For not paying half when I'm leaving.

[Cuppatealover]

Very emotional and awful time right now. I'll try to keep it as short as possible.
Been through a hell of a year. Decided to move in with partner in January. A week after signing for the rented house we found out I was pregnant. All good.
Moved in end of March and partner had paid to get whole house blinds fitted, new floors through the house and appliances for kitchen. We agreed I would pay him back my half for these.
Fast forward and relationship has just gradually got worse and broken down. I had a termination of pregnancy in May due to various reasons which I know he resents me for as he wanted the baby.
Had a row the other week as I told him I do not want to be in this relationship anymore and how do we go about the split re house and associated costs. He still expects half for the blinds, flooring and appliances (I haven't paid anything yet) but intends to stay in the house and won't move. Has said if I'm unhappy then I should move. Which I agree with. But I've said I'm not paying half for things he is keeping of he is staying in the house. I can't take half a fridge freezer or blinds!
I have now found a house and told him after looking for months. Got two cats so it's incredibly difficult to find a rental. Now I've told him it's erupted into a huge row about how I'm trying to worm my way out of paying him back and putting him in financial hardship because he wouldn't have paid for those things if he knew I wasn't going to pay half.

This!

Agree @Cuppatealover in 8 months have you paid anything?

Seeing as he’s staying in the property and keeping the appliances, I wouldn’t pay him
anything. Did you pay half of the deposit?

I think you are being unreasonable.

You made an agreement to contribute half. Now that you are moving out, you should agree a fair amount, although not half. You should also both behave like adults and discuss the practicalities of your split.

You entered into a financial agreement with this man. You have now reneged on that deal. Sorry but you are in the wrong.

Think you’re wrong here

So the property is a rental but on a rent to buy with the view to buying the property at the end of 5 years. There were no blinds, flooring or appliances in the house which is why they were purchased.
I am in a difficult financial situation paying debts back which is why I haven't yet contributed anything.
I've said to him if he wants to move then I'd find a way to pay for what he has in full as it would then be my house. Obviously I can't take half the floor and blinds as it stands. He will not move out which is why I've found my own rental.
I do understand where he is coming from as he has said well if you had already paid, would you be asking for half back. Well yes, I would as he is the one staying and benefiting from the products?!
It seems nonsensical to pay £1.5k for half this stuff only to move out 3 weeks later?!! Obviously I didnt plan for this to breakdown so badly and made a huge mistake but I am where I am.

It is so sad to hear how disparaging people can be to those that put their trust in others. He obviously thought this was for the long term. It’s a great shame OP didn’t.

Did you contribute anything towards the deposit? I would deduct that from anything you agree to pay (there’s no guarantee you’ll get that back later down the line, especially if he’s not happy with you decide to do now).

I would also want to take some of the kitchen appliances depending on how much you contribute - He can’t have it both ways.

You lived there 6 months. If we say the things he bought have a lifetime of 10 years you should be liable for half of 5% ie 2.5%. Give him that and tell him it’s all he’s getting

Set up sone sort of payment plan, but you agreed to go halves on that stuff so you should do.

I am contributing half to all of our bills and rent as it currently stands. As well as the cost of running a car (he doesn't drive).
I am having to take out a loan to afford to move and consolidate my debts.

I juat haven't paid for the goods. I contribute monthly to all of our out goings.
I am having to move because of the mental headspace I am currently in.
Since the termination I have been called a moron, I'm rotten and a baby killing deadbeat. So despite him paying out for things I do feel it's best I leave and as soon as possible.
I mean three weeks from today. If I pay him back now and move in three weeks. I understand I've been in the house longer than that, which is what he's said. I've had "use" out of the goods. But he is keeping them and doesn't intend to move.

The only mistake you made was telling him. Of course give him nothing towards this.

But if you're living there, why wouldn't you pay half bills/rent?
How often do you taxi him about?

Well of course you dont owe him half now.

but i'd be really petty and pro-rata the cost of how much ive used them based on expected lifetime of the appliance. So e.g. a fridge lasts what, 6 years? Work out 8 months usage of that and pay that type thing.

If you pay half, you keep half. So in this instance you leave with things that are not fixed down.
ie washing machine, fridge.
He has a choice, he can keep the stuff he has bought & will be profiting from. or you pay & keep half then he has to replace at his cost

I've said to him if he wants to move then I'd find a way to pay for what he has in full as it would then be my house. Obviously I can't take half the floor and blinds as it stands.m

Your suggestion is absolutely fair. Whoever stays in the house pays for the goods.

Please don’t let him bully you into paying.

Remind him that you have fees and deposit to pay for new house.

Who paid the deposit for the current house? Is he giving you that?

I've been looking for a rental for the last 3m.
Have only just been able to find one that accepts pets as I have two cats.
I have debts of around 3k which take most of my monthly disposable income. I'm taking a loan for around 5k to consolidate those debts for a lower interest rate and get the deposit for the new rental. It's not like I have money that I'm not giving him to be spiteful.