Page 30 | To think most men are filthy losers

fightbackorriseabove · 2025-09-07T17:05:00+00:00

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour. I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry. I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex. Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them. I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages. Maybe I'm naïve. But it's been a real eye opener for me. I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness. I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile. How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it. It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down. Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

ThatWasJustANoise · 16/09/2025 10:12

OutsideLookingOut · 16/09/2025 09:50

It is a logical fallacy, it is usually best to debate in good faith and without creating arguments against what a poster has never said.

The poster, to me, said it is very likely most men have watched porn even if they tell you otherwise and it is very easy to hide it. This does not mean your husband, son, uncle etc etc has watched porn just that it is likely.

For example, it is very likely Gisele Pelicot thought her husband was very good and it is likely that the wives, daughters, girlfriends etc etc of the men in a forum about raping them think they are good too because they do not know. This does not mean that no man is good, or that this impacts you. It is a discussion of probability.

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To be fair I never said my DH had never watched porn. I was saying he doesn't have a secret search history, he really doesn't need to hide anything from me. If you think I'm being naive then that's fine, I can live with that.

I know my DS has seen porn and that is why we had the conversation about it when he was 16.

Many women have seen porn in their lifetime. It doesn't mean everyone is secretly watching it at every opportunity.

As for most men being filthy losers, well that's just not true.

I was discussing with my DH about most serious crimes are done by men and he agreed.

However, I look at how my DH treats other women and I've never seen him disrespecting one. He had a close relationship with his Mum and has with his Daughters.

Beachtastic · 16/09/2025 11:26

TheStrawHasBeenObliterated · 16/09/2025 07:36

A lust for ice cream vs sexusl urges. Wow what a comparison.

Today I will research if anyone has ever raped or murdered because they were gagging for a Mr Whippy.

Well, yes, I was being whimsical 🤡 ... just trying to make the point that rapists and murderers are not really the norm. It takes a special kind of person to fixate on porn and want to do crazy shit.

TheStrawHasBeenObliterated · 16/09/2025 12:31

How many times do you see women saying about 'partners' wanting or forcing vile acts due to the normalisation of these acts from porn? Time-snd-time again strangling, anal sex, spitting are mentioned to name but a few. Their sexual urges are fucking disgusting and the bastards have the gall to go on at women about their hormones! The more I know about male urges the more I want to avoid them.

Also men in general don't like the word "no" or female assertiveness. I've been threatened with punching and "suck my dick" when daring to confront men about them encroaching dangerously into my path when walking (scooters & bikes).

Even when they are blatantly in the wrong their attitude-problem driven by their vile hormones giving them over-confidence and a deep-rooted opinion that women are beneath them explodes through. I'm fucking sick of it at this point.

I see and read the latest hatred of women all to often. Christ even today a woman has copped a tonne of good old misogyny because she dared to be a third umpire in a men's cricket match on Saturday.

I don't care for stats saying that 85.69347% of men are so-say decent and dont do this-or-that. When 'pushed' they are all capable of responding in an abusive and violent way.

JHound · 16/09/2025 12:38

CanSeeClearlyNowTheRainHasGone · 11/09/2025 19:10

I'm partly playing devil's advocate to show you the inconsistencies in your argument, but I also probably have a different view to you, therefore (by definition) probably different moral values. Ergo, my assertion that moral values are entirely subjective and therefore to some extent pointless.

I don't doubt that the morals you espouse are sincerely held, just as much as any others' morals. I merely point out that they are yours alone (whether in common with others, or not).

So, to your assertion:
Come on. Can't you see the difference between a woman raising a child alone as a result of consensual sex, or 2 men having consensual sex, and a man being turned on by underage teens or incest?

