has just started reception it's literally day 4. He only turned 4 on the 26th of August so he's the youngest in his class. We had a meeting with his teacher and head teacher before we made the decision to send him or wait till next year. They were very supportive and said he was ready from what they can see. He went to nursery 3 days a week at the school.

So he started along with his friends from nursery. But he has been crying every morning. The teacher hasn't even said morning once. He is taken from my from the teaching assistant. I understand the main teacher is busy and there are lots of partners and children, but she know my son is the youngest, we were worried about him starting and she hasn't even made the effort.

Am I wrong for emailing the school.

I was on abkut during g the day for a coupe of days untill he was settled lol

I'm taking about a hello in the morning lol, and to maybe spend 2 minutes one on one to check in lol build a relationship

OP I get it, I'm not trying to be mean but what if every child wanted 2 minutes one on one from the teacher. It's just not possible and as long as your child is being greeted, feels safe etc and the teacher isn't being mean to horrid to him, that is the main thing.

You are witnessing one very small moment of the day. There may be other August birthdays in the class, other children with additional needs and even just generally other children with things going on that the teacher is also aware of and needs to check in with.

The TA is in this situation welcoming your child. Your child will likely be welcomed when doing the register, if not before.

I don't know what you would be emailing to complain about - the teacher didn't say hello?

2x30=1 hour per day on one to one relationship building. Teacher will be extremely lucky if she gets an hour per week for that!

2 mins with every child in the am? An hour of teaching time to say hello? Or just yours? How old is he?

How do you know this doesn't happen?

Um. You do realise don’t you op that every other child isn’t an entire year older than him?!? Likely there’ll be a few august borns, a few july etc
also in other years children are 4 in august, so they’re kind of used to it. Your kid isn’t some kind of 1 in a kind!!

PFB syndrome I reckon.

Yabvu to complain

A 2 minute 1:1 with what, 30 kids in her class would take her hours every day to get through though. She'd never get the kids in the door!

Why is your son crying about this? He's with his TA - how does he even have time to notice any of this?

Every child in that class needs to settle. He's getting the same as everyone else, except he's getting more as he's 1:1 with the TA already?

You sound a bit overwrought/ anxious.

Focus on how your son is getting on, is he happy going in, is he happy during the day. The only kids I know who have a 1-1 meeting with teachers first thing/ going into the classroom are those who have serious school refusal issues (think screaming and grabbing parent, running away etc). If your son is going in reasonably happily (mine had a few false starts in KS1) then I wouldn’t change anything.

Remember as well as your DS the teacher will probably have kids in the class with SEN, disabilities, safeguarding concerns at home (like domestic violence), children who have parents who are unwell, getting divorced, ill etc etc. Unless there is a massive drip feed there are most likely loads of kids with higher needs- you just don’t know them all (quite appropriately).

Just because he's the youngest doesn't mean that there aren't other children just as anxious, it will take time but I'm sure the teacher will build a relationship with him (and all the other kids)

Oh gosh - now you mention it, no! Nobody on this forum has children or understands child development!

Please explain it to us!

Especially how it's more important that your child gets 1:1 time with his teacher above every other child in his class, purely because of the month he was born in 😃

You must all be very rude peope if you don't think an upset 4 year old is looking at his teacher for a hello and she says nothing lol.

Is he actually upset that the teacher isn't say hello right there or then or are you projecting? Because tbh it sounds more like he's upset in general - whether or not the teachers greets him has sweet naff all to do with it.

Also, most likely what will happen is that the teacher will have all the kids on the mat to take the register etc once they’ve come in, put bags away. That’s usually the time everyone checks in and they have a chat as a class.

I have an August born to and I understand the decision process on whether to send him or not.

It sounds as though the TA is being absolutely lovely and you are maybe being overly anxious. I would look on acknowledging just how supportive the TA is being and in ways to reduce your anxiety.

Part of being at school is about learning that you are not the only fish in the sea - there are 30 or so others. Maybe that applies to parents too?

Thank you for being the only one to slightly understand.

I don't think I came across the right way. I wasn't complaining about her not saying hello, it just been the whole process. I know there are not children who require extra care and i know my son is the only one crying at drop off. They said they would offer extra help. She just looks at him and days nothing.

I thought netmums was a supportive group I just feel even more like crap lol 🥲

Presumably once everyone is in, bags and coats away and all sat on the mat she says "Good Morning Class. Let's take the register".
That is her saying "hello".

To be fair, you don't know that the teacher isn't spending time with your DS while in the classroom. You are using 30 seconds of a morning and making an assumption about her saying she can't be bothered. Give them time, a few days is nothing at all. Everyone is settling in, from the staff to all of the children. A summer birthday does not necessarily mean that the child will find things more difficult that a child born in December.
You sound rude to me in this instance - and interspersing your posts with lol to try to lighten the mood and make yourself sound like you are not complaining is a bit odd to be honest! lol

So the teacher stands at the classroom door, blanking every child as they walk past? Or are you bothered that the teacher says hello to some children but not yours?

I think it sounds quite sensible that the teacher isn't getting involved when an upset child is being settled by the TA. Also, if the TA is occupied with your child, the teacher needs to be dealing with the rest of the class. At my DS's school, it was quite common for the TA to be the one who dealt with children who were finding it harder to go in, and the main class teacher would handle everyone else.

If you're concerned that your child isn't getting any more settled, you could email about that (though I'd leave it a week), but to say "maybe you should say hello" would be massive unreasonable.

I’m totally with you OP.
Its the teacher’s duty to greet the children in the morning and I too would be annoyed if they couldn’t be bothered to spend five minutes welcoming them.

What difference would him being welcomed by the teacher rather than the TA make?

Also this is mumsnet not netmums.

Why do you keep laughing? If you're finding the situation funny, it can't be much of an issue.

You are making a judgement though on one moment of the school day. No one is being nasty and many of us have said, what is the issue with it being the TA and not the teacher. Presumably he settles in school once in. The teacher isn't going to take over from the TA unless they are struggling or they call for assistance as this looks like they are undermining the TA. A good teacher and TA team work together. So if you son is crying and the TA is handling it, then that is a positive and he is being cared for.
You also cannot predict what children will do once in the room - you might not see others go in crying, but they might suddenly become tearful. I work as a TA and one of our most confident children burst into tears this morning, sobbing that they miss mummy. Was the teacher involved in consoling them? No. I was sat with them while the teacher dealt with other children coming in.