Insecure women force men to lie

[Harrypitty]

My girlfriend is very insecure, I love her and support her in this the best I can. For info I have no history of cheating/lieing etc

however it’s really hard to tell the truth to an insecure woman as they ask what I consider to be stupid questions they don’t really want the answer to and will only fuel their insecurity.

I have dozens of examples but heres the latest.

my ex-wife ( of 5 years who I rarely speak to but am on reasonable good terms with, Who also lives with my grown up children), asks to borrow some party decorations I have in my loft.
I don’t have an issue with this but if I mention it to my girlfriend all hell will break loose. If I say no then my kids will call up saying I’m being selfish as it’s their party too etc.
so now I have to lie to my girlfriend and sneak the box’s over there when she’s not around.

now you may say” just tell her”, I can assure you beyond any doubt that this will cause a massive row where I will be accused of 1/ loving her more then me, 2/always (!) doing things for her 3/ will probably shag her when I’m there. Etc etc

i guess this the curse of having an insecure girlfriend (who I’ve finally convinced into counselling).

anyway I don’t know why I’m posting other than to say to all you lovely women that you need to have trust in your partners and maintain that trust unless of course its broken.

being insecure and controlling will only manifests your own fears and your partner will be forced (by you) to sneak around for fear of hurting you.

for purpose of debate if you think I should tell her vote “you are being unreasonable”.

YABU for your thread title and sweeping assumptions about women. Men are easily just as insecure. Grow a back bone and lend your own property to who you want

🤨 This is a your partner problem not a "you lovely women" problem.

This guy is an idiot, but that’s not a command, that’s instructions on how to use the poll. Women would do that too.

“Insecure women force men to lie”

yeah. Right

Well, that’s all of us told, eh

If you feel you need to lie to your girlfriend then you need to end the relationship.

I thought school was back in session? Surely no grown man has such poor grammar. He can't be drunk, it's 2.30 in the afternoon.

Has it occurred to you that she may be insecure because she knows how readily you resort to lying?

Quite the typo there!

Tell the truth, if she can't deal with that then something minor like that then you are with the wrong person anyway.

When men are insecure, an argument is the least she has to worry about.

Your girlfriend is overly controlling and paranoid. Break up with her.

I am glad that your partner is addressing her insecurity problems.

Could you tell her that you have been asked for these, and that your children are also keen to have them and say that you would like to say yes to this. Invite her to deliver them or look at another way of doing so if she struggles with trust at the moment.

I am assuming that there is nothing in your relationship with her that makes her lack of trust reasonable.

I hope she will be able to deal with her problems because this is not a good basis for a relationship. That degree of insecurity causes controlling behaviour and massive stress. Sorting the decorations is a short term thing - hopefully something can be done about the long term.

Yay, a man telling us what to do after repeatedly lying to his girlfriend and then wondering why she's insecure.

How refreshing.

Like I tell my children, your behaviour is your choice.

Thank goodness A Man is here to tell us what to do.

My advice to Men is: stop shagging around, that way women can stop being insecure.

Cowardly men maintain relationships that require them to lie to their insecure partners.

Tell her she can sort out her insecurities or you leave.

Different people have different boundaries, but you're free to say -'no, that doesn't work for me'.

How about you sort your own relationship out rather than come on here to lecture us?

I know, the nerve of him, in a crappy relationship with no trust, coming to tell us lovely ladies how to relationship properly is equally as hilarious as it is depressing.

Oh come on mate. No one is forcing you to lie. You are choosing to do so for an easier life. That’s fine, but own it, don’t blame your GF. FWIW I’d break up with someone so insecure. Life’s too short.

No one asked for your advice

Just for clarification I have never lied in my 18 month relationship and had to put on a hard hat every time.

I am now contemplating this as a true first but it’s very draining when you can’t be open and honest in a relationship without constantly being belittled, shouted at and unjustly accused of things that arn’t true.

This.

Stop lying to her. It's really not that hard.

If you are being shouted at, belittled, and unjustly accused, I stick to my point above about breaking up with this person. Insecurity aside, behaviour like that is not acceptable.

The thing is once you start lying, it just makes you out the bad guy. You then make your girlfriends behaviour worse, as she will remember her boyfriend at the time lying to her which is only going to make her insecurities worse.

If you care for her, the kindest thing you can do for her is leave.

To be honest, it’s really not nice for you to be in a relationship where you feel on egg shells and are constantly accused of things you didn’t do.

It is better to leave.