To think most men are filthy losers

[fightbackorriseabove]

I'm going through the menopause, so have a low libido at the moment, which might explain my disgust. I don't know. I didn't use to be a prude, but I'm feeling more and more annoyed these days by men and their general behaviour.

I have a few male friends who, to varying degrees, always manage to slip in an innuendo or even an outright sexual remark. And out of politeness, or not wanting to cause a scene, I smile or roll my eyes in jest. I can only think of one occasion when I told a bloke to stop, and he REALLY took the hump. This was a married man who pursued me, but then said he was just joking and that I took myself too seriously. In fact, he got very angry.

I have lots of personal issues at the moment. Mad stuff. One of these issues lead to me googling my ex.

Well, the filth I found was disturbing. Men, thousands of them, masturbating online. I can only think they're doing it in front of each other. Becsuse there can't be many women wanting to sit and watch them. Surely? My ex was one of them.

I'm not talking about Only Fans where people pay. I'm talking about sex webcam stuff where men seem to just be filming themselves wanking. And watching each other. I don't even think it's gay. These are heterosexual men doing it for free. All ages.

Maybe I'm naïve.

But it's been a real eye opener for me.

I always knew men watched porn. But sitting there filming themselves and watching each other. It's madness.

I really do think that we, as women, spend our time worrying, working, caring, thinking, planning... and men just do the stuff thry have to do and then go back to messing with themselves or pestering women. Including their wives. And they keep having to up the limit because they can't get excited uness it's something really vile.

How many of us have felt obliged to have sex with a man, a partner, to avoid his anger, sulking, grumpiness. We've chosen sex as the lesser of two evils when we didn't want it.

It's not a human right, is it? They need to calm the fuck down.

Maybe I'm being unreasonable and grumpy, but I just think most of them ming.

That was 98% of young Danish men.

A very specific sample. Not 98% of the world’s male population.

Why would Danish men be so different from other men? It's a left leaning society which supports women's rights. If anything, men there should be expected to be less sexist than men in more conservative societies, not more.

I don't know how you got that idea. The answer is an unqualified no. I'm saying some women have been brainwashed by porn into doing men's bidding sexually, allowing painful and degrading acts. They do so because of a pick me mentality resulting from internalized misogyny. They are trying to get men to choose them and stay with them by being sexually compliant. It's nothing to do with enjoying men's company.

That is a well known study, so I cited it. I could cite more studies which show it being lower, but they still show a large majority. Why do you care about the country the research was done in?

I'm not answering personal questions from people who falsely accuse me of any kind of bigotry. Be civil and rational if you want that kind of information.

Perhaps they are no different, but you don’t know that. What you are presenting as fact is mere supposition.

And you are still glossing over the fact that the study sample was young Danish men, not all Danish men.

Hmmmm… it does unfortunately have to be pointed out that serious car crashes are more likely to have been caused by a man also, the nutter kicking in the door is most likely male and so is the terrorist, so in most of these cases these men who are “saving” women are having to do so because of situations caused by men! The fire is the only likely exception. And there are many excellent female firefighters. Sadly many women are deterred from working in the fire service by the misogynistic culture…

Well you clearly haven't got any men in your life that you like.

I hope in a land or galaxy or universe, be it near or far-far away, there is a man or men sincerely defending women on whatever chosen method of communication they use.

You don't have to find it, you just have to believe it. If you believe it then any attempt on his part to deny it can be bypassed. In order for it to be true for you it doesn't need to have happened it merely needs to be believed.

Why are you creating strawmen arguments about this poster? Giving a statistic or generalizing about the behaviour of men does not mean an individual hates all men. Loving the men in your life does not undo or allow us to ignore the systematic oppression of women through the ages and in multiple countries even now about the globe.

The poster was saying that no matter that we see our partners search history that they are probably hiding another search history. I know my DH better than anyone. I know what he likes regarding sex. We have a good sex life and do what we are comfortable with.

Also, is STRAWMAN the new word after MISOGYNY. Some of you just repeat the same words over and over again like you think you are so clever.

Yes, I know some men are dangerous. I'm not thick. To preach to women that we don't know our Husbands is disrespectful and can come across as jealous that we have picked a good one.

That is actually a good point about young men. It is higher when they are younger, but people don't change completely just because of age, so it would be expected to be a smaller majority up until the point where men lose most if their interest in sex in old age, when it would be expected to be a minority. So my point stands. Odds are high that any individual man is using it or at least has at some point.
Why are you so determined to deny that reality?
It's probably not at all reassuring for young women to know that their porn obsessed partners may be less obsessed when they are older. Don't their concerns count? They're being coerced into doing things men see in porn. I can offer stats on that too, and UK ones at that. They are shocking and revolting, so you might not want to know.

