DP lied about his holiday allowance and we can’t go away

[Takethat88]

I’m feeling a bit fed up…I’ve been with DP since mid 2023.

I knew when we met that he had an annual solo trip to Thailand every winter, and was planning on it again in 2024. Fine - but using 3 weeks of his holiday allowance meant our chances to go away together were limited as he also turned a 3 day stag do in Prague into an extended week long trip.

This year, he told me he would shorten his Thailand trip to 2 weeks so we could have a week away in September. When it came to us looking to book this in July, he told me out of nowhere he had ‘forgotten’ he has a friends trip to Berlin in December as one of them is celebrating a landmark birthday! So due to other days he has booked here and there over the year, he doesn’t have a week spare for us to go away!

I even suggested joining him in Thailand as I’ve never been but he scoffed at the idea and doesn’t think it’s my cup of tea.

Am I wrong to think that if my partner can’t prioritise a holiday with me after 2 years, he needs a big ultimatum?

🤣

I have been to Asia many times for the culture, art, food, island hopping, water sports, temples etc

It is a beautiful place

The people are very welcoming & kind

However, I have walked down a street where people were holding menus & these were not menus for food.

There is no benefit system there

I was in Thailand last year, and omg its beautiful place, but yes was with my partner linking arms walking down the street and those girls were dragging him me honestly its so embarrassing those girls don't care, all giggles, I found it so uncomfortable, they didn't care, would offer threesomes even though I was protesting, we found it really uncomfortable, It did spoil our time there somewhat, they sit in the street just constantly every other shop, from 9am to silly hours in the morning, yes of course they have a job to do but bloody so in your face, we sat with coffees first thing in morning and watched the amount of men going in and out ,
Doe's matter where you are they are everywhere,

@Omgblueskys You do realise what would happen to those girls if they didnt hussle like that right? They're not doing it because they're shameless and having fun. Their every move is being watched and controlled by pimps.

This is outing but I used to work with someone who loved Thailand soooo much he had a villa there and went without his wife every year.

He wasnt shy about telling people at work it was because he had a coterie of thai 'wives" that lived there who would service his every need.

Eventually he convinced all of the young lads in the office to go out there and experience the beauty of Thailand, and by that he meant the prostitutes.

And that is exactly what they did. Hired a villa and prostitutes for the week. Then came and joked about how they'd physically and emotionally abused them by making fun of their religion and thrown their belongings in the pool etc etc.

Then there was my hairdresser who divorced her husband when it turned out his annual trip to Thailand was to fuck lady boys.

Or the lovely man who worked for me and was at the end of his tether because although money was tight, his wife insisted they pay for her mid 70s dad to go shag prostitutes in Thailand once a year because he liked young women and it made him happy.

I'm sorry OP but if you totally rule out nefarious activities you're being naive.

I feel sorry for Takethat88. She didn't know, not everybody does, they may have a vague idea that some men do the sex tourism bit but wouldn't be suspicious of everyone and certainly not their own boyfriend who seems perfectly upright.

In this case there are so many clues but when you're with some who is plausible and very nice, you don't see them. It takes something happening, or other people pointing them out, and even then you hope they are wrong.

Hopefully her eyes are now open but what a hurtful experience!

I'm wishing her every good thing from now on (but first she has to ditch him).

Or children

Thise girls have likely been sold since they were toddlers i went down a rabbit hole of this and wish I hadn't what they're subjected to is absolutely horrific and I can't ever forget what I know but to them it's normal daily life

Hmm not seen in Chiang mai old town. Down loi krah rd yes but that's the red light area

Do you ever get used to being trafficked, abused and exploited?

He was not communicating and honest with you about his leave. Any dishonesty opens up more doubts.
If he island hops or bed hops, he’s not valuing you and prioritising you.
Are you happy to wait until he can spare time for you?
Maybe book yourself a trip and use the time to think about what you want and need.
I was in a relationship with someone who prioritised overseas sports events, I did a holiday without him and took the kids, he realised what he was missing out on.

Why do you need ducks in a row though if you don’t live together? Surely it’s just a question of having the conversation of finishing with him?

I wouldn’t bother with ultimatums. If he wanted to make the time for a holiday together he would. You can’t make him want that.

Whatever the purpose of the Thailand trip (and I would also strongly suspect sex workers are the draw), he’s putting this above a trip with you of his own volition. No one is making him go.

You know whats in Thailand? Prostitutes.

How are you the only person not seeing this?

Book yourself a two week girls only only to Ibiza and see how he feels when you say no to him meeting you there x

I used to work with a guy who did a solo Thailand trip every winter for 4 weeks

Leaving his wife behind. Yeah she left him when she figured it out.

Ask yourself OP, would you go on the same exact holiday every single year on your own. Probably not. Why is he so insistent on it and it being by himself?

In the words of Judge Judy, if it doesn't make sense its probably not true.

Also scenery.

SCENERY

Is he into the scenery at home? Just wondering. Or is it just on this holiday that he indulges in it for a few weeks?

He isn’t going to Thailand for the scenery.

I’m in Australia and I was told by an ex boyfriend that men go to Thailand for sex.

Maybe there are some outliers - but a man who regularly travels to Thailand is not going for the scenery. If he was interested in scenery there are so many other countries in Asia he could travel to that have amazing scenery but isn’t known for prostitution.

No he is definitely going for the scenery. He said it himself. It’s confirmed.

I lived there and it is only the most spectacularly naive of people would believe any man is travelling there annually for food, scenery and culture🙄.

In fact only on MN would such a thing be suggested.
It is a hugely popular spot for the sleaaziest of men, from their 30's on.

Sorry OP.. but you're being naive !! If he's not up to anything dodgy, why can't you go? And if he's used up all holiday days leaving no time for you to go anywhere together, what does that say about how he feels about you? He's at best a selfish arse... and at worst....???? Why are you with someone who can dismiss you so easily?

Or ping ping shows.

body scenery