Single mothers - you agree that the child's life is sub-optimal compared to a life with two loving parents. So, there is evidently, actual harm there. That harm could absolutely have been avoided by her not getting pregnant, or terminating the pregnancy. So, is there a moral argument that she's done something she shouldn't have?
Gay men - on these pages men are considered predatory, and sex obsessed. Indeed, this very thread is about that. Many of my gay (male) friends admit to being very promiscuous and rather lazy with precautions when they were younger. These things resulted in actual harm, such as AIDS, to others Is there not a moral argument that says all these things are bad?
Men viewing images. Squicky for sure. But if they're not paying for the images, and they're not doing anything with real people, and the participants in the images never know they've been viewed - then where is the actual harm to anyone (except themselves). And if there is no actual harm, then the moral judgement you're intent on applying is purely a "I don't like it" reaction. It's ok to have that reaction but is it any more moral than the first two cases from, say, the perspective of a religious person?

I just want you to see that your moral certitudes are purely a personal view. They are not justified by some logical reasoning such as actual harm.
And therefore your morals are no more, and no less, valid than anybody else's.

And that's why I say it's a circular argument to assert that someone's behaviour is wrong because it is immoral, when your morality is merely a selection of what you perceive to be right or wrong.

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I don’t think it’s possible to go back and abort children when a relationship / marriage ends.

JHound · 16/09/2025 12:48

TheStrawHasBeenObliterated · 15/09/2025 09:57

I hope in a land or galaxy or universe, be it near or far-far away, there is a man or men sincerely defending women on whatever chosen method of communication they use.

I always find it fascinating the way so many women rush to men’s defence in a way men would never do for women.

Imagine a similar thread on Reddit or any male dominated messaging board with hoardes of men attacking the poster and defending women. Simply would not happen.

You also see similar with women getting worked up at women having dating preferences that exclude certain groups of men. I have never and mean NEVER seen men attacking other men over their dating preferences in a similar way.

Weird.

MaryMungoMidgley · 16/09/2025 13:13

Humans tend to have a default impulse to align themselves with whoever has the most power and status. We have evolved such that our impulses equip us to survive in basic tribal societies and in a tribal society (generally speaking) aligning yourself with the most powerful man would have been your best option.
I think this is part of the reason that women tend to unthinkingly align themselves with men.

Maltipoo · 16/09/2025 21:42

TheStrawHasBeenObliterated · 16/09/2025 07:36

A lust for ice cream vs sexusl urges. Wow what a comparison.

Today I will research if anyone has ever raped or murdered because they were gagging for a Mr Whippy.

😄
My ex MIL is going blind and uses a walker, but is so desperate for ice cream that she goes out on her own through busy streets to get it, risking her life. I don't think she'd kill for it, but you never know.

Maltipoo · 16/09/2025 21:58

cinquanta · 16/09/2025 08:07

@Maltipoo

Three-quarters of British men (76%) say they have ever watched porn, compared to around half of women (53%). Around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week

Three quarters from a sample size of roughly 0.01% of the UK adult male population. Similar overall sample size for adult females.

All that can reliably be taken from that survey, as presented, is that British men and women watch porn. But, is that “vile” porn, soft porn, or something else?

Remember also that these studies are based on self reporting, meaning it's almost certain that some percentage of men are ashamed and are therefore are not admitting the truth about their porn use, so we can almost certainly count on the percentage being higher. Self reporting based studies about embarassing subjects which require shameful admissions are all limited by this

More supposition. The men could be exaggerating and the women doing the opposite. You don’t know.

Remind me, what is the core issue? Relative porn use between the sexes?

Sure, it's possible. And...? This is a discussion about probabilities. By definition probabilities regarding human behaviour can't be nailed down and are speculative. We do not know what the exact probability is that any individual man is sexist/misogynist.
That's the core issue- whether or not most men are sexist/misogynist.

Soft porn has all but disappeared, btw. Internet porn has taken over the market, and most of it is extremely hardcore. What used to be considered extreme is now mainstream. There are incest videos, videos celebrating women in pain during anal sex and blatantly racist videos about women being "blacked" (porn term for the supposed degradation of white women having sex with black men) available on cable TV where I live. I had to change cable providers because the old one had the titles and vivid descriptions up on the screen whether you subscribed to those channels or not.

