To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

One flipping meal op

ONE meal

and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

well quite clearly op, you don’t! 😆

No I really do 😅

All the kids have pizza and the adults have a roast?

Do pizza for all the kids and roast for the adults then?

surely spending time together is more important than stressing over one meal?

It's one meal for family you rarely see. Let all kids have a pizza party, decorate small table etc and have a bit of fun. Then adults can traditional toast and a nice catch up.

So much necessary drama. Cook the roast cook the pizza . Serve your nephew the pizza separately or just let your kids have pizza to as a one off. It won’t kill them

Roasts for the adults pizza for all the kids

Go out for dinner, that way everyone can eat what they like.

I'd be raging if someone did that while I was cooking them dinner.

Yeah, one meal that takes freaking hours to cook

I got up at 4am to slow cook that lamb at Easter and she shoves a pizza in my oven 😆

Feed the kids pizza first, then send them off to play and have the adults have the roast!

Book a table at a local carvery and people order and pay for what they want. Those who want roasts can have it and those who want pizzas or anything else can also get their favourite.

Job done.

“She didn’t ask if she could put the pizza in my oven”……

how else was she expected to cook it.

she didn’t want you to have to sort something separate for your nephew so sorted it herself.

The biggest issue here is opening the oven door while the Yorkshires are in there! Need a separate pizza oven imho 🙂

I KNOW RIGHT!!

Psycho behaviour!!!

This is such a non issue. I cant imagine getting upset over this. Your nephew is autistic and will only eat certain foods, why not just be supportive...people are dying.

One meal op

ONE flipping meal

He's autistic. What he eats may well be extremely restricted. You have no idea how draining and dispiriting it is trying to negotiate life with a child with food issues. It's bloody awful.

Give all the children pizza if that's what they'd like. It's not a hill to die on.

i don’t know, the poor kid is far from home, probably jet lagged, with people he rarely meets. Just be nice to him. He’ll remember that far more than some Yorkshire puddings.

This! You could even order pizza in to save oven doors from being opened!

Sorry, she opened the oven while YORKSHIRE PUDDINGS were cooking? That is a capital offence.

How old are your children? Are they old enough to understand special needs if you explain in age appropriate ways? Could the kids all have pizza as a rare treat if that’s what they’d all enjoy whilst the adults have the roast - which sounds amazing?

As someone with a child who isn’t able to eat many things others do, I totally understand your sister’s wanting to include him in the meal and give him something he’ll eat. It should have been discussed though and not her just go interfering in your kitchen.

So I’d say no to making the roast if you don’t want to cook and would rather not stand in the kitchen for hours. But if it’s just because she’s got a SEN kid then I’d find a way that makes everyone happy and enjoy the day.

Fhs Op, if your sister lives in Oz, then presumably you don’t see her and your nephew more than once a year?

And your nephew has autism!

Please check your priorities!

Cook a lovely roast, support your sister, show some kindness to your nephew and explain to your children that your nephew is allowed to eat something different because he has ASD and educate them about sensory issues.

You need to invest in Aunt Bessie's to avoid this problem (runs and hides 😂)