Page 2 | DP lied about his holiday allowance and we can’t go away

Takethat88 · 2025-09-10T07:00:28+00:00

I’m feeling a bit fed up…I’ve been with DP since mid 2023. I knew when we met that he had an annual solo trip to Thailand every winter, and was planning on it again in 2024. Fine - but using 3 weeks of his holiday allowance meant our chances to go away together were limited as he also turned a 3 day stag do in Prague into an extended week long trip. This year, he told me he would shorten his Thailand trip to 2 weeks so we could have a week away in September. When it came to us looking to book this in July, he told me out of nowhere he had ‘forgotten’ he has a friends trip to Berlin in December as one of them is celebrating a landmark birthday! So due to other days he has booked here and there over the year, he doesn’t have a week spare for us to go away! I even suggested joining him in Thailand as I’ve never been but he scoffed at the idea and doesn’t think it’s my cup of tea. Am I wrong to think that if my partner can’t prioritise a holiday with me after 2 years, he needs a big ultimatum?

Figgly · 10/09/2025 08:09

Yep sorry, partner going on a solo male visit to Thailand is a red flag. Trust me I know from experience and an std test was needed 😝

bumbaloo · 10/09/2025 08:09

So everyone else comes above you in the priority list.
Do what you want with that

GCAcademic · 10/09/2025 08:09

CalzoneOnLegs · 10/09/2025 08:08

This can’t be genuine surely ?

No, no one is that naive.

TheGoddessFrigg · 10/09/2025 08:09

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

Oh honey.... Three weeks? Solo? And he doesn't want you to go with him? He is practically telling you what is going on.

ImAPreMadonna · 10/09/2025 08:09

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

So why doesn’t he want you to go with him? I mean, if it’s about ‘alone time’, (although ‘scoffing’ would suggest otherwise), why he go for two weeks alone and you join for the third?

ayvasili · 10/09/2025 08:10

Throw him back.. When I got together with my husband (granted it was a whirlwind romance and we got engaged after two weeks) he already had a trip to Thailand booked with his mates (we met in august-trip was booked for the following February) and once we were engaged, I was promptly added to the trip, one of the other lads was also seeing a girl and added her to the trip too. What I'm trying to say is if he isn't making you a priority now, he won't ever. He is showing you who he is.. Believe him!

gingercat02 · 10/09/2025 08:10

hennybeans · 10/09/2025 08:01

When you say Thailand and he doesn’t want you to go, I think prostitutes.

This! Or worse.
My ex boss husband left her for his Thai "wife" and 7yo child. Be very careful OP

CountryQueen · 10/09/2025 08:10

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

😬 mate, really?

Thailand, Prague…don’t be such a fucking mug. He’s going for the sex

Owly11 · 10/09/2025 08:10

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

So why doesn’t he want to do this with you?

Rightandwrong · 10/09/2025 08:10

I even suggested joining him in Thailand as I’ve never been but he scoffed at the idea and doesn’t think it’s my cup of tea.

Well i think we all know why don't we?
And the icing on the cake is his week long stag do in Prague!

He really is taking you for a fool OP. Unless you are happy being in a relationship with a guy so into using sex workers.

saveforthat · 10/09/2025 08:11

Try insisting on going to Thailand, say it very much is your cup of tea and that you are going to book it. His reaction then will tell you a lot.

Obeseandashamed · 10/09/2025 08:11

It’s crazy he won’t let you join him on his Thailand trips. There is surely an alterior motive

LittleBird74 · 10/09/2025 08:12

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

He’s not going to tell you he’s going there for sex! Of course he’ll make it sound wholesome.

It’s either sex, drugs or both. At best a Thai wife and kid he spends 3 weeks a year with.

Branster · 10/09/2025 08:12

hennybeans · 10/09/2025 08:01

When you say Thailand and he doesn’t want you to go, I think prostitutes.

Or much worse actually

Livpool · 10/09/2025 08:12

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

How do you know though? And if that is the case, why can’t you go?

Best case scenario- he doesn’t prioritise you and your relationship so end it

MimiSunshine · 10/09/2025 08:12

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

So which of those is apparently not your thing?

don’t be so wilfully blind.

But regardless, dump him, your an option to him, not a priority.

Flakey99 · 10/09/2025 08:13

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

C’mon OP. Talk about being shockingly naïve. 🤦🏻‍♀️

If he genuinely only went for the food and exploring, he’d likely be travelling to other parts of south east Asia and he’d also be happy for his partner to join him for a week.

He’s also prioritising (sex fest) stag do’s over couple holidays.

Have some self respect and chuck him back.

Digdongdoo · 10/09/2025 08:13

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

You don't go with him, so you don't know that. Plenty of time for food, sightseeing and sex tourism (or worse). Keen traveller's don't tend to go back to the same place every year.
If it's so innocent, why doesn't he want you to come? There's not really a good answer.

VickyEadieofThigh · 10/09/2025 08:14

saveforthat · 10/09/2025 08:11

Try insisting on going to Thailand, say it very much is your cup of tea and that you are going to book it. His reaction then will tell you a lot.

I recommend this approach.

tumblingdowntherabbithole · 10/09/2025 08:14

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

Then why doesn’t he want you there?

Come on OP, don’t be so naive 🫣

Didshejustsaythatoutloud · 10/09/2025 08:14

Solo man+Thailand= you know!!!!!!!
Ditch

Original poster

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:15

I know it’s AIBU I do think it’s a bit of a cliché to jump to the extremes of he’s a sex tourist or even more bonkers to say he has a secret wife and kid!!

He says that because I don’t like travelling too much once away and can struggle with travel sickness that I would struggle with the distances etc.

OP posts:

ByQuaintAzureWasp · 10/09/2025 08:15

He's told you tgat he'd rather go away on his own or with mates than with you. Get rid!

Blueuggboots · 10/09/2025 08:16

AwakeNotThruChoice · 10/09/2025 08:03

Thailand?
watch Zara mCDermotts bbc documentary !

This!!!

TheMAFSfan · 10/09/2025 08:16

Takethat88 · 10/09/2025 08:06

I don’t have concerns over why he goes to Thailand - he island hops, loves the food and exploring. He certainly isn’t the type to indulge in the seedier side of things and steers well clear of those areas.

why does he think you wouldn’t enjoy the food, island hopping etc?