To not want to cook for my sister and nephew when she comes over?

[Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar]

My sister lives in Australia with my nephew, soon to be 12.
She's coming over for a visit next month and obviously we spend as much time as possible with her while she's here.
Last time she came was Easter last year and I had everyone round my house for an Easter roast.
My mum is asking me to get everyone at mine together again for a roast as I have the biggest house and my roasts are "amazing" (they are, even if I do say so myself 😜) and she's told my sister that she's sure I will do this and sister is now looking forward to a "proper British roast". Great.

Last time she was here, she came into my kitchen while I was cooking, opened the oven while my YORKSHIRES were in there (!!!!) and put in a cheese and tomato pizza. She then gave this to her son because "he won't eat roasts".
This pizza was not discussed with me, she didn't ask if she could shove it in my oven and made no attempt to get nephew to join in and eat what the rest of us were eating. I then had to try and get my kids to eat their vegetables while their cousin is sat two feet away, chowing down on pizza.

I don't want pizzagate happening again, and I don't want nephew eating something my kids would rather be eating right in front if them (they like roasts, but it's PIZZA) but sister will insist its necessary because nephew is autistic.

I have suggested that he eat before he comes but sister says she doesn't want him excluded (neither do I)

I've suggested we all just have pizza but sister wants her "proper British roast" and I love cooking for everyone and giving my family food cooked with love.

What to do?

How considerate of her to plan in advance and take the pressure away from you of having to find something her nephew will eat.
My son is autistic and would starve rather than eat roast lamb (he wouldn’t eat pizza either to be fair). So far no one has ever objected to us providing food that he will eat, as hosts would generally rather their guests don’t go hungry. Even on Christmas Day we take him a selection of his favourite foods.

You’re being ridiculous and inhospitable. Either give all the children pizza or talk to your own children beforehand and explain that they will get the roast but they can have pizza a different day. (No room in the oven for lots of pizzas plus a roast?)

Ask your sister if she would like you to cook anything for DN and ask her not to open the oven door without asking you first.

Is it really that difficult?

I would give all the kids pizza's and leave the adults to the roast I really dont see why it has to be an epic struggle

Jesus Christ, you need to lighten up.

You said that already. Are you that poster I recognize who always is rude and goady to OPs? If so, I wish that @MNHQ would do something about you.

Take it you haven’t read practically all the other posts agreeing with me, often much more forthrightly 😆

What a ridiculous faff. You don't say how old your kids are but my DD is 6 and would easily understand why her cousin was having pizza and she wasn't. I'd just tell her she can have pizza the next day.

Buy Aunt Bessie ready made Yorkshire puddings which won't spoil if there's a pizza in there with them.

This is the real offence in the entire story!
And I am speaking as someone who cannot cook Yorkshire puddings. Lord knows I tried many, many times and I just can't do it. Even I know the over door must remain shut.

1 minute on the naughty step for each year of your age? Maybe write out 'I must not upset @AliceMaforethought' 100 times for the crime of double posting? Meanie 😂

You either love cooking for everyone (in which case you won’t care what time you get up), or you’re resentful because not ‘everyone’ will eat your roast.

You are showing you have absolutely no understanding of special needs and will not accept that your nephew requires some reasonable adjustments.

If you really love your sister and nephew, then cook a roast for your sister and let your nephew have his bloody pizza. If you think your kids will kids up a fuss, then be kind and let them eat pizza as well. It’s just one day.

Didn’t feel comfortable enough to ask her sis to make a pizza but comfortable enough to bring one, open the oven whilst op is cooking and put a pizza in without mentioning it? You’re just trying to make op sound ghastly!

No she doesn't sound 'ghastly'. Why do posters have to be so insulting and rude to the OP?

OP has suggested everyone having pizza but OP's sister has objected to that. To be honest, if OP is hosting, it's her decision what food to serve.

No wonder she lives in Australia .

You really need to get over yourself by putting your feelings to the side occasionally.

Yorkshire Puddings don’t sink if the oven door is open for a few seconds. Assuming the fat was smoking hot, and there is steam in the oven, they will be fine. I often open the door to check the roasts etc… and never had a problem (the secret is the extra egg white)

Anyhow, the OP seems to want criticism of the woman brining up an Autistic child, with restrictive eating. I couldn’t bring myself to think harshly if someone, in that situation, regardless of how long they left my oven door open for. Stressed, and working on auto-pilot, is much more likely that “evil witch who deliberately wants to ruin your perfect roast dinner”

As for getting up at 4am (probably something ASS parents do more that you think) to put the Lamb in … that’s your choice, so stop being a martyr about it.

Great compromise, & a treat for all the kids, order in pizza, if your nephew will eat this

My niece has Coeliac Disease & our family regularly eat gluten free at her home, or e.g., birthday cake when in our homes, as it's inclusive

Why not just put an empty plate in front of your nephew while the rest of you are stuffing your faces? That'll show them.

Or just offer to cook the bloody pizza for them, maybe.

This thread separates out those people who have some kind of a clue what parenting children with autism is like and those who don’t.

if you do, your perspective changes, and even if you were once the kind of ‘image is everything’/uptight kind of person, you very very swiftly change to recognise what is important,
and super high Yorkshires really aren’t it.

be very grateful op that your life is so flipping easy, that you are still banging on about an utter non event from a year ago.

I have no child with autism

I think the Op is being utterly unreasonable

I can’t work out whether you’re trying to be humorous or not

your DN is autistic, your sister takes responsibility for cooking something appropriate and your response is the meanest, most self centred and inhospitable one possible

You are sounding ridiculous @Cantheowneroftheredcorsapleasemovetheircar . I too am a great cook, I don’t usually feel the need to blow my own trumpet but apparently you feel superior to others 🙄. Give all the kids pizza… it’s not hard - by using phrases like ‘chomping down’ you were being horrid and now back peddling about the yorkshires. Last time it was a surprise, this time you can plan and be organised in advance. Surely for such a kitchen whizz like yourself it really didn’t need a post to bitch about your sister and nephew to figure that one out?

OP if your sister and nephew are visiting from the otherside of the world, you can make a roast and pizza 😂

Lower your expectations and take it in your stride. I find having a glass of wine helps.

Try and orchestrate it so that other family members entertain your DS and DN whilst you are cooking... far far away from the kitchen!

Good luck!!

Your sister might have spoken to you about this first, but goodness me YABU

Agreed

clearly op pissed off

but then making out it’s all a bit of a giggle