DP lied about his holiday allowance and we can’t go away

[Takethat88]

I’m feeling a bit fed up…I’ve been with DP since mid 2023.

I knew when we met that he had an annual solo trip to Thailand every winter, and was planning on it again in 2024. Fine - but using 3 weeks of his holiday allowance meant our chances to go away together were limited as he also turned a 3 day stag do in Prague into an extended week long trip.

This year, he told me he would shorten his Thailand trip to 2 weeks so we could have a week away in September. When it came to us looking to book this in July, he told me out of nowhere he had ‘forgotten’ he has a friends trip to Berlin in December as one of them is celebrating a landmark birthday! So due to other days he has booked here and there over the year, he doesn’t have a week spare for us to go away!

I even suggested joining him in Thailand as I’ve never been but he scoffed at the idea and doesn’t think it’s my cup of tea.

Am I wrong to think that if my partner can’t prioritise a holiday with me after 2 years, he needs a big ultimatum?

Omg please just ditch him now.

I agree, yuck!!! You’ve been together two years and he doesn’t want his gf on a beach holiday? Bin him

Nah 3 weeks every year in Thailand. He’s a shagger

Oh dear. No, pet, Just, No. He doesn't want YOUR company. And he's slithering off to use prostitutes.

The most glaringly obvious answer is almost always the right answer. Please get yourself checked.

A solo trip to Thailand each year?

Red flags! Get rid of him.

Having just seen the third episode of The Dark Side of Paradise I found it quite depressing that all the British people who lived there that the presenter interviewed were all hedonistic, shallow vacuous "content creators" or "influencers".

I go to the same country every time. It's much smaller than thailand. There's so much to see I haven't seen it all yet.

But people are getting side tracked by the thailand issue.He just doesn't want to go on holiday with her at all.

So does that apply to me also lol.

Are you a man? Do you go to Thailand for three weeks every year and refuse to take your partner with you? If so, chances are high you are also a prostitute user, yes. If it looks like a walking STD and talks like a walking STD, it's almost certainly a walking STD.

I am watching 'Thailand: the Dark Side of Paradise', on iplayer, am on episode 3. Quite an eye opener. Island hopping certainly is popular.

No I'm a woman. Don't take my partner with me and go for a month.

In fact a male friend was there at same time as me last year. He didn't go for the sex workers either. His thing was more Buddhism and spirituality stuff

Doesn't actually matter why he's going or what he's doing there. Women are getting obsessed with the sex worker thing, which may or may not be true.

The only issue is he doesn't want to go on holiday with her at all. Nothing else really matters.

That's nice. So, not relevant at all to the reality that Thailand is a hotspot for single men who abuse prostitutes and the OPs boyfriend is being really weird about not allowing her to come with him and he goes every single year on his own.

Nothing at all wrong with looking at the world with reality goggles on.

Again, if it looks like a walking STD and talks like a walking STD, chances are it's a walking STD.

If he turns out to not to be a prostitute abuser, he's still a selfish wanker, so she's well rid either way.

It's a shame that men have spoiled that trip for other men by making it one of the most notorious prostitute abuser destinations, but there you go.

This 1 is a waste of time. Just wants to keep on planning his fun time like a single man but having you there for as and when he feels.
If he can't commit to a 1 week holiday with you after 2 years, then he is going to let you down time and time again. You will wait until next summer and then "sorry forgot I got this planned now".
He should also have been excited to go away on a new adventure with you, not be acting like he would be doing you a favour at an inconvenience to himself if he went with you

This is a troll post, for attention right? The OP's comments are literally pointing out the bfs red flags, for people to jump on, it seems deliberate to me

Ok you are not a partner, you are bang buddy on his time and convenience - partner implies working together & compromise. Honestly sounds completely mad. He also 100% a sex tourist. Why are you with him? Solo trips for three weeks in a relationship??

Do you go to a place that is associated with older men and sex tourism? Are you a middle aged single man?

if yes and yes, I’d have suspicions.

I agree

You're being disengenuous. You know very well that Thailand is a hub for MALE sex tourism. Of course, female sex tourism can happen but it's not significant in Thailand. In fact, as a non-SE/E Asian looking woman, you can walk through the seediest areas of Bangkok, Pattaya and Phuket and you'll be invisible. You can't miss the hordes of solo men who descend on to Thailand for less than wholesome reasons.

It really doesn't sound like the OP's partner is coming to Thailand to visit the ruins of Ayutthaya or Sukothai or on a Buddhist or yoga retreat or exploring the mountains of Doi Chiang Dao or going diving or doing the Mae Hong Son loop. He's vaguely "island hopping" (at peak peak season) which sounds like the most vaucous way to spend time in Thaialnd and the one where you are most likely to be exposed to sex tourism - and probably the least likely way to actually eat authentic Thai food which is apparently another reason he comes.

I'm another lover of Thailand - its culture, nature, food, beauty, people - and I totally understand why people would want to come back as the country has so much to offer - but this story rings really hollow and reflects the reality of what we have all seen on Patong and Jomtien beaches rather than one man you know who goes to a Buddhist retreat.

I watched the BBC documentary with Zara McDermott and I was so shocked at the huge amount of prostitutes on the streets soliciting. It felt much speedier than Amsterdam ( where I lived for a few years.

Honestly, male depravity seems to be never ending.

How do you know that’s the truth? If you have told him you’d like to go and he still says no, then he is lying to you. If he cared, he’d delight in showing you the experiences and places that make Thailand so special to him. If he thought you didn’t like a lot of travelling, he’d modify it a bit if necessary to be with you. If that’s what he was doing. But he can’t, can he? Lying. They do, you know. We always hope they’re up front but you need to take the blinkers off. He certainly isn’t committed to you in any way. You’ve got the guy he pretends to be, and the guy he really is .
Id book a trip the same time. Find out where he is staying . I did this , but it was Ibiza. My OH going off alone , again. Turned out he picked a gf up on the way to the airport . I had my flight ticket and knew the hotel he’d booked, hire car etc . We had fireworks . She was not pleased, either, since she thought he and I were just roommates

If that is genuinely the case no reason for you not to join him. It is a solo trip so nobody can vouch for him not being a sex tourist.

Just watching that now. Looks like it’s going to be an eye opener, so far seeming anything goes…

Hilarious your posts, such a rage bait load of nonsense. No response that even hints you have any suspicions about him. He has a bag packed, you’ve never lived with him. I wonder why that is, because it’s all made up, that’s why.

Why Thailand every time? I’m sorry but I agree with other people’s opinions that he goes for the prostitutes