ThatWasJustANoise · 16/09/2025 22:08

Maltipoo · 16/09/2025 21:58

Sure, it's possible. And...? This is a discussion about probabilities. By definition probabilities regarding human behaviour can't be nailed down and are speculative. We do not know what the exact probability is that any individual man is sexist/misogynist.
That's the core issue- whether or not most men are sexist/misogynist.

Soft porn has all but disappeared, btw. Internet porn has taken over the market, and most of it is extremely hardcore. What used to be considered extreme is now mainstream. There are incest videos, videos celebrating women in pain during anal sex and blatantly racist videos about women being "blacked" (porn term for the supposed degradation of white women having sex with black men) available on cable TV where I live. I had to change cable providers because the old one had the titles and vivid descriptions up on the screen whether you subscribed to those channels or not.

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You have researched porn a lot more than a normal woman.

Maltipoo · 16/09/2025 22:19

cinquanta · 16/09/2025 08:07

@Maltipoo

Three-quarters of British men (76%) say they have ever watched porn, compared to around half of women (53%). Around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week

Three quarters from a sample size of roughly 0.01% of the UK adult male population. Similar overall sample size for adult females.

All that can reliably be taken from that survey, as presented, is that British men and women watch porn. But, is that “vile” porn, soft porn, or something else?

Remember also that these studies are based on self reporting, meaning it's almost certain that some percentage of men are ashamed and are therefore are not admitting the truth about their porn use, so we can almost certainly count on the percentage being higher. Self reporting based studies about embarassing subjects which require shameful admissions are all limited by this

More supposition. The men could be exaggerating and the women doing the opposite. You don’t know.

Remind me, what is the core issue? Relative porn use between the sexes?

Sorry, I forgot to address your comment about sample size. The point of a sample is to be representative of the population at large. It need not be huge to be considered representative, as long as it's a random sample and appropriate controls are applied.

LemonLass · 17/09/2025 07:28

This thread has gone off topic.

Thie thread appears to have strayed into side snipes at other posters (ego wars) as well as use of porn, the ethics and degrees of porn.

To bring this thread back in line with title, the mooted topic is the suggestion that "Most Men Are Filthy Losers".

For what it is worth, men (and women) are more than one thing. As a sum of parts and emotions, behaviour is fluid and responsive to situations. Most men have the potential to be filthy losers (could have a further post about that definition). Some act on that, some do not. It is complex and true for some posters, whilst also being not true for others because our lives are shaped by our lived experience.

Some may recall I had a cleaning job where the 70yr+ client sent me an inappropriate text about wanking, lube and when called out, he said it was intended as a joke, then changed mind and said wasnt intended for me. I thknk his behaviour was that of a filthy loser in that instance. I dont work for him anymore. So some men can be filthy losers. You choose your response.

HTH
LemonLass

cinquanta · 17/09/2025 08:04

Maltipoo · 16/09/2025 22:19

Sorry, I forgot to address your comment about sample size. The point of a sample is to be representative of the population at large. It need not be huge to be considered representative, as long as it's a random sample and appropriate controls are applied.

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OK, let’s accept that despite the relatively minuscule sample size the YouGov survey is accurate.

That's the core issue- whether or not most men are sexist/misogynist

The core issue, unless I misread the thread title, is whether or not most men are “filthy losers”.

If, as you appear to be arguing, the definition of a filthy loser is somebody who does, or has, watched any kind of porn then, according to the survey you referenced, not only are the majority of men filthy losers but by an admittedly slim majority, so are the majority of women.

ThatWasJustANoise · 17/09/2025 08:41

LemonLass · 17/09/2025 07:28

This thread has gone off topic.

Thie thread appears to have strayed into side snipes at other posters (ego wars) as well as use of porn, the ethics and degrees of porn.

To bring this thread back in line with title, the mooted topic is the suggestion that "Most Men Are Filthy Losers".

For what it is worth, men (and women) are more than one thing. As a sum of parts and emotions, behaviour is fluid and responsive to situations. Most men have the potential to be filthy losers (could have a further post about that definition). Some act on that, some do not. It is complex and true for some posters, whilst also being not true for others because our lives are shaped by our lived experience.

