To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

Do you really not know the shocking level of abuse and outright rape that goes on in the porn industry or are you pretending you don't in order to support your argument? Men giving clicks (and therefore income to continue production) to producers of material in which participants are abused is direct harm and far worse than just being a bit of a dick to others sometimes. Do you know about the sky high suicide and drug addiction rates for female porn performers? It's a result of abuse. These women are DYING because sick fucks who use porn create a demand for ever more abusive material. Are you also aware that many of the performers were trafficked into porn in the first place?
Get your priorities right and stop being an apologist for the abuse of women and underaged girls. This is not moral outrage based on something just feeling icky. This is about real world harm. So your argument fails spectacularly. I'm astounded that you think men watching underage girls being raped is "harmless." Are you a porn user?

Plus porn spills into relationships. The increase in males wanting to do vile shit to women because they are so desensitised from the putrid shit they watch.

I have felt sick from some of the defence that has been vomited out in this thread.

What? Lol. My grandfather was a true gentleman and wonderful person as were my lovely uncles. No other man has ever lived up to them. They have all been filthy losers.I don't think they make men like that any more.

Yes you can tell a lot from someone's Internet search history.

A point to mull over, when a person is angry about the way women and girls are treated, why assume that the anger is personal?

Why can the anger not be understood as a valid emotion?

Is it un-feminine to show anger?

Do we always have to be meek and kind?

Why can't a person be angry at the way that 50% of the global population have treated by the 50%?

In the words of Malcome X "anger is a gift"...so use it wisely

I think it's funny when posters post this sort of shit. What would I find? Obviously you know him better than I do.

Mines just shown me his. It contains searches on motorbikes, campervan pitch ups and the weather.

I’ve just looked at DH’s. Disused railway stations, land rovers, English manual for a car satnav, DIY fuel injection, aeroplanes, building materials, Greek food recipes…

They do. I have one, my lovely DH of 34 years marriage.
He is now my Carer and has just taken on this job in his stride.
I am very lucky but have been in abusive relationships when younger.

Bloody weirdos these good men 😂

Mine too 😁

Learning German.
Games.
Countryside walks in Britain (when neither of us can walk far and I even use a walker)

We share a laptop so a lot of the search history is mine. His tend to be amazon, sci-fi, science, traction engines, aeroplanes and seaside towns.

We each have a phone but I often use his if its close to hand.

I could not disagree with this more.

Sadly, because of how men work, if you are objectively 'less attractive' than the OP, you will receive far less smut.

Telling the OP that she needs therapy because of how men interact with her is victim blaming deluxe.

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but there are ways to automatically erase the search history. My ex used Google in Incognito mode to hide his vile porn searches. Only a moron even stupider than him would do that in the regular browser mode where you could find it. So because you found nothing doesn't mean there's nothing to find.
Stats show almost all men use porn or have used porn at some point, so that means so-called "good" men do/have in the past as well.
What my moronic pornsick ex didn't know (even though he works in tech😆) was that sometimes the cache makes a record of sites used in Incognito mode.
Anyway, the point is to not take it for granted that you have a good man. I thought I did too. He was using sick porn the whole 30+ years and cheating for at least five of them that I know of. Maybe some of you do have a genuinely good one, and if so, I'm happy for you.

Hard agree. There is so much internalized misogyny in that horrible comment.

You aren't bursting my bubble. I erase my search history at work. Just own it, some women have had bad experiences with men and can not believe that other women have attracted good men.

You haven't caught us out or got one over us.

I've got a good one. I'm sorry some of you haven't.

All true. The rage of these women when defending men gets so intense that I think it must be defensive in a lot of cases. If they are being this nasty about it I suspect it's because they actually aren't sure their husbands/boyfriends/sons/fathers are as good as they claim they are. They are desperate to believe the men in their lives are exceptions from the rule, so they lie to themselves that the rule doesn't exist, that's it's actually the other way around and most men are not sexist or misogynist. The reality is that most of them do have sexist and misogynistic beliefs and behaviours. This is backed up by research. Some of them hide it better than others and sometimes they don't even bother to try, yet even then some women still refuse to see it and will insist to their dying day that their husband (or whoever) was a fine, decent man without a shred of piggery in him.
I find it sad. Even sadder, a great many women are as sexist against other women, at least in terms of their beliefs, as men are. We are seeing evidence of female on female sexism and misogyny right here in this thread. We've seen victim blaming and misogynistic slurs (commonplace stuff on MN) supposedly from women to other women. Sexism and misogyny really haven't gotten much better and in some places they have gotten worse.

The depressing facts;

www.undp.org/press-releases/almost-90-men/women-globally-are-biased-against-women

If that was what you took from my post, you are being highly defensive. I indicated no desire to catch anyone out or get one over on anyone.

Of course having bad experiences can colour your perspective. However, my perspective did not change because of bad experiences, it existed before that. I have simply done my research and it showed most men are indeed sexist/misogynist, to varying degrees of course. Most men use/have used porn, almost all of them in fact, and almost all porn has elements that are violent and/or degrading to women. These are facts, and facts aren't negated because you, personally, have supposedly not had that experience. You can certainly stick your head in the sand if you like, but I prefer to face uncomfortable truths.

I'm glad you do. It doesn't change the reality that most men are indeed sexist/misogynist. This isn't personal about your particular husbands, sons or whoever, it's about a general trend. In general, men do not genuinely respect women as equals. It's a fact proven over and over by research.

I dont stick my head in the sand. My first ever boyfriend was awful. I have met my best friend and married him. We have been each others rock in the last 20 something years. He makes me laugh, is loving, let me be a SAHM for the first 3 years of our child's life, earns more than me but we share the money but I do have a good job, has never been abusive and the person I turn to when I'm stressed. We also have a good sex life. I'm not being defensive. He's a good person. I can't be bothered to argue that I'm stupid for trusting him.

I was not saying anyone is stupid for trusting. Without trust, there is no relationship, so of course you must trust him. I'm glad you have a good relationship.
I was just warning women who may not be aware of the tricks some men use to hide who they really are that looking at the history on the regular browser is not going to prove anything. There was no need to take that personally.
When I spoke of putting one's head in the sand, it was about women not facing the fact that most men are sexist/misogynist. It was not about any particular man, yours or anyone else's.

I don't want to burst anyone's bubble, but there are ways to automatically erase the search history. My ex used Google in Incognito mode to hide his vile porn searches. Only a moron even stupider than him would do that in the regular browser mode where you could find it. So because you found nothing doesn't mean there's nothing to find.

Conversely, it doesn’t mean there is anything to find.

What constitutes vile porn is also subjective. To some, any porn is vile. Others may have a much higher threshold.

There may be nothing to find, but a Danish study found 98% of men use porn, so the probability for any individual man is extremely high. Other studies have had it lower, but still a large majority. Sadly, a smaller majority of women use it as well, which explains "pick me" culture and internalized misogyny as an extension of the rape culture which porn is instrumental in. It has led to women engaging in anal sex, choking, and other acts popularized by porn, just to insure a man chooses them and sticks around. It's so depressing.

What is vile is subjective, and anyone who doesn't think, for example, that underage and other rape porn (or any porn involving violence) is vile is not a person I want anything to do with. I would consider such a man a ticking time bomb for domestic abuse and/or sexual assault.

Denmark is a disturbing country though in some ways. They used to have really lax CSAM laws, for one. Was the study only of Danish men?

Are you accusing women who enjoy men's company of internal misogyny and are pick me girls? You must really hate men. Why have you used Denmark as an example?

Can I ask if you have any Sons?