For not paying half when I'm leaving.

[Cuppatealover]

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

Don't pay him. You were only going to pay him back if you had long term use of the property.

He says he's in financial hardship because of it? Nonsense. The money has been spent and he's perfectly capable of earning more. If he took out a bunch of loans to pay for it and he can't afford to pay it back then that's his own problem.

Just leave and ignore his requests for payment. There's no paperwork saying there was a loan so legally he's not got a leg to stand on. Nor were there timeframes for when it should be paid back.

It's his house. He needs blinds and a floor to walk upon!

Unless you get a chainsaw out and take half of everything he's on about. That would be quite amusing.

You've been there 6 months (ish). How much have you paid and what for?

I wouldn't pay for them. They are his appliances and his blinds in his house. He is keeping them, so he pays for them. If you were staying in the house, I would expect you to reimburse him in full. He doesbt get to keep everything and get paid for it. If he wants to give you the white goods to the equivalent of 1/2 then I'd pay him the half and take the stuff.

You've paid half bills and half rent so that's fair enough. If there's anything you can use in next property perhaps buy/take that.

OP didn't lose her baby. She told us in her first post "I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby." So, any callousness on his part is due to disappointment at not becoming a father. That doesn't excuse him calling OP names, of course, but let's remember the facts as they've been presented to us by OP and not spin them.

He had faith you would pay
You had faith he wasn't a cunt...
Offer up a direct debit when you move. Send him a fiver a week.

Huge dripfeed aside, how can you rent your own place if you're in so much debt?

Did you see him as a ticket out of that?

Reading your recent post OP I'd tell him to do one. He's getting the benefit of all his improvements, you owe him nothing. Move out & move on.

wtf. Can you leave her alone please? If you can’t offer helpful advice, find another thread.

If you pay half you own half - that’s how it works.

So given the flooring is fixed and presumably the blinds are made to measure for the windows, the only removable objects are the the kitchen appliances

In which case I’d say yes I’ll pay half, but I take the kitchen appliances with me. Or if he wants to keep these which I am guessing he will, then he then pays you out for these by cancelling your debt

Paying him half makes no sense but maybe doing a rough calculation of “wear and tear” for those few months would be fair enough.

Yes, you won’t be keeping any of it, but you’ve been benefiting from it.

No, I'm fine where I am.

HTH.

I hope you've talked someone into being a guarantor for you OP?

Because you certainly won't be creditworthy?

Blinds and flooring are part of the house. Are the appliances of use to you? If so, buy those from him leaving the blinds and flooring. Making a financial adjustment if needed.
He can't expect a payment for something you'll never use, but he will.

When my daughter was moving her boyfriend in, she was advised that they should wholly pay for items themselves, no cost splitting. Good advice as it turned out.

They've only been living in this place for 3 weeks. I wish my DH would be as motivated to get so much done in 3 weeks. It takes him 3 weeks to think about doing anything😂

Rights and wrongs of how much OP should pay for the items aside how do we know she earns more than him?

He trusted OP to repay, but she also trusted him to be a long term partner and father of a child, which didn't work out.

No, it doesn’t help because you’re not helping anyone.

She’s found a house and she hasn’t asked for credit advice so it’s unnecessary.

No, they've been living in it since March, so six months.

Don’t pay it. You will be pissing money away to benefit solely him.

I think you should pay some as you committed to the expense and generally people don’t pay out for blinds and flooring in a rental. But not half. Assume legally you should be paying half the rental too.

You must have been quite far along if you were pregnant in January and had the abortion in May, I can understand why he’s so upset if you had been excited about the baby prior to this, seems a huge u-turn to make.

If you read my further posts, I have said I am getting a loan to consolidate my debts and pay for the deposit on the new house!