Some may recall I had a cleaning job where the 70yr+ client sent me an inappropriate text about wanking, lube and when called out, he said it was intended as a joke, then changed mind and said wasnt intended for me. I thknk his behaviour was that of a filthy loser in that instance. I dont work for him anymore. So some men can be filthy losers. You choose your response.

HTH
LemonLass

Yes, the thread has gone off topic. I also agree that we all have different lived experiences.

My first ever boyfriend and my DH are polar opposites.

So from my experiences some men are filthy losers like my first boyfriend.

BigFatLiar · 17/09/2025 09:20

cinquanta · 17/09/2025 08:04

OK, let’s accept that despite the relatively minuscule sample size the YouGov survey is accurate.

That's the core issue- whether or not most men are sexist/misogynist

The core issue, unless I misread the thread title, is whether or not most men are “filthy losers”.

If, as you appear to be arguing, the definition of a filthy loser is somebody who does, or has, watched any kind of porn then, according to the survey you referenced, not only are the majority of men filthy losers but by an admittedly slim majority, so are the majority of women.

Edited

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The problem with any sort of survey is it depends on who you ask and who answers.

As for porn I'd say most women have watched/read porn. The days of mills&boon leaving things to your imagination as they go for a kiss are long gone. Films, books and TV these days happily show what would have been scandalous when I was younger.

Beachtastic · 17/09/2025 10:06

ThatWasJustANoise · 17/09/2025 08:41

Yes, the thread has gone off topic. I also agree that we all have different lived experiences.

My first ever boyfriend and my DH are polar opposites.

So from my experiences some men are filthy losers like my first boyfriend.

Edited

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I had half a century of filthy losers because, based on experience, all men were filthy losers!

Then I dropped that preconception and am now married to a kind, funny, intelligent, lovely man who has opened my eyes to what considerate, sane behaviour looks like.

You tend to put up with what you expect.

Gettingbysomehow · 17/09/2025 12:53

JHound · 16/09/2025 12:48

I always find it fascinating the way so many women rush to men’s defence in a way men would never do for women.

Imagine a similar thread on Reddit or any male dominated messaging board with hoardes of men attacking the poster and defending women. Simply would not happen.

You also see similar with women getting worked up at women having dating preferences that exclude certain groups of men. I have never and mean NEVER seen men attacking other men over their dating preferences in a similar way.

Weird.

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Incredible isn't it. Husband no1 and 2 never once defended me. A hell's angel threatened to rape me once and husband no 1 disappeared to the loo for half an hour. I had to get out of this fix by my own wits.
Husband no 2 made a lot of enemies because he had a big mouth so I would get it in the neck too, even though I was neutral. He'd never once defend me.
I divorced both of them.

Maltipoo · 18/09/2025 02:13

cinquanta · 17/09/2025 08:04

OK, let’s accept that despite the relatively minuscule sample size the YouGov survey is accurate.

That's the core issue- whether or not most men are sexist/misogynist

The core issue, unless I misread the thread title, is whether or not most men are “filthy losers”.

If, as you appear to be arguing, the definition of a filthy loser is somebody who does, or has, watched any kind of porn then, according to the survey you referenced, not only are the majority of men filthy losers but by an admittedly slim majority, so are the majority of women.

Edited

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I naturally assumed you meant the core issue I was talking about, not the question in the OP. You knew what that question was and certainly didn't have to ask me, so it appears what you asked me wasn't a sincere question. 🤷
My definition of a man who is a filthy loser is one who is sexist and misogynistic, one who objectifies women. So I'm trying to get at least a vague sense of what percentage of men are like that. I don't know what the % is.

I also posted data showing the majority of women are biased against other women, so you're preaching to the choir if your last point is that lots of women are shitty.

