DP lied about his holiday allowance and we can’t go away

[Takethat88]

I’m feeling a bit fed up…I’ve been with DP since mid 2023.

I knew when we met that he had an annual solo trip to Thailand every winter, and was planning on it again in 2024. Fine - but using 3 weeks of his holiday allowance meant our chances to go away together were limited as he also turned a 3 day stag do in Prague into an extended week long trip.

This year, he told me he would shorten his Thailand trip to 2 weeks so we could have a week away in September. When it came to us looking to book this in July, he told me out of nowhere he had ‘forgotten’ he has a friends trip to Berlin in December as one of them is celebrating a landmark birthday! So due to other days he has booked here and there over the year, he doesn’t have a week spare for us to go away!

I even suggested joining him in Thailand as I’ve never been but he scoffed at the idea and doesn’t think it’s my cup of tea.

Am I wrong to think that if my partner can’t prioritise a holiday with me after 2 years, he needs a big ultimatum?

When you say Thailand and he doesn’t want you to go, I think prostitutes.

Of course it wouldn’t be your cup of tea..

The shagging he is no doubt doing.

Leave him.

I think the expression is 'throw this one back ' ?

Thailand?
watch Zara mCDermotts bbc documentary !

Annual trip to Thailand for three weeks would be all the red flag I needed.

i actually think ultimatums are ridiculous. He’s shown you his priorities, emotionally blackmailing him in the short term won’t change the fact that he doesn’t prioritise you. Just leave.

You're not wrong at all. Why doesn't he value you and your time together?

I don't mind DH going away with friends/stag trips but they come AFTER our holiday together.

The first year together I understand as they'd have possibly been booked and organised before you were at the stage of going away together, but afterwards? No.

Sadly he's not that into you.

At worst he is in Thailand being a vile sex tourist, or taking lots of drugs.

There is a reason he goes to Thailand alone and doesn’t want you to join him.

Where does he go in Thailand and why does he go alone?I'd be more worried I'd married a sex tourist.

Three weeks solo in Thailand every year? And you can’t join him? Okaaaay.

Unless he’s a yogi of many years experience and heads out there on retreat, I would dump this one and kindly recommend a trip to the STI clinic.

Agree with everyone that he's a sex tourist

I mean not everyone who goes to Thailand is a sex tourist, but if he's not, why on earth wouldn't he want you to come with him?

Having lived in Asia I know exactly what he’s doing on a solo trip to Thailand and he won’t want you there watching him shag his way though a menu of weird and wonderful fetish stuff.

No man goes to Thailand alone for the views and food.

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

He is telling you where you stand on his list of priorities. Listen to him! Leave and find someone who values you

Yep. Or something even worse. He sounds at very best selfish, and at worst vile.

Sex tourist. Run a mile

He's demonstrating in real terms that you aren’t a priority OP.

He's made no space for you in his life.

Not every man who goes to Thailand is a sex tourist but unfortunately nearly every sex tourist goes to Thailand. The odds don’t look great OP.

I don't understand why you might give him an ultimatum. I wouldn't want to go on holiday with someone who (1) didn't think he was the luckiest man alive to be on holiday with me and (2) preferred to go to Thailand on his own, likely to take advantage of young women and girls

You deserve better

This can’t be genuine surely ?

Ok, so even if he’s not a sex or drug tourist, he is absolutely choosing anyone rather than you for his holiday. This wont get better.

He's not really keen on the relationship, he doesn't prioritise the relationship, he wants the life of a man without any ties.
He is very disrespectful to the relationship.

Definitely a sex tourist

But then why can't you go with him??