Teacher not saying hello

[Hc1984]

My son has just started reception it's literally day 4. He only turned 4 on the 26th of August so he's the youngest in his class. We had a meeting with his teacher and head teacher before we made the decision to send him or wait till next year. They were very supportive and said he was ready from what they can see. He went to nursery 3 days a week at the school.

So he started along with his friends from nursery. But he has been crying every morning. The teacher hasn't even said morning once. He is taken from my from the teaching assistant. I understand the main teacher is busy and there are lots of partners and children, but she know my son is the youngest, we were worried about him starting and she hasn't even made the effort.

Am I wrong for emailing the school.

So you want the teacher to spend five minutes greeting each child? That's 2.5 hours. Would you want this happening every day?

I bet she didn't give hm a badge either saying I'm special because I'm the youngest.

Parents need to realise that their very special, precious, one-off child is simply one of many in a class of 30!

I can see your point of view. It’s disappointing that the teacher isn’t acknowledging your son despite your previous email comms regarding your concerns given your son has only just turned 4!

Maybe as your son goes in you could loudly say “Son, say hello to Mrs Teacher!” And that might provoke a response from her.

Why the "lol"?

OP he is getting 121 attention from the TA, the teacher has to manage everyone else.

they are the other responsibile adult in the room, I think this more than ok. And them making sure he feels supported by a familiar adult.

Ffs. Get a grip OP. Your child is going to have a rough ride through school if you are so needy.

I am sure the teacher welcomes the children once they are in. If your son is upset at drop-off it is good that the TA is there to comfort and settle him.

I do not think this teacher is doing anything wrong. She is just dealing with the morning rush as best she can. She can see the TA is with your child and is OK.

Please don't write to the school!!!

You’re right, he is too young to start school so you should have deferred him really.

I think children learn that far more quickly than many parents. I wonder how often children are made anxious or upset because of their parent's attitude?

It might be worth thinking very hard about your decision to send your child at just 4. In my view that is far too young for any child.

This. I'm sure she greets the class in a positive and timely way.

The thing is OP, as others have said, the issue in the morning is to get everyone through the door and start the day. If the teacher is standing at the door as everyone comes in, they can’t stop and comfort every child who looks as though they are having a wobbly, or chat to every parent who wants a quick word. They are probably also busy visually matching new parents to the new children, and making sure no one already in the room does a runner.

The quickest way for children to settle is to know the routines of the morning, we come into class, we put our book bags in the box, we hang up our coats and sit on the carpet/ choose a table activity/ read a book. Yes, some children will need more support to navigate this - and hands up, my DD was one, she squished onto the teachers chair and held her register pens for about three weeks - but that support happened when she got inside the classroom , not at the door.

By all means talk to the teacher, but I think you will find that they are well aware of your child’s needs. I doubt if any of his anxieties about starting school will be sorted simply by the teacher saying hello at the door. I doubt he has mentioned it, or even noticed. Though I expect your anxieties would be sorted by the teacher saying hello, but it’s not you who needs the support, or is it!

Mine started at 4, but they were absolutely ready.
I don't recall if the teacher greeted them individually or not. They did ok, anyway, and got into uni!

One of mine went at that age and was absolutely fine.

If you’ve had kids in the education system for the past 10 years then you’d know that some years the TA is more on the ball than the class teacher. An experienced TA is much cheaper than an inexperienced teacher so it’s a popular way to control school budgets.

Five minutes? Where did you get that from?
it takes seconds to smile, greet a child and make them feel welcome, it’s part of pastoral care.

Did you miss the part where he's having 1-1 pastoral care form the TA?

The teacher will say good morning during the register but until then he's getting support from the other adult in the classroom.

I sympathise, having had to withdraw my child from a primary school where she was ignored by the teacher, who once made a telling comment "the August ones are so young, it's difficult to teach them". Without action she might have got used to a school life of looking out of the window, as I did for many years... Trust your instinct, though give it a little longer.

I am aware of that but TAs are there to support teachers. The teacher should also greet the child, they’re are just passing the buck.

My boy is August born too, I get that its emotional, especially when they find the separation hard.

But I agree with the other posters OP that the teacher doesn't have time to say hello to everyone individually. It's great that the TA is taking him in - it sounds like he is getting quite a personal touch in that sense? If they all cried, they couldn't all be taken in personally.

In your shoes, I wouldn't be complaining to the school. If he carries on finding drop off very difficult, I would ask for a 10-15 min chat with the teacher to come up with ideas to help him. I wouldn't expect her to discuss this at drop off or pick up - it's too manic!

In a reception classroom the TAs are as important if not more so than the teacher. She's supporting him and ensuring he is having a positive transition into the classroom. Are you really saying that the teacher should be doing this instead and leave all the other children for the TA to welcome into the classroom?

How do you know that she doesn't greet them all just before calling the register?

I got it from your post at 15:18. Did you mean 5 minutes in total? I am sure the teacher does that, the OP wanted two minutes with just her child.

Perhaps the teacher could throw rose petals at his feet. What utter nonsense. Who’d want to go into teaching when there’s crap like this to deal with.

If she spends two minutes one on one with every child to build a relationship that's simply not practicable. Your child shouldn't be getting special relationship building treatment.