But back to the core issue. How's this for facts;

Three-quarters of British men (76%) say they have ever watched porn, compared to around half of women (53%). Around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week.

https://yougov.co.uk/society/articles/42945-how-often-do-britons-watch-porn

I wouldn't have posted about it if the Danish study was the only data I had. It's just the most well known study.
Remember also that these studies are based on self reporting, meaning it's almost certain that some percentage of men are ashamed and are therefore are not admitting the truth about their porn use, so we can almost certainly count on the percentage being higher. Self reporting based studies about embarassing subjects which require shameful admissions are all limited by this.

You are clearly wrong in your assumptions and completely off base, but why let that stop you. You're free to post whatever self-serving nonsense comes into your head and I'm free to ignore it. Have fun with it.

Indeed. Thank you.
When people get defensive and go on the attack because of it, it says they fear something.

I have a DS and I have spoke to him when it was appropriate that if he saw porn then that was not how sex should be.

So get off your high horse thinking I dont understand the problem with porn.

To tell women that they don't know their Husbands when they have a healthy relationship with them is out of order.

I think your DH left you for an affair partner. It doesn't mean all men don't love their wives.

Bollocks, I know my Husband loves me.

@Maltipoo You do sound a bit dogmatic! I've had some terrible DPs and as far as I know all the man I've been with have watched porn, but not one of them has made me do anything degrading based on porn preferences, nor were they obsessed with porn. The sexual urge can be very strong in (especially younger) men, but it doens't turn them all into monsters. It's like saying all women would kill for an ice cream. I mean I love ice cream, but it doesn't drive my life.

Nope. I said there may be more to find in some cases, not that there definitely is more, and I said this was a general statement of fact, not about any individual man. Do you not understand that a general statement of fact doesn't mean it's true about everyone? You really don't know statistics work, that they reflect general trends, not individual truths?

Posing a strawman is arguing a point the other person didn't make, which is exactly what you are doing. You're just resentful that it was called out, so now you're being hostile to @OutsideLookingOut. You seem to have a hostility problem with other women.

Jealous? You sound like a Real Housewife. Women who are competitive with other women like to fling that accusation around without cause. It's based on a projection. It sounds like you assume other women are competitive about men because you are. I'm happy for other women who have good men and I have no interest in having a man, good or otherwise, so I'm not in the ring fighting it out for the small supply of good men as you apparently imagine I am. You could throw your allegedly good man on top of me with a dozen roses in his hand and a giant erection in his pants with the full assurance that I would be unimpressed. Now, let's have enough of this nonsense and go about our business, because this has become tiresome.

Wow, you have issues.

More stupid assumptions based on absolutely nothing. I said none of the things you claim I did. You are being untruthful so you can have an excuse for your aggression. You're trying to provoke me to lose my cool with ugly comments about my personal life, which only displays your extreme defensiveness and hostility towards other women.

You really aren't good at trying to troll up some ire and should find a new hobby. This is not my first rodeo with a goady poster.

?

You have misunderstood. A general comment does not refer to individuals. It's about a trend, and if it doesn't apply to you, that's great.
There are stats on this and they are disturbing. Glad to hear you have not experienced it.

Of course sex drive doesn't turn anyone into a monster, but having violent misogyny and entitlement reinforced as pleasurable and acceptable can, in susceptible men.

A lust for ice cream vs sexusl urges. Wow what a comparison.

Today I will research if anyone has ever raped or murdered because they were gagging for a Mr Whippy.

@Maltipoo

Three-quarters of British men (76%) say they have ever watched porn, compared to around half of women (53%). Around a third of men (36%) say they watch pornography at least once a week, including 13% who watch porn every day or most days, while just 4% of women say they watch porn at least once a week

Three quarters from a sample size of roughly 0.01% of the UK adult male population. Similar overall sample size for adult females.

All that can reliably be taken from that survey, as presented, is that British men and women watch porn. But, is that “vile” porn, soft porn, or something else?

Remember also that these studies are based on self reporting, meaning it's almost certain that some percentage of men are ashamed and are therefore are not admitting the truth about their porn use, so we can almost certainly count on the percentage being higher. Self reporting based studies about embarassing subjects which require shameful admissions are all limited by this

More supposition. The men could be exaggerating and the women doing the opposite. You don’t know.

Remind me, what is the core issue? Relative porn use between the sexes?

We only have to look at the news to see that misogyny is so deep rooted and accepted the leader of the government a so called human rights lawyer is willing to turn a blind eye on who he appointed in order to get a good deal with the US. A friend of an extremely predatory child sex offender.

With these a role models at the top what chance have we got at the average man being all for women's rights.

It is a logical fallacy, it is usually best to debate in good faith and without creating arguments against what a poster has never said.

The poster, to me, said it is very likely most men have watched porn even if they tell you otherwise and it is very easy to hide it. This does not mean your husband, son, uncle etc etc has watched porn just that it is likely.

For example, it is very likely Gisele Pelicot thought her husband was very good and it is likely that the wives, daughters, girlfriends etc etc of the men in a forum about raping them think they are good too because they do not know. This does not mean that no man is good, or that this impacts you. It is a discussion of probability.