Maltipoo · 18/09/2025 02:14

Gettingbysomehow · 17/09/2025 12:53

Incredible isn't it. Husband no1 and 2 never once defended me. A hell's angel threatened to rape me once and husband no 1 disappeared to the loo for half an hour. I had to get out of this fix by my own wits.
Husband no 2 made a lot of enemies because he had a big mouth so I would get it in the neck too, even though I was neutral. He'd never once defend me.
I divorced both of them.

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Ugh. Sorry to hear that.

Maltipoo · 18/09/2025 02:35

LemonLass · 17/09/2025 07:28

This thread has gone off topic.

Thie thread appears to have strayed into side snipes at other posters (ego wars) as well as use of porn, the ethics and degrees of porn.

To bring this thread back in line with title, the mooted topic is the suggestion that "Most Men Are Filthy Losers".

For what it is worth, men (and women) are more than one thing. As a sum of parts and emotions, behaviour is fluid and responsive to situations. Most men have the potential to be filthy losers (could have a further post about that definition). Some act on that, some do not. It is complex and true for some posters, whilst also being not true for others because our lives are shaped by our lived experience.

Some may recall I had a cleaning job where the 70yr+ client sent me an inappropriate text about wanking, lube and when called out, he said it was intended as a joke, then changed mind and said wasnt intended for me. I thknk his behaviour was that of a filthy loser in that instance. I dont work for him anymore. So some men can be filthy losers. You choose your response.

HTH
LemonLass

The side swipes were from a homophobic goader who started insulting me as not being "a normal woman" and having "issues" as soon as I said I'm not interested in men. I'm not responding to that poster at all now, so hopefully the bigoted provocations won't continue. I didn't notice anybody else on the thread being particularly petty.
Otoh porn use is not off topic, it's very relevant if you believe porn is misogynistic. My definition of a filthy loser is a misogynistic, pervy creep who treats women like objects. It appears yours is the same, because that's certainly what the man in your story sounds like. Yuck!

ThatWasJustANoise · 18/09/2025 07:24

Homophobic?

@Maltipoo could you explain why you think that.

If you are ignoring me that's fine but I'm definitely not homophobic.

ThatWasJustANoise · 18/09/2025 07:52

Maltipoo · 13/09/2025 18:21

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but there are ways to automatically erase the search history. My ex used Google in Incognito mode to hide his vile porn searches. Only a moron even stupider than him would do that in the regular browser mode where you could find it. So because you found nothing doesn't mean there's nothing to find.
Stats show almost all men use porn or have used porn at some point, so that means so-called "good" men do/have in the past as well.
What my moronic pornsick ex didn't know (even though he works in tech😆) was that sometimes the cache makes a record of sites used in Incognito mode.
Anyway, the point is to not take it for granted that you have a good man. I thought I did too. He was using sick porn the whole 30+ years and cheating for at least five of them that I know of. Maybe some of you do have a genuinely good one, and if so, I'm happy for you.

This was your first post on here which I found patronising.

Original poster

fightbackorriseabove · 18/09/2025 18:35

I'm just catching up with all this. I'm quite glad I used the words "filthy losers" now. It's provoked a lot of debate.

OP posts:

RememberBeKindWithKaren · 18/09/2025 19:23

I think if there was a way to conduct a sound, peer-reviewed scientific test with stratified samples, whatever that means, the proportion of men who are filthy losers wouldn't be a lot different from the proportion of women who are filthy losers.

FunMustard · 18/09/2025 21:54

You know what?

I'd love to think OP was wrong. I haven't personally experienced what she has, so I guess I could easily accept she's exaggerating or overreacting.

But...

Gisele Pelicot?
An online group of what, 75k men sharing pictures of their wives?
More than one of those actually?

I am a straight married woman with only sons. I have to believe that some men aren't like that, else I'd go mad.

Winelondon · 23/09/2025 12:07

fightbackorriseabove · 18/09/2025 18:35

I'm just catching up with all this. I'm quite glad I used the words "filthy losers" now. It's provoked a lot of debate.

I am sure you are. You must be so "proud" at promoting such flagrant sexism and misandry. Your anti-men stance speaks volumes about the sort of person you seem to be.