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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
MrsLizzieDarcy · 31/08/2025 13:39

I would drop a polite note in first of all, then if it happens again I'd report them to the Police.

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:41

Sunshineandoranges · 31/08/2025 13:19

I don’t agree. When I was younger I used to dress in front of an uncurtained window at night with the light on. I didn’t realise that people could see me. With light turned off, no problem. Someone told me which was a bit embarrassing but far better than continuing undressing so people could see me. I would drop a note perhaps.

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You really thought people couldn't see you getting undressed, in front of an open 'uncurtained' window, at night - with the light on? Confused Really?!

Catwalking · 31/08/2025 13:41

I agree OP i wouldn’t want any1 (not only children, maybe your cleaner/builder / elderly relative/ etc. etc.) in my house to be confronted with this neighbours displays! I’d just ask them to close their curtains, by letter if that makes it easier for you.
I might even offer some 2nd hand curtains to start off the new arrangement! Or can some form of outdoor barrier keep the bedroom view hidden?

Teanbiscuits33 · 31/08/2025 13:41

They’re clearly doing it on purpose. If they know they’ve got massive windows and no curtains in there and they’re doing it in broad daylight, they know what they’re doing. They’re not even trying to be discreet by getting some curtains/blinds or choosing a different room.

A letter won’t work. Report them to the council as a first port of call.

Imaybeoldbutstillrandy · 31/08/2025 13:42

As others have said it sounds like they 'get off' on knowing that people can see them. It's an offence to commit 'lude' acts in public which, in effect, is what they're doing.

I was mortified to be told (very gently & kindly) by my neighbour that my kitchen blinds are not as thick as I thought &, when she was putting her bins out the other night, she could see the outline of me while I was padding around in the kitchen in the dark nude & with the light on. Never again will I wander around my house at night with lights on without a dressing gown on. 😱

Americano75 · 31/08/2025 13:43

If they can be seen without use of binoculars or similar then I'd say that's pretty close.

Rainallnight · 31/08/2025 13:43

purehunners · 31/08/2025 10:25

This!

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Yes, this!

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 13:43

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:18

The loft window will not be on the moon you know. It's perfectly easy to see into a loft window if people are shagging right by it. 🙄(Especially if they have the lights on.) It's just a few feet above the bedroom windows.

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Lots of things are "perfectly possible". And lots of things aren't.

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:44

Teanbiscuits33 · 31/08/2025 13:41

They’re clearly doing it on purpose. If they know they’ve got massive windows and no curtains in there and they’re doing it in broad daylight, they know what they’re doing. They’re not even trying to be discreet by getting some curtains/blinds or choosing a different room.

A letter won’t work. Report them to the council as a first port of call.

Actually, if the letter doesn't work, the next port of call is the police. It's indecent exposure.

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 13:45

Notmyreality · 31/08/2025 13:34

Or 0.75miles away. Or 0.5miles away. So many people being so literal on this thread.

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Except the OP 😀

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:46

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 13:43

Lots of things are "perfectly possible". And lots of things aren't.

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Seeing someone shagging in an open window - even if it is a loft window - is one of those things that is not only perfectly possible, but it is definitely possible. The OP and her family are seeing it. Are you saying she is lying?

TottyMaude · 31/08/2025 13:47

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 13:28

My, what a vivid imagination you have.

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It sounds like an imagination is not needed in this instance. It's posh people dogging.

Original poster
doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

OP posts:
Mysterian · 31/08/2025 13:47

Film it and post it on a relevant site to earn a bit of money.

the5thgoldengirl · 31/08/2025 13:49

This reply has been withdrawn

This message has been withdrawn at the poster's request

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:49

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:12

Posters who are obsessed with the distance… it’s much less than a mile away. You don’t need binoculars to see. Anyone with decent eyesight can make out what they’re doing without purposefully ‘looking out for it’.

Do you want me to include a map or sketch for further analysis?

I think you should LOL, seeing as some people don't seem to believe you. I do. The 'it's OK to shag in an open window so everyone can see you' brigade are the ones who don't. Glad I don't live near them! 😬

Teanbiscuits33 · 31/08/2025 13:49

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:44

Actually, if the letter doesn't work, the next port of call is the police. It's indecent exposure.

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Yes, I know it is. My point being is they are unlikely to be bothered by a letter from a member of the public because if they’re getting off by people seeing it, they will just have proof it works and they will laugh.

If OP reports it to the council and they get a professional headed letter from them with a warning, they might stop. If not, then police. That’s just how I would personally go about it. There is nothing wrong with people handling it differently.

DramaLlamacchiato · 31/08/2025 13:50

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

No need to attack everyone else. You were the one who said it was some distance away, without quantifying that. It could have been the case they didnt know how visible it was.

TottyMaude · 31/08/2025 13:50

BigDeepBreaths · 31/08/2025 12:52

A note advising that your birdwatch camera has picked up them having sex…but that you managed to intervene on this occasion before oblivious DC posted it to Tiktok…

😂

MissScarletInTheBallroom · 31/08/2025 13:50

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

How was it resolved?

SummerDaysAreTheBest · 31/08/2025 13:51

Iloveyoubut · 31/08/2025 10:29

What is everyone going on about? You can’t just ‘do what you want in your own house’ ffs. Is it ok for someone to stand bollock naked at their window and masturbate for everyone to see? No. No it’s not! And it’s not OP’s job to make sure her kids have to hide behind curtains in their own home to avoid them seeing a pair of idiots shagging. You’re will within your rights to phone the police if you want. You’re not allowed to just bang away in full view of people … believe it or not! Ffs.

This.

Zov · 31/08/2025 13:51

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

Oh cross post. That's good news! So, did you confront them?

PurpleSocks37 · 31/08/2025 13:52

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 13:47

It’s been resolved now and I thank everyone who agreed that it’s not acceptable at all. To those who even considered it to be (given children were in the equation) either don’t have kids themselves or if they do, don’t give two about them!
Also says a lot about one’s character when defending such action.

How was resolved? Did you write the letter?

andthat · 31/08/2025 13:53

MsTamborineMan · 31/08/2025 10:20

It'd hardly prudish to not want your young children to see people having sex. Moat adults would be horrified that a child could see you shagging from their bedroom window

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This.

some people on this site are absolutely bat shit.