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AIBU?

Share your dilemmas and get honest opinions from other Mumsnetters.

Original poster

Couple having sex in front of window

462 replies

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

OP posts:
Moonnstars · 31/08/2025 10:30

I think the issue is how far in the distance is it and how frequently you are actually looking into their window. Because a neighbour mentioned to you what they once saw, have you been subconsciously now looking to see if you spot anything?

LlynTegid · 31/08/2025 10:31

Letters will be ignored.

If you can go near enough to the house to be heard then fake noises or applause or cheering comments will probably do the trick.

DancingLions · 31/08/2025 10:31

People on these types of threads always say “just don’t look”.
If some creepy guy flashed at your kids in a park would you tell them “just don’t look”? No, you’d call the police.

This couple can’t be so stupid as to not know they can be seen. If this was a single man wanking in front of the window would you all be so calm then? I’d be having a word with them and, if it continued, calling the police. Because by that point it would definitely be deliberate.

Coconutter24 · 31/08/2025 10:31

purehunners · 31/08/2025 10:25

This!

Show quote history

It would only be indecent exposure if the couple are aware they are being watched, if they have intent for someone to see.
It would depend how far in the distance the house is, it could be so far they think they won’t be seen? Or it could be 100m away which you presumably would know you’d be seen

MissMoneyFairy · 31/08/2025 10:31

It's performance sex, did your dh close the kids bedroom curtains as soon as he saw , how far away is their house,

PorcelainBlueCorydalis · 31/08/2025 10:33

ElfAndSafetyBored · 31/08/2025 10:19

So PPs think it is OK to put on live sex shows? I’m not sure it is. It sounds like indecent exposure to me.

It’s not like OP has gone looking for it, or snuck into their garden to watch. She’s in her own home.

The house is in the distance, I suspect op dh was using binoculars

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:34

I can’t believe some of these responses. To me it’s public indecency. I would take photo evidence and go to the police.

PorcelainBlueCorydalis · 31/08/2025 10:36

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:34

I can’t believe some of these responses. To me it’s public indecency. I would take photo evidence and go to the police.

You'd photograph people having sex?

Bodypumpmum · 31/08/2025 10:36

I wouldnt want my kids to see this disgusting behaviour!!....

but id certainly watch with some ice cream!

Original poster
doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:36

It’s common decency to make sure you’re not exposing yourself before you get down to it right?
I know it’s a fine line to distinguish whether they’re aware and ‘exhibiting’ themselves or not but we live in a very family orientated neighbourhood so hopefully they will respect that.

OP posts:
VioletandMauve · 31/08/2025 10:36

Some of the PPs sound like they are making the OP’s husband out to be a voyeur which is ridiculous and I’m assuming by “he saw a lot of detail” possibly means seeing them change position rather than getting his binoculars out.

Large windows, with the lights on means they want to be watched. I’d report them as it’s gross indecency. I think sending a letter would just add to their excitement!

Weekmindedfool · 31/08/2025 10:37

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:36

It’s common decency to make sure you’re not exposing yourself before you get down to it right?
I know it’s a fine line to distinguish whether they’re aware and ‘exhibiting’ themselves or not but we live in a very family orientated neighbourhood so hopefully they will respect that.

How far away is the house?

suitcasesarepacked · 31/08/2025 10:38

ToKittyornottoKitty · 31/08/2025 10:20

How hard is he watching to see all that detail ‘in the distance’ while putting his kids to bed really? Doesn’t sound like he just shut the curtains which would be my first step

Hhhmmm. Probably not very hard at all.

We had a development issue where houses with big windows were going to be put in front of us. We invited the planner to our house to see other houses — further away - with equally large windows to illustrate the privacy issue.

We could both see the kids book that had been overlooked behind a chair - one if those ‘Not my …’ books. The planner then told me how she had a neighbour she saw stetting around his house naked, even further away than the houses I was showing her.

All I had to do was walk down my passage and glance into my own garden to see glimpses of private life in their house beyond.

I saw their teenage daughter getting dressed, the husband brushing his teeth wearing M&S pyjamas. She vacuumed every day twice a day, but missed the bloody book. I saw all of this just existing normally in my own home.

So I can totally believe sex acts are very easily seen and I’d HATE my kids to see that.

Nesbi · 31/08/2025 10:38

”using binoculars” FFS!

Some of these responses are unbelievable. I suspect they would have been different though if both times it was just a guy who could be seen madturbating. At some point the kids will inevitably see, and they will watch. That’s a pretty grim prospect.

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:38

PorcelainBlueCorydalis · 31/08/2025 10:36

You'd photograph people having sex?

Show quote history

How else would you prove it? It would just be your word against there’s? I dunno really what’s right

Allthegoodhorses · 31/08/2025 10:39

*theirs

atamlin · 31/08/2025 10:39

They know they’re being seen. Arseholes.

GAJLY · 31/08/2025 10:40

heldinadream · 31/08/2025 10:24

Light on and big windows?
It's deliberate. It's exhibitionism.
I'd be tempted to get the police to have a word.

Yes I agree, log it with the police every single time.

MulberryMoon · 31/08/2025 10:41

It's hardly prudish to not want children seeing people having sex. They sound like exhibitionists

SweetcornFritter · 31/08/2025 10:41

doremifaso · 31/08/2025 10:05

My children’s bedrooms looks out toward a house in the distance that has a bedroom in which looks like a converted loft. They have big floor to ceiling windows and NO curtains.
We were told by my neighbour once that he saw the occupiers there having sex in full view in front of the window - this was during an afternoon.
My husband also witnessed their act just last night when settling the kids to bed. It’s not hard to miss because their light is on and they’re BIG windows. My husband said he saw a lot of detail.
Not to sound prude but I’m really concerned about my children one day seeing them doing it. I have both sons and a daughter and don’t really want to expose them to sex in this way.

I’ve been told I don’t really have much right to complain because it’s within their own home but I am thinking of writing a letter to politely ask if they would be able to get some blinds or curtains installed.
If they ignore it, is there anything else I could do?
What would you do?

you could report it to the police (for the good it will do). I knew someone who received a visit from the police (many years ago now) because she used to deliberately get undressed in her towerblock bedroom with the curtains pulled back so inmates in the local prison could enjoy the view.

banananas1999 · 31/08/2025 10:42

Exhibitionists, they know what they are doing and find people looking at then a turn on. No different than pervs who show their ding dongs etc to kids in public. Call the police and let them take it from there.

DramaLlamacchiato · 31/08/2025 10:42

How could he have seen that much detail if the house is in the distance? Did he have his binoculars out?

SerendipityJane · 31/08/2025 10:42

Weekmindedfool · 31/08/2025 10:37

How far away is the house?

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"in the distance" ...

Heronwatcher · 31/08/2025 10:43

Yes, I agree with others, this sounds like they are doing it deliberately.

Also agree I would not be fine with my kids seeing that, no more than I’d be not fine with people having sex on trains, on the beach etc. Even though they are in their own home there are likely to be various offences committed depending on the facts and how many people can see them/ how clear it is.

I think in the first instance I’d write a note to them saying that they may not realise it but they can be seen by many houses, including small kids, and would they mind either turning the lights off and/ or investing in some reflective window film themselves. If they carried on after that I’d file a non-urgent police report every single time.

JaffacakeCookie · 31/08/2025 10:43

PorcelainBlueCorydalis · 31/08/2025 10:33

The house is in the distance, I suspect op dh was using binoculars

Show quote history

Aye, because he happens to have a pair in his back pocket, for just such an occasion, when putting his children to bed.
You're a bit dense